Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur Episode 8: Too fast, too strong

It's a balancing act.  If you aren't thinking strategy, if you aren't playing the game from minute one, you can make some serious missteps right off the bat.  It is never too early to remind yourself that Survivor is a game built on building alliances, planning for the future and positioning yourself for a deep run.  But you can also play too hard, too early and make yourself an easy target.  Val Collins learned that lesson episode two when she thought she was being strategic and inventive telling her tribe mate Jon Misch that she had not one but two immunity idols.  She overplayed her hand and ended up the second boot.  It took 21 days, but Josh Canfield learned that lesson as well.  As he told us in his post-torch snuffing confessional, "I just revealed a little too much of who I was out here and that sent me packing."

The tribe gathering for the reward challenge

Last week, Jeff Probst said that Julie McGee's decision to quit the game may have resulted in a "million dollar break" for someone.  Whether or not that check will be written to Jeremy Collins, we know that Josh was not the beneficiary of that rash decision.  He was at the top of an alliance that was ready to vote out his biggest threat, Jeremy, and solidify his position as the one to beat.  As Drew might have said, basically, Josh was a bad ass.  So what went so horribly wrong?

Josh had an early, solid alliance with Baylor Payne.  Probably always on the lookout for a guy she can trust (thanks to inevitable daddy and stepdaddy issues), Baylor had joined with Josh and agreed to vote out one of the women (Nadiya) and stand with the guy alliance. So how did Josh repay her?  He blindsided Baylor by putting her name down for no apparent reason.  Three days into the game.  He tried to justify it by telling her it was to remove suspicion that the two were working together. Well, it worked brilliantly because it certainly removed that suspicion -- from Baylor's mind.

The next time they went to tribal council, Josh knew that his ally Baylor was the target and switched his vote to Val to guarantee a tie vote, which ultimately led to Val being the next out and not Baylor.  But again, Josh failed to share his strategy with Baylor and she was left feeling alone in their two-person alliance.  Whenever they were together, Josh pushed their deal, but Baylor could never trust him.

Let's assume that Josh saw Tony's game in Survivor Caramoan and he thought that these wonky votes would not hurt him.  What Josh forgot was that by the time Tony was casting crazy, unexpected votes and having to explain himself afterwards, they were already weeks into the game. He had already built up trust with these people, had already trained them to believe him, so when he did something crazy, he could come back to them, tell them he did it for their own good, and they believed him.

Josh never had that level of trust with Baylor.  More importantly, because this season is a Blood v. Water season, he was also hurt by everyone knowing that his one true alliance was with his boyfriend Reed.

Baylor and Missy talking strategy

But let's be fair to Josh, who otherwise played a great game and was so much fun to watch.  He may have lost Baylor's trust and may not have been able to get her vote with the handy, "you owe me" but Baylor wasn't the reason he was the first person sent to hang out at the Ponderosa.  That honor goes to Jaclyn.  She and Jon were all ready to side with Josh and Reed, Keith and Wes and Alec to vote off Jeremy, swayed by Reed's statement that whoever ends up in the final tribal council against the affable fireman with two kids does not stand a chance.

The anti-Jeremy alliance was solid.  But give people three extra days to contemplate anything - especially food and sleep deprived people who are trying to win $1 million - and they will second and third guess themselves.  That's what happened to Jon and Jaclyn.  He was a bit on the fence about his decision to scuttle his alliance with Jeremy (remember when Jon vowed to protect Val?  Yeah, me neither) but it was Jaclyn who had a revelation.  She did not like the boorish frat trifecta of Alec, Wes and Keith and she did not like not being included in any strategy discussions when Jon was away from camp.

The more Jaclyn thought of it, why would she and Jon want to go up against all these guys now that individual immunity is so important?  Josh and Reed have balance and strength, Alec and Wes are pretty fit (Wes is a fireman, too) and even Keith has beasted some competitions. Wouldn't it be better to go to the end with Jeremy (who went out FIRST in the first solo immunity challenge last week), Natalie, Baylor and Missy??  And, though this didn't seem to enter into her consciousness, wouldn't it be better to break up the other pairs and be the last one standing?  And Jaclyn liked Baylor, preferred to hang out and talk to her than be ignored or disrespected by he guys.  It was an easy decision in the end.

I was sad to see Josh go.  He loved the game and came to play, but sometimes it's good to remind ourselves that playing and winning is not as easy as some people - *cough* Tony *cough* - make it look!

Josh gives his last Survivor confessional

Other highlights/lowlights:
For the reward challenge, the tribe was split in two groups, the winning group going to a taco (and beer and margarita) bar, the loser dining on snails.  Not escargot.  Snails.  As Reed noted, the split was not along party lines, so his winning team consisted of his allies, Wes and Keith, along with his nemeses Jeremy and Natalie.  The split left neither group in a position to strategize but those who feasted barely noticed, being distracted by watching Wes stuff as much into his mouth as he could before his body alerted him he'd gone too far.

Keith has absolutely no social skills or self-awareness.  It's one thing to complain about Baylor being lazy and privileged, it's another thing to do it in front of the self-described mama bear Missy.  And it's another thing on top of that to them blame Missy for stepping in and doing what he thinks Baylor should be doing around camp.  So, let's see, he said you're daughter's lazy and you're an enabler.  How far does he plan on making it in the game?

Keith is not a great liar.  He tried at the taco fiesta to sell the story that Julie had been his target and that he had no idea what he would have done had they gone to tribal after she quit. Jeremy is not buying one moment of that story and knows now that Keith is firmly with the other alliance.

Wes is young.  He knows not to wolf down large quantities of Mexican food (heck any food) and alcohol especially after not eating much for three weeks.  So what does he do?  Ask for double meat, double cheese for double the pain.  He will be paying for this mistake as well anyone in ear/nose shot of him.

Natalie should get a legal separation from Nadiya.  Together, they are annoying as hell.  Alone, Natalie is one of the most entertaining Survivors ever.

If you had trouble playing along with that memory test/immunity challenge sitting on your couch, after sleeping in your comfy bed last night and having a nice, balanced meal, imagine trying to remember all that in their condition.  Very impressed with Jeremy.

Jeremy walks a fine line between respectful and misogynistic (I bet Val gave him a good talking to about treating women differently, albeit with chivalry), Keith/Alec/Wes have obliterated the line and are some rude, crude, women haters.  Thank goodness Jaclyn woke up to the arrogance and rudeness of those guys. Unfortunately, instead of targeting one of those three sexist pigs, we lost Josh.  When he looks back on his game, maybe Josh will think twice about aligning with people like that.

Natalie didn't say much, but she made every word count.  She pointed out at tribal how the guys don't include Jaclyn in their decisions and she mentioned how nice it would be to get the old Hunahpu group back together (meaning, Jon come back!).  It was a nice play to get the power couple.

Quotes: 
Wes: "I wish I had the will power to control myself"
Wes: "It was all fun and games until I felt like crap."
Keith: "As long as you're still burping I guess you're okay."
Keith: "Wes is a good kid. He ain't been to jail yet."

Confessionals:

Missy (3)
Jon (2)
Reed 
Natalie 
Jeremy (4)
Wes 
Keith
Josh (3)
Baylor (3)
Jaclyn (3)
Alec

Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur: Blood v. Water Episode Two: You have two what?

When someone describes their inexplicably crazy behavior with the old standby "there's a method to my madness," be wary. What they're telling you is they know that there is no reasonable explanation for their actions, they have no idea what possessed them, and they're really hoping they don't end up in a 48 hour psych hold for what they just did.  Josh tells Baylor that he has a perfectly good reason for why he voted for her at tribal council and neither she nor we the viewers has any idea what he was thinking.  Sure, cast a wonky vote if you want but to do it against your secret ally without telling her first is not a great way to build trust and solidify your alliance.

You know what also doesn't qualify as "method to my madness?"  Pretending you have TWO immunity idols early in the game when your entire goal should be to be as inconspicuous as possible. Val was already in some trouble having been sent to Exile Island the first day and, thus, not having the chance to bond or form alliances with her fellow tribemates.  But she escaped the vote last week when the tribe sent Nadiya out and she wasn't on anyone's radar. So what does she decide to to?  Lie to a potential ally about something that will only make you a huge target in the game  She tells John Rocker (known, of course, for his reticence and equanimity) that she has TWO idols which, if I understand Survivor math, is exponentially a bigger lie than claiming to have one idol.  Even her husband Jeremy would probably try to flush out at least one of those damned idols by voting for her.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.  After Josh's head-scratching confession to Baylor, we move to Heroes' Arena and the moment we were waiting for.  What will be Natalie's reaction to finding out that her twin sister Nadiya was the first tribe member evicted?  Well, all of us twinnie haters, how do you feel now?  The poor girl was devastated, stunned, crying and clearly shaken by the realization that she wouldn't be seeing her sister for many days to come.  I realized what a heartless bitch I can be when I'm watching Reality TV and forgetting that the "real" part is that these are real people, with real feelings.  This was terribly sad and I wanted to give that annoying girl a hug, if she promised not to speak for five minutes.  Luckily, she had a surrogate mom, Missy, there to comfort her and she'll soon realize that her chances of winning increased exponentially with her partner out of the game.  Plus, if she ever gets tired, maybe Nadiya can swap in for her and no one will be the wiser!

We have the rock-paper-scissors face off to determine who chooses the duelers in today's battle and since rock won last time,  you knew someone was going to go rogue and throw paper just to mess with us and John Rocker was the bad boy to do it (that's about as exciting as I can make roshambo sound).  John picks himself to battle for the blue tribe, which means the buoyant Julie will go head-to-head in the duel and if it's who can stay under water the longest, he's a lock.  Unfortunately for John that wasn't the challenge and he probably should have taken a gander at the actual competition before choosing to take part.  Perhaps he might have noticed that being ginormously, freakishly tall and broad of shoulder would not be a benefit in this duel and picked someone of normal stature.  He and his big head and bigger upper body were no match for Julie, but he handled losing in typically gracious Rocker-style, saying, it wasn't just bad losing to his girlfriend, what really stung was losing to a girl.  Stay classy, John!

John is off to Exile Island and Julie makes the decision to send him there with Jeremy which is either a strong move to get John to form an alliance with another physically strong competitor or a test to see if John can go 48 hours without saying anything offensive.  Her tribe is about to claim their reward - fishing gear - when Reed tries to negotiate a better deal with Jeff.  Jon had lost their flint and Reed asks Jeff if they can trade their remaining beans for a new flint.  Jeff flashes his signature smile, stuns them with his dimples of doom, and lets them know that he has all the power in this negotiation, they have none.  As he so succinctly puts it, "My life is fine."  They end up surrendering all the fishing gear and much of their dignity for the flint and learning a valuable lesson about trying to one up the Probster.

While John's on Exile Island his not-so-secret identity is revealed back at camp and everyone learns that the hulking sexist is the notorious every-minority-group offending, former Atlanta Braves' pitcher.  Some hope that he's changed over the years, while the game-savvy Josh hopes that the physical threat with the checkered background will act as a lightning rod and be a valuable fall guy in the future.  On Exile Island, Jeremy has also figured out who John is but he's willing to put the past behind if he can turn John into an asset to help Val on their tribe.  He decides to share the clue to the hidden Immunity Idol with John in exchange for him promising to have Val's back.  Oh, yes, John has her back.  How else can he make sure the knife goes into the right spot.

It's Jeff Probt's favorite immunity challenge, the face off where Vytas and Aras famously replayed thirty odd years of sibling rivalry during the first Blood v. Water.  This showdown has nearly as many great moments.  After the first "which blonde is which" showdown (Jaclyn beat Kelley in a tough duel), we had our first blood showdown with Drew going up against his younger brother Alec.  Drew won round one of the relatively tame sibling battle.  Wes seemed to be the underdog as Jeremy looked bigger and stronger, but the younger firefighter pulled off a commanding win (and earned a loud cheer from teammate Val).

Natalie channeled her anger at the opposing team for dispatching her twin into a win (despite John shouting for Val to try a choke hold).  The Jon versus John battle was epic with youth winning out over size (and giving us all a moment to enjoy John's bloody nose).  Then the heartbreaking mother-daughter battle which saw Missy give her daughter a split lip which, after three failed marriages, may not be the worst thing she ever did to Baylor, but still.  But my favorite moment was the Reed versus Josh battle, where one of Reed's blue-buffed teammates could not get his name straight and cheered for Josh.  Of all the negative stereotypes about gays, "they all look alike" is one I missed.  But more likely, it's a case of Drew (or was that Alec) not being the brightest wannabe male model out there. The battle of the old guys was impressive and the farmer Dale kept his team alive and took down the firefighter Keith.  But his daughter pulled out the win in her rematch with Jaclyn and the blue tribe won their second Immunity challenge, fourth win over all.

The yellow team - Coyopa (we're seeing so much of them I actually learned their name, woo!) - comes back, dejected again, from losing.  You'd think they'd be used to it by now.  Dale is proud of his daughter, but disappointed that her victory is sending his tribe to its second tribal council of the season.  He needn't fear.  Not only did he show himself a good competitor, but the guys have a numerical advantage in the tribe and their eyes appear to be set on one of the girls.

Val talks to John in front of their fellow tribemates, rather than taking him aside.  He admits, in front of Jaclyn's earshot, that Jeremy shared the Hidden Immunity Idol clue with him.  Then, inexplicably (and even more inexplicably after Val tries in her confessional to explicate it), she tells John she has two idols, one she found on the island, one back at camp.  She praises her amazing acting skills to us, but John is so unconvinced that he goes looking for the idol at camp and, using the additional clues of seven paces north, finds it.  Parenthetically, I thought he'd overshoot the location, because I didn't imagine anyone would have used his gigantic feet/massive stride to measure and thought his seven steps would be more like twelve for an average-sized castaway, but it was right where he started digging.  Go figure.

John puts the idol around his neck and tells us that he'd like to save it until further in the game, when the athletic types like him are targeted.  So true fans are now sure he's going to be blindsided this episode, with the idol either in his pocket or hidden back at camp.  We're even more convinced when John tells us his goal now is to save Val and his plan involves putting an enormous target on her, making sure she has at least three votes at tribal.  Under what theory of the game is telling the tribe that someone has two immunity idols a way to protect them?  John tells us he has this cockamamie idea of splitting the votes between Val and Baylor because, even though he knows he has the idol, his masterplan is to flush out an idol he had to know didn't exist and in the process betray his promise to Jeremy thereby assuring if he makes the merge, he will be Jeremy's first target. But he get to share in the dumb move of the day award with Val.  He tells Val his stupid plan and at no time does she say, that would work like gangbusters if I really did have an idol. Instead, she believes she has this all figured out.  There will be a three-three split, so if she gets Jaclyn to vote with her, Baylor goes. 

At tribal, battle lines are drawn and it's the two women - Val and Jaclyn - against the guy's alliance plus Baylor.  Val actually launched the first volley, blaming Baylor for playing both sides, but Baylor counters with the fact that she's now in the majority alliance and Val and Jaclyn are the odd ones out.  The guys, including John, are convinced that Val has an idol and stick to the vote-splitting plan and are all stunned when she doesn't play it.  Val shows that she's not great at math because even with Jaclyn's vote, there is still a 4-4 tie in the first round of voting, not 5-3 as she was hoping.  John quickly jumps off the Val train and shifts his vote to Baylor, knowing that there aren't enough votes for Val to make it.  He knows he'll have hell to pay from Jeremy but that assumes that he makes it to the merge which is still a long way off.

Val's departure was not unexpected.  She came in with a numerical disadvantage on her tribe and once Nadiya was picked off, the next least physical female looked to be in trouble.  She also was hurt by being sent to Exile Island the first day and not having had the chance to bond.  But she could have helped herself by being honest with John and helping him come up with a plan to save her.  Her early exit does help Jeremy who would be a big threat to leave otherwise - physically strong, superfan, already sent to Exile.  But it puts Jaclyn clearly in the crosshairs as the last player not in with the main alliance. 

Confessionals:
Josh (3)
Jeremy (2)
Jon (2)
Baylor
Kelley
Missy
Natalie
Dale
John