American Idol, Season 10 -- Top 11 Perform

Remember when the leaks of all the show's changes dribbled out over a number of months starting last fall?  One of the more intriguing leaks suggested that the era of the "Theme Night" was over and that contestants would no longer be forced to sing outside of their musical comfort zone.  For American Idol Season 9, that would have meant Crystal Bowersox would not have had to sing any song where wearing shoes or brushing your hair was required and Lee DeWyze would only have had to sing songs that had no discernible key.

But lo and behold, theme nights are back with a vengeance and tonight's was Motown.  Now, being of a certain age -- and, yes, I do love the daily AARP Spam I get -- means that I relate to these songs and probably hold them to a higher scrutiny than I would a theme such as Flo Rida collaborations or songs GLEE has yet to cover.

Ryan Seacrest reminds us of the stakes tonight.  There are eleven contestants, but only ten can be part of next summer's disappointing, many shows canceled, half-empty theater tour.  You won't want to miss that.  Haley, I'm talking to you.  Spoiler alert!

So first up is the living Wookiee, Casey Abrams.  He lumbers on stage after a brief backstage look at his interactions with the producers where they beg him, for the love of everything holy, do not sing like you tonight.  Please, no growling, screeching, screaming, yelling, or any of those things you feel obliged to do because you are not actually a gifted vocalist but a sideshow act waiting for the next circus to roll into town.  Casey decides to try and sing a Marvin Gaye song because, other than being killed by his father, the thing we best remember about Marvin Gaye was that he had the most beautiful and evocative voices in all of music.  It is such a natural choice for someone who can barely hold three notes in a row melodically to try and take on one of music's greatest vocalists!

I cannot pretend to be surprised by his painful, toneless, shouted-word take on the classic "I Heard it Through the Grapevine."  I was surprised, however, by two things.  One, how hard his buttons had to work to keep his shirt together.  (My daughter, who actually came up with that joke, has threatened to hire a lawyer to send me a cease and desist order, preventing me from using her source material to try and make my lame AI post funny.  I'm keeping the joke in, hoping we can reach a settlement at the mall.)   Two, how the judges continue to trip all over themselves and each other in their attempts to heap undeserved praise on this guy.  The only one Casey Abrams pleases when he sings is himself and after watching the 90 second masturbation sequence, one of the people I was watching with in the chat room suggested that he should smoke a cigarette and then roll over and go to sleep on the stage. 

Thia Megia has been one of my favorites from the beginning.  Cute with a big, clear, ready to sing the next Disney princess movie theme song, she's been consistently great.  But the judges have been less than wowed by her playing it safe (translation: singing well week after week).  So she tried to shake it up and take on the smoky, sultry, sexy song "Heatwave."  Now, it was sold as "Martha and the Vandellas'" song, but for me, the definitive version is Linda Ronstadt's.  This is what "Heatwave" should sound like:

Instead, sweet sixteen-year-old Thia performed it like she was at her high school talent show.  She sang the notes but not the words.  There was no passion, feeling or... heat.  She might as well been singing "Pleasant weather, about 72."

Next up was Jacob Lusk, who every week oversings and overemotes on his way to being overpraised by the judges.  Tonight was no exceptions what with Steven Tyler practically dry humping him after his performance and Randy Jackson tearing open his Thesaurus of Undeserved Compliments so he can find new unwarranged superlatives for Jacob's performance.  I appreciate Jacob's attempts to listen to the producers suggestion that her dial it back from Broadway Show Stopper meets Gospel Revival on acid to merely self-indulgently over-the-top.  It was a nice change of pace.  One of the judges said Jacob was a baby Luther (Vandross), I'd say he's more Liza than Luther and that his grotesque, burlesque kitsch started out old and now is getting really scary.

Also scary is how the not-so-subtle pimping of past years has turned into a blatant coronation this year.  First, they give Jacob his own choir.  Then they give him a spotlight.  Tonight, they dragged up on stage a dozen extras from Beatlemania to come worship him and wrap him in their fanatic embraces.  Do we still need the next nine weeks?  This has as much suspense as the second viewing of the Sixth Sense.

Just when I'm considering giving up on American Idol, help comes along in the form of Lauren Alaina.  Now this next joke, I am not taking credit/blame for, but when she came out on stage someone in my house wondered when they changed the rules and allowed you to be on two reality shows at the same time.  When I told them that Lauren was not in fact Kirstie Alley, I felt a little guilty figuring out the punch line so quickly.  But Lauren, really, walk a little.  It's good for you!  Putting the superficial aside, Lauren has an amazing voice and she is back on top for me.  She nailed "Keep Me Hanging On" and if it were a little later and I was desperate for material I would say that she had me hanging on to her every distinct, electrifying, powerful note.  This was her best performance to date.

Stefano Langone chose one of the most annoying songs ever recorded, Lionel Richie's "Hello," which reminds me that the last Lionel Richie song I liked was when he sang "Brick House" with the Commodores.  Stefano talked about his mother's cooking, in another blatant attempt to make us forget his DUI, but chef Gordon Ramsey later tasted the leftovers and deemed them a felony in their own right.  Stefano has a really great tone to his voice, yet week after week I'm not sold at all about his potential.  There's some weird disconnect between the sounds he can produce and the final product.  But he's a relatively cute male which means he'll get enough votes to give him a couple more weeks to try and figure this out.

The combination of the arrangement of "You Really Got a Hold on Me" and Haley Reinhardt's slow, seductive strut brought to mind Natalie Wood's portrayal of stripper Gypsy Rose Lee.  This could not have been her intention as American Idol is good, wholesome viewing, suitable for the whole family.  I expected Howard Stern to come out and emcee the rest of the show.  Haley committed another sin -- straightening her signature hair which will just confused voters who won't know what happened to that cute, curly haired girl, and will have to give their votes to Kirstie Alley instead because she was so good on Cheers.

My boy Scotty McCreery was up next and all I can say is yee haw, I'm starting to love me some country music.  Scotty sang "For Once in My Life" and one of the members of the peanut gallery here at my house offered that he sounded like Glen Campbell -- which was what Steven Tyler said.  Score!  I loved Glen Campbell, back before he ruined it all with "Rhinestone Cowboy," so that may explain why Scotty's voice does not cause me to react like the Manchurian Candidate after seeing the Queen of Diamonds.  But the mannerisms have got to go.  I'm assuming the best (yeah, there's a first time for everything) and thinking that his difficulty holding a microphone and singing into it without looking like a deranged Howdy Doody is because he's used to playing a guitar when he sings.  That or he really is possessed by the ghost of some creepy lounge singer.

Pia Toscano continues to be perfect in every way.  One does wonder how someone who is gorgeous and sings like an angel had to come on American Idol to be discovered.  Has she no friends who could have videotaped her and put her up on YouTube singing "Friday, Friday, Gettin' Down on Friday?"  Let's compare and contrast Pia with Rebecca Black and you will see all that is wrong with the music industry -- and the record-buying public and America. 

So my daughter wondered why Daniel Negreanu was on the show and I told her that wasn't the Canadian poker pro but another of the judge's inexplicable favorites, the follicly-challenged Paul McDonald.  No, I explained to her, he doesn't have a good voice.  And, no, he doesn't really look good on stage.  But he's different and that is a buzz word meaning he's not boring and might be discussed in the morning around some proverbial water cooler, which is all that reality TV shows really care about.  So let's discuss.  Paul, may I speak to you directly?  When you are a singer and the judges compare you to Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan, that is their way of telling you that you can't sing.  It may seem a little subtle, a little over your head, but if you think back to the last time you heard Willie or Bob, remember that pained expression on your face?  That's what the rest of us look like when we listen to you.

So Paul tried to sing "Tracks of My Tears," and it was less awful than in previous weeks if only because I wasn't also forced to watch his uncoordinated gyrations around the stage.  He croaked and brayed and warbled so much that I expected Jack Hanna to come out on stage.  But at least it was over quickly.

I said it last week, I will say it until she leaves.  I love Naima Adedapo.  She is a performer who is captivating to watch.  I don't know that she'll sell a lot of albums, but if the choice is between going to see a concert with her or any of the arguably better female vocalists left on the show, I'll take her.  She's got "it" -- that undefinable something that makes some people stars despite not being as gifted naturally as some others.  Tonight she actually had the vocals to back up her cover of "Dancing in the Street," so I will be very surprised and disappointed if she is again in the bottom three. 

Last up was James Durbin, rebounding from last week's less-than-stellar performance with a kick-ass version of "Livin' for the City" (probably my favorite Stevie Wonder song).  When you think that James' can't go any farther with his voice, when you think it will give out or fall short, he surprises you by nailing it.  He sings with reckless abandon and it is a little like watching a net-less high wire act.  It's daring and scary but oh so exciting when you see he's made it to the other end.  I really like this kid a lot and hope that the invariable Adam Lambert comparisons don't derail him early in the competition.

So my top three:  Lauren, James and Scotty
My bottom three:  Stefano, Haley and Paul
Alert the media, Jacob and Casey were spared bottom three this week!!
My predicted bottom three:  Haley, Thia and Stefano, with Haley getting the boot

What say you?

American Idol Season 10, Top 12 Perform

The theme is "songs from the year you were born," which is one of my least favorite since it only reinforces just how long I've been alive and just how young some of these kids are. On the other hand, if I had to sing this theme, I'd get to roll super-cool with Mack the Knife.  Bobby Darin was such a babe.  Seriously, check him out.

The show opens with the three judges and Ryan sending out their condolences to Japan and letting us know that the profits from the sale of tonight's downloads will go to help aid efforts in Japan.  Whatever else you say about American Idol, when they rally their efforts to raise money for charity, they usually do a pretty good job.  I hope tonight is no exception.

On with the show.  The colorful flower that is Naima Adedapo opens with Tina Turner's "What's Love Got to Do With it?"  She should sing, "What do vocals got to do with it?" because she has every other part of the performance down except the singing.  The girl does not have the pipes to take on  Tina Fey let alone Tina Turner (for purposes of this joke I'm assuming Tina Fey can't sing).  But, there is something about Naima.  I love her whole vibe. It's weird, because I'm usually a stickler for a good voice.  Maybe she hypnotizes me with all the flowing colors and plumage.  Maybe they can get her singing lessons between now and next week, or hire Martha Wash to sing for her while she lip syncs.  Points to those who get the C&C Music Factory reference.

Is it possible that my hatred of Paul McDonald's voice grows with every week?  It's almost strangely romantic.  Just when I think he can't possibly sound any worse, he surprises me with a truly atrocious performance like tonight's scratchy, weak, tuneless "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues."  How do you choose what to focus on, the awful vocals or the drunk gyrations across the stage that I guess are his version of dancing?  Not since Sanjaya Malakar has an AI contestant tried so hard to be bad.  Maybe next week he'll force what few hairs he has left into a really epic mohawk.  Anything to distract from his squeaky, creepy, "is your mommy home?" voice and his uncoordinated, spasmodic movements.

Beautiful and very young Thia Megia sings the sweet and sleepy "Colors of the Wind."  She has such a mature, rich voice and she sounds amazing singing just about anything.  But, much as I hate to, I have to agree with the judges that there is more to performing than singing well and Thia needs a little of what Naima has that causes me to ignore the fact that she's practically tone deaf. 

James Durbin is up next and he tells Ryan that he formed a band with Stefano, Casey and Paul.  They're giggin' in the mansion, partying with each other.  I'm not making this up, that's a quote.  Yeah, those four wild and crazy band camp geeks must really get down. Intimidating they're not.  I've loved Durbin the last couple of weeks but this week he starts out flat and seems to have trouble finding his vocal footing.  He's chosen another rock song, Bon Jovi's "I'll Be There for You," but it doesn't highlight his voice at all.  He's still a cutie pie and I love his voice, but this was not a memorable performance.

Haley Reinhart comes from a family of musicians and is proud of them as they are of her.  She couldn't be more adorable and squeaky clean if she were in Up With People.  She's taking on Whitney Houston's "I'm Your Baby Tonight."  Um.  Yeah.  So.  She really seems like a nice girl.  She loves her family. Her hair is shiny. It looks like she cares about good dental health.  She's really pretty.  But the voice?  Pageant worthy, but not ready for the big time.

When Stefano Langone dragged out a song almost as old as me, "If you don't Know Me By Now" originally performed by Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes, I thought I was watching American Graffiti instead of American Idol.  But, I've got to give it to the kid, he's got the voice.  He has a pure, crystalline tone, very Bruno Mars-y, that will sound great on records.  And he's cute.  Of course, the AI people know all that, but also know today's revelation that the cute boy who fought back from the brink of death has a DUI from last year will not engender a lot of love and votes.  So what do they do?  They send him out into the audience for a hug with his mom.  Sure, he risked his life and that of many strangers' driving intoxicated last year (after his near fatal car crash!), but his mommy loves him.  Harrumph.  Makes me MADD.

Next up is the only person who could erase his performance, the radiant Pia Toscano.  I should hate her.  She's gorgeous and has an amazing talent.  But I don't.  She's singing a song I don't know, "Where Do Broken Hearts Go," and for the second time tonight I wonder where I was in the late eighties, early nineties.  Oh, right, listening to good music on KROQ.  These other songs are a mystery to me.  But, even without being familiar with the song, her talent is undeniable.

How cute are Scotty McCreery's parents?  And his dad even takes on the song that Scotty sang about three dozen times the first week on Idol.  Adorable!  So Scotty sings some country song I've never heard of and I don't feel as I've missed anything.  Is there just one country song that is recycled over and over, because I can't for the life of me differentiate this from any other country song I've heard.  This one is called "Can I Trust You With My Heart" and Scotty tells us it's by Travis Tritt.  I'll have to take his word on it, because I'm not checking out the original.  For his genre, Scotty sounds a-ok with me.  Scotty should have a record deal already, and a TV show, and cute little action figures that sing "Baby lock them doors" when you pull on their ears. 

Well, that's a surprise.  Karen Rodriguez is still in the competition.  I was wondering why this was a two hour show, considering I could only remember about six contestants.  Okay, Karen, you should have demanded right of refusal for that baby picture.  That was not quirky or funny, that was butt ugly.  Luckily, you outgrew it (three gallons of peroxide a year helps!).  The piano accompanying her version of "Love Will Lead You Back" tried its best to drown her out, but, sadly, I could still hear Karen in all her wedding singer, karaoke blandness.  It's just there.  Not memorably bad but enjoyable like Naima, just a "C."  Oh, and for her fans, I'll add, no bueno.

What a shocker!  Casey Abrams' parents are as full of themselves as their little angel is of his precious little self.  If I didn't already think that Casey Abrams has the largest ego since Donald Trump, he has found a new height of chutzpah taking on Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit."  I want to sue Courtney Love for letting this lummox getting his greasy paws on Kurt Cobain's music.  Luckily, it will be over soon.  Oh, god, not soon enough. He's yodeling!!!  What the heck!?!?  Again, he thinks of performance as masturbation -- if he's happy, that's all that matters.  This is exactly the kind of performance you'd expect at a frat house.  One of those watching with me wonders why he's singing like Charles Manson.

At first it seemed a little awkward seeing Lauren Alaina sitting there, talking with her dad, until you realize that's her mom!  They look identical, not in the faux compliment, oh you two could be sisters, but in the, wow, that is really weird sense.  There is no question about bringing home the wrong baby from the hospital, my only question is -- cloned or not cloned?  Lauren belts out "I'm the Only One" and does Melissa Ethridge proud.  She sounds great, although I could have done without her asking the audience to shout along.  We can only have one self-absorbed diva in the compeition, and Casey has that role locked up. 

Closing out the show is my raison d'etre.  My sine qua non.  If Jacob Lusk were to leave the competition, I would have no reason to write about it anymore.  Not even the Anderson Cooper appearance-deserving disaster that is Casey Abrams can bring me to my computer as fast as Jacob "Lusky Stank" Lusk can.  He practically writes his own paragraph.  He says of his mother, whatever you do, do not let her sing.  Do not give her a microphone.  Oh, Jacob, I say that about you every week.  And yet here you are again on my tv, about to destroy a nice Heart song that never did anything to you, "Alone."

If the sound were off, you'd think this was the reaction shot of a slasher film.  He grimaces, he screams, he pleads, he weeps.  How much suffering must he endure?  Well, not as much as me because in the interest of fairness I keep the sound on and actually have to hear him treat another song like Mel Gibson treats his women.  I do not know what the judges or the producers who gave him a literal winner's spotlight at the end of the song see in him, but I hear an overwrought ham who should be trying out for La Cage aux Folles where his cheesiness would fit in quite nicely.

My top tonight: Scotty, Pia, Lauren
My bottom tonight: Paul, Jacob and Casey

Who will be in the bottom tomorrow: Haley, Karen and Naima.  Because America hates bland more than awful.

American Idol, Season 10 -- Top 13 Perform

Tonight all 13 performers took the stage for the first time and things were quite different from American Idols past.  Looking less like a reality TV competition show and more like an artist spotlight, the focus seems to be on  tapping into the Glee zeitgeist by presenting polished young people singing intensely produced songs which will be instantly available to DOWNLOAD NOW.  Putting aside any pretense of discovering undiscovered talent or watching a new artist's "journey," we're now watching "make a record" boot camp.

Gone also is theme night, unless you count as a theme "music I like," which is roughly the idea behind tonight's choices.  So music savant Jimmy Iovine, Chairman of Interscope records, and his cadre of Grammy Award winning producers now groom the contestants each week to "perfect" their songs.  Part of the fun of AI had been seeing what each contestant brought to the song, whether they copied or innovated.  So we should have less crashing and burning than in years past, right? 

First up tonight is newly countrified cowgirl Lauren Alaina singing "Any Man of Mine" by Shania Twain as twangy and hokey as anything you'd see come on stage after Minne Pearl.  Why someone who can belt it out without screeching, who has such a strong, pure voice, would waste her time -- and mine -- singing such a cheesy, lightweight performance is beyond me.  I'm now under the compulsion to yell Yee Haw at the top of my lungs...does that happen to anyone else when they hear this music?  But all is well, because Lauren had a good "tahhhhm."

I'm temporarily thrown off by the fact that the judges seem to agree with me.  This is a dangerous precedent.  But no fear it will continue, because their big cuddly teddy bear pet is up next.  Let the fawning begin!

So here his is, the Idyllwild trained musician who keeps me up at night trying to find more ways of describe his unique combination of smugness and false humility.  Never exercising and forgoing basic grooming does not endear him to me, but it apparently is a very in-demand combination for much of the women out there if audience squeals are any measure.  So Casey Abrams, the unlikely sex symbol of AI10, does Joe Cocker's version of "With a Little Help from My Friends." 

Hey who was that guy behind Joe Cocker in that video from last year's AI finale?  Probably doesn't matter.

It starts out well, actually, and my faith in my taste and judgment are immediately under attack. But no fear, cavalier (little nod to REM, sorry), as Abrams resorts to more of the shouting-in-lieu-of-singing that is becoming his trademark.  Is this the spoken word part of the concert?  I beg you, Casey, try singing.  You did it for the first fifteen seconds and it wasn't bad at all.  But, of course, the judges love him, telling him, in effect, that they are so under his spell at this time that nothing he does vocally really matters.  The other contestants die a little inside.

Okay, time for the first real clunker of the night.  Ashthon Jones had been one of my favorites early on.  But her version of "Hero" -- well, I won't say is a zero, I'm above that -- is strained and not in the least tuneful. But her hair alone deserves a few votes for defying the laws of gravity and aerodynamics.

Paul McDonald.  What can I say about Paul McDonald that I haven't  already?  Scratchy voice?  Check.  Overrated?  Check.  Unrecordable voice?  Ditto.  He starts out possibly worse than I've heard him before, oozing a creepy breathlessness better suited for stalkerish midnight calls to the babysitter.  He has so little breath control, and such a thin, reedy whisper of a voice, that I want to put him on a ventilator -- not listen to another second.  But I soldier on and listen to the complete breathy, squeaky performance -- and I'm rewarded with Tosh.0 web redemption worthy dancing.  Okay, dancing is a charitable word, more like awkward scooting across the stage.  But at least it helps distract from his singing.

Pia Toscano is the new Andrew Garcia.  Remember last year, after his amazing performance of "Straight Up" how week after painful week he was reminded how he was a'ight, but not up to that earlier height of brilliance?  Well, Pia killed it last week.  So no matter what she does for the rest of the season, it will always pale by comparison.   Her copy of Celine Dion's version of the Eric Carmen sop-fest "All By Myself," was fine, good actually.  But after her brilliance of last week, good seems like abysmal.  I'm sure she'll be okay, but someone should have explained to her the concept of peeking too early.

Stuck in the middle is James Durbin singing the only really great song that Paul McCartney wrote post-Beatles, the classic "Maybe I'm Amazed."  Now, weeks ago, I called James a poor man's Adam Lambert and mocked his oversinging.  Last week I took that back, noting his was the best performance of the week.  Well, ditto this week. If anything, it's like a rebirth.  James the shrieker has been replaced with James the gifted singer.  His was the only performance of the night I was sorry had to be cut short and the only one I'd consider buying.  No snark here, boys and girls, I'm really digging this kid.

Would someone explain to Randy Jackson what the phrase "turn the other cheek" means?  Thanks.

Next up is the yodeling Haley Reinhart, covering LeAnn Rimes' "Blue."  She looks nice, she sounded fine, she's just sort of there.  She has no star quality whatsoever.  Uh oh, I'm agreeing with Randy Jackson again.  Sleepy.  See also, boring, uninspired, lazy.

Oh, lord, it's Jacob Lusk.  I find it interesting that he was just as bad at concierge service as he is at singing.  Did anyone else understand a word he said in that mock phone call at the beginning of his segment?  Didn't think so.  So the inarticulate one opens up his oversized mouth, let's us examine him for strep, while singing R. Kelly.  Seriously.  "I Believe I Can Fly" is an overwrought song to begin with, so what happens when Jacob puts his particular form of extreme vocal makeover on the song?  It's typical Jacob -- Broadway, theatrical, histrionic.  He gets a church chorus to sing for him!  Don't we usually save excessive pimping till the top 3 finale? 

About those notes near the end, you know the piercing, unending, tuneless shriek, I have this to say.  Ouch.  Next time, I'll have my thumb hovering over the mute button.

Thia Megila has been on my radar since early on.   Underrated, she has one of the best voices in the competition.  And she showed it during that stripped-down intro to "Smile."  She's got it all, looks, a great voice that sings the melody (take note Casey and Jacob) with a sweet, pure, rich tone.  The judges don't see it, complain about the arrangement, and bring her to tears.  And I'm confused.

Stefano Langone violates one of Randy Jackson's cardinal rules...though shalt not sing Stevie Wonder.  That one has always confused me since I've never thought of Stevie as a great, or even good, vocalist.  Regardless, after hearing how Stefano mangles "Lately," I'm going to agree.  That horrible, disco arrangement did him -- and the song -- no justice. 

I've never believed the excuse that someone couldn't hear themselves on stage, but after hearing Karen Rodriguez' shaky, off-key singing, that is the only reasonable explanation.  She was only slightly more interesting than Haley, but her voice was all around the notes desperately searching for the right one yet invariable missing the mark.  You know the judges' comments are not going to be good when they start by telling you how prety you look, fyi.

The Soup has already noticed Scotty McCreery and commented on some of the strange faces he makes when singing, a strange smirk that is a tad menacing.  So when you go see Scotty in concert, don't spring for the expensive seats.  Just sit way back and enjoy his voice. Because, while it is NOT my genre, he has a nice, strong yet soothing sound.  He sand Garth Brooks' "River," and did a good job.   I suppose my only concern is that country songs don't have much "oomph" to them, so they tend to sound like you're not working very hard and the judges and the voters may prefer someone who sweats more.

Lucky number 13 is Naima Adedapo and I'm a fan.  I didn't think she should have made the top 13 over some of the other, better singers, but this girl went out and performed!  Her version of Rihanna's "Umbrella" was one of the most entertaining performances of the show so far.  Is every note perfect?  Okay, I'll admit to being a little hypocritical  No, she's not pitch perfect.  Did I love the weird funked out bit?  It was a little weird.  I can't explain why I like her.  She's just got IT.  I love the tone of her voice which hits the sweet spot for my ears. She's vibrant and exciting and immensely watchable.  I just hope giving her a wacky dial in number, 36 insead of 13, won't hurt her chances.

So that's my take on the top 13.  I predict Ashton, Haley and Karen in the bottom three.  As Bill O'Reilly says, what say you?

REM is Back with "Collapse into Now"

The very beautiful REM



REM's newest album, Collapse into Now, is finally out after months of anticipation sparked by reveals along the way.  First the song titles, then some individual tracks, and then last week's listening party.  I've been nervous as the memory of listening to the disappointing (to say the least) Around the Sun still hurts just a little.  Would this album live up to the reputation of a band I consider second only to the Beatles?

Well, upon more listens, I'd say the answer is yes.  I was initially concerned as I listened to each released track, but having a chance to hear the album in its entirety shows why iTunes is such a dangerous thing.  In the old days (wow, I'm officially old enough to say that without irony) you listened to an album as the artist and producers intended, from start to finish.  There was no Chinese food menu approach, I'll take this song here and that one over there. 

When you listen to the entire album, you feel and hear a sense of purpose again to their music.  There's emphasis of finding a memorable hook and yet Stipe still allows himself to use his words to paint sometimes abstract, sometimes poetic, and occasionally clear pictures.  I love how he focuses on the sound and cadence of the words, not just their meaning, One fan has put up the lyrics to all the songs here on his website, check it out. 

Right now my favorite song is Uberlin.  There was an initial video released which I posted earlier, but a new video has been released which is part of a project that Michael Stipe is working on bringing in a variety of filmmakers to direct their own vision of the songs. Read here for more info on other upcoming collaborations.

Another new short film has been released for the song Mine Smells Like Honey.  As always, love Mike Mills vocal support, he is a perfect counterpoint to Stipe.  I'm not quite sure what to make of the video other than I don't like my Stipey being tossed around like a ragdoll.  But he seems fine with it, no worse for wear by the end, and there is a stunning shot of his intense, sparkling blue eyes.  So that works for me. 



Last is a live video of a really gripping, powerful song, Oh My Heart.  There is no one whose voice can cut through like Stipe's.  There is so much meaning in the way he chooses to enunciate certain words (something he was not known for at the beginning of his career) and then when he voice goes up during the second part of the "Oh My Heart" chorus, it just kills me.  And we have Peter Buck on mandolin again.  Listen to how he so effortlessly has that instrument sing.  It just doesn't get any better than this.

I listen to a lot of music, but there is no other artist -- not even the Beatles -- that can do to me and for me what REM does. Listening to REM revitalizes me, builds me up, sustains me. It's like a missing piece coming back to fill the hole. Recently, I've had to rely on older songs to satisfy that need, that hunger. It's particularly sweet to have a new set of songs that can do that.

Okay, one more picture of Stipe...

...at his most beautiful.

American Idol Season 10, This is your Top...13

Usually I live blog AI but today I write the day after, knowing just how wrong everything went last night and trying to find the enthusiasm to write about it.  The only redeeming aspect of this mixed bag of a final 13 is that there is plenty of snark fodder left.  Imagine if good singers like Lauren Turner, Robbie Rosen and Jovany Barreto were still on the show.  What obnoxious thing could I write about them? 

But have no fear, the American public did not let me down. 

I get more weeks with Casey "I am the Greatest" Abrams, who makes circa 1970 Muhammad Ali seem timid.  Of Randy, he says, "I think I might play upright bass better than him."  Wow, that is what the pop charts are desperate for, a great upright bass player.  American Idol is certainly keyed into what's hot now.  Poor non-upright bass playing Bruno Mars, his career is so over.  So Casey Abrams is a sex symbol?  How unfair is life for women?  This slovenly, unkempt lump is a sex symbol and if a woman carries three extra pounds, let alone looks like she hasn't groomed since the Bush administration, she would not be getting squeals from the audience.

And I will hear more from my favorite, Jacob Lusk, who sounds like a cross between Mahalia Jackson and Divine.  He has molested, manhandled, mistreated and abused notes to the point that the musical scale should seek a restraining order.  It would take him five days, an oxygen tank, and a blood transfusion to get through the Star Spangled Banner.  He is physically incapable of singing the original melody and all song writers should sue him for nonsupport.

Then I get at least another week with Paul "I just brush really hard" McDonald and his blisteringly white choppers.  I'll believe you've never bleached your teeth if you admit that your raspy, it's-so-quirky voice is a bad Rod Stewart impersonation gone wrong.  I believe that if you drank some tea with honey before you sang, you could clear up that throat condition and actually carry the notes in a pleasing way.  But if you continues to squeak and rattle like that, I'll have to take you in to Jiffy Lube and see if they can fix it.

Tonight we say goodbye to the best natural voice in the competition, Jovany Barreto.  Now, I may not have been a huge Jovany supporter, putting him fourth on my list, but I can appreciate a pure, controlled singing voice when I hear one.   Apparently, good voices are not what this competition is about.  So we also say goodbye to 11th grader Robbie Rosen, he of the pronounced proboscis, who has it all, talent, personality and a terrific voice.  What he didn't have is the judges shilling for him like some of the others and that, sadly, is the story so far this year.  The judges may change, but their manipulation stays the same.

Now, I'm not uniformly upset with America -- or the judges' -- choices.  It was particularly fun to say goodbye to Clint "No Chubby Boys in My Party" Gamboa and Jordan "Next!" Dorsey.  If you're unclear on the concept, boys, it's called Karma.  You put out mean stuff, you get bad stuff in return.  It's why Casey and Jacob are still in the competition -- that's Karma smacking me in the face.  Oh, and Clint, those glasses?  Not eccentric or cool, simply fugly.

The people did a little better with the women.  Lauren Alaina has been a frontrunner since day one and she's been consistently great, even when switching genres on me and going all country like she did Wednesday. I was a little shocked with the bait and switch, but she can sing in any genre.  And Pia's performance last night was worthy of all the judges' over-the-top fawning.  Since they were my top two last night, I'm feeling a little smug.  So this is how Casey Abrams feels all the time.  Nice.

What should I make of the fact that the first two moved on to the top ten are country singers?  I'm a little afraid.  Hold me.

Julie Zorilla said even if she's cut she'll be eternally grateful.  Wonder if she's still feeling that this morning.  If it were me, I'd be feeling a bit more "suck it America," but then I'm old and bitter.

Karen Rodriguez made it into the top ten over Kendra Chantelle.  They must have voted based on the earlier rounds, not last night.  But whatever, or cualquier, as Karen would say, because Latinos are back! 

Casey Abrams may be the only non-funny Jew in America (unless you haven't been at all amused by this post, in which case you can add my name to the list).  His idea of humor is to repeat what someone says to him.  So in answer to what does is feel like to be called sexy by a sex symbol like JLo he responded, I feel sexy.  I remember another Casey from last year who, even during the pressure of AI, always had a funny comeback.  Wonder whatever happened to him.

What was all that grunting and groaning when Casey and Jacob (and the later-departed Tim Halperin) were embraced in that giant bear hug?  So, even when they're not singing they make unpleasant noises.

If we were picking guys with unusual voices, I sure wish they'd gone with Brett Lowenstern over Paul McDonald.  I'm not sure I can deal with watching Paul's hair slowly disappear as the show goes on, it reminds me of David Cook's unfortunate 'do that was desperately trying to hang on to each last lock.

With screamer turned good singer James Durbin making it to the top ten, I was five for ten in my predictions.  Great for a major leaguer, not so great as AI predictions go.

Speaking of screaming, Ashthon does her best divaish take on the Dreamgirls belterriffic song.  Kendra nails the end of her song, showing she can knock it out with the best of them. 

Jovanny sings Angel like, well, an Angel.  Has there ever been such a pure voice as his on this show?  It's like polished glass.  I don't know why the judges didn't like him except for his voice doesn't match his stage presence.  He's just not as electric on stage as he needs to be.  JLo said it best when she said he did all he could do.  He sang great, but for some reason that's not enough.  Naima sang for her life and couldn't find the right notes if they hit her between the ears, but she has presence and star power, so that is enough.  Yes, Jovany, life is unfair.

Also unfair was the fall of early front-runner Julie Zorilla.  Gifted by god with looks and talent, how did she find herself on a one-way bus to join Janelle Wheeler in Who?ville.  She went quickly from the one to watch to the one we'll forget by next week.  It's even harder to say good bye to Lauren and Brett and Rachel and Tim.  The only upside for them is that they learn early that the music business is cruel and unfair and can now become cynical and bitter at a much younger age.

Robbie Rosen sings, Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word, and they do a closeup on Randy and his frozen half smile does not bode well for the high school junior.  Stefano Langone's vocals were equally strong, probably his best performance to date, and he has extra points in the cute department, so it's not a shocker when he's the judge's choice.  I don't get their other selections, Ashthon and Naima, and I would have taken both Robbie and Jovany over either of them.  But it's not up to me.  Yeah, I don't get why not either. 

I think this is an American Idol first -- no contestant from the Lone Star State.  That must violate some reality TV show rule.  But, really, how could they follow their representative from last year?  And, no, I'm not talking about Tim Urban.

So here's your top 13: Scotty McCreery, Lauren Alaina, Pia Toscano, Thia Megia, Stefano Langone, James Durbin, Haley Reinhart, Karen Rodriguez, Ashthon Jones, Paul McDonald, Jacob Lusk, Casey Abrams, and Naima Adedapo.  I have to somehow come to grips with the fact that my two favorites still in the running are both country singers.  This is not a pleasant turn of events.  I'm feeling a bit feverish and dizzy, maybe it'll pass.  Next week maybe they'll both sing a Metallica song.  See you then!

American Idol, Season 10 -- Top 12 Girls Compete

Only in the world of American Idol would switching from guys to girls mean less theatrics, histrionics and fewer diva-ish performances.  But with the number of guys who seem to be auditioning to be Jennifer Hudson's Dreamgirls understudy, let's hope the girls tonight can show some restraint and class.

Ta-Tynisa Wilson opens with “Only Girl” by Rihanna.  She's got great hair and she apparently stole the fluffy baby pageant dress that Lauren Alaina wore last time.  I really want to like her.  But her voice is grating.  She seems to be just off each note she's going for.  The judges argue about her performance and I'm sad to note that I'm in Randy's camp.  She was sharp and she's no Rihanna.  Is this the first sign of the apocalypse or is it okay to occasionally agree with the Dawg?

Naima Adedapo has some balls to tackle “Summertime” from Porgy and Bess.  One of the few indelible American Idol performances is Fantasia Barrino's powerful, emotional take on this old classic.  She goes for light-hearted, not touching, and it's a mixed bag.  Her vocals are impeccable.  She can sing!  But she misses the visceral connection that Fantasia found with the song.

Kendra Chantelle Campbelle sings “Impossible” by Christina Aguliera and I'm starting to wonder if this will be a girl's year.  She sounds amazing and looks great in her sexy Catwoman get up.  She goes for it -- big notes and all -- and is visually stunning, oozing slinky sexuality, while her vocals are equally red hot.  I was impressed.  Can't believe I put her on the bottom of my list last week.

Rachel Zevita is singing “Criminal” by Fiona Apple. Okay, so I was wrong.  She's not really singing so much as delivering the lyrics accompanied by the music.  And wrong, too, was I that we were done with Broadway.  Rachel is amping up the theatrics.  From doffing the cape to parading around with her apple red lipstick and 40's 'do, Rachel had the strut and swagger, as Steven said, but what happened with her vocals?  She was the great singer, operatically trained, and now she switched to a caricature of a lounge singer.  Not on the Strip, but in some rundown, downtown Vegas casino.  It was shockingly disappointing.

Como se dice, she doesn't sing very well?  No canta buena?  Oh, well, Karen Rodriguez is singing “Hero” in both Spanish and English, but her voice just isn't strong enough.  She's gorgeous and her last note was nice, but -- JLo's wow not withstanding -- that was just an average vocal.

Lauren Turner sings “Seven Day Fool" by Etta James and when she's finished with her rousing take on that song, JLo says she reminds her of Bette Midler.  Honey, you remind JLo of the Divine Miss M because you're slightly chunky and Jewish, not your voice.  We all look alike, apparently.  But even though she's no Bette, I think she did a terrific, exceedingly confident and entertaining, job!   I might be accused of hypocrisy, but I liked her bombastic take on this song.  It was exuberant and powerful.  She dominated the stage.  I liked her command of the stage and the song.

Next up is Ashthon Jones who is singing a song I'm unfamiliar with, “Love Over Me” by Monica.  Ashthon has been great and consistent to this point.  I'm not into the talking in the middle of the song ("You know what I'm talking about") and I really want to like her.  But, I have to be honest.  I'm a lawyer and not about to lose my bar card over a reality TV show blog.  This performances is not working for me.  Too screechy.  Her voice simply wasn't up for the challenge of the song.  What do the judges think?   Oh, no!  Again I'm agreeing with Randy.  Has he taken smart pills or am I losing it?

Is this the Miss American Pageant or American Idol?  Where's the sash?  Julie Zorilla is gorgeous, but she's no Kelly Clarkson.  She does fine with “Breakaway” but by no means will she put the original out of my mind.  I'm chalking it up to nerves since she's sounded so much better earlier in the competition.  She pulls out some nice notes by the end, but it was all-in-all much less than I expected or hoped for.

Haley Reinhart sings "Fallin” by Alicia Keys. Hasn't this song suffered enough? Who doesn't think they can sing it better than the original, only to find out that they end up...wait for it -- fallin'--short?  Well, to be fair, Haley doesn't fall, but neither does she soar.  It's okay, it would be a nice, safe performance were it not for the fact that only five girls will go through.  She apparently studied under the Scotty McCreery school of facial expressions and she mugs a bit too much to the camera.  Her voice is almost there, but just...doesn't make it all the way.

Fame is one of my favorite movies.  I don't know it it's as great as I think it is, or if I should consider it a guilty pleasure.  But one of the movie's musical highlights is Irene Cara's simple but haunting performance of "Out Here On My Own.”  Thia Megia had big shoes to fill and the song could have swallowed her up...but she was spellbinding from the first moment.  She did exactly what I hoped some girl would do, just sing, beautifully.  It was pitch perfect, rich and powerful. 

I did not see this one coming. I've been a fan of Lauren Alania from day one, but never would have put her name in the same sentence as one of the queens of country, Reba McIntyre. And yet there they are together as Lauren chose “Turn on the Radio” as her Top 24 song.  Lauren can sing anything.  She sounded great -- like an old pro and now someone who should be getting fitted for a retainer.  She looks like the missing third Judd sister and sounds just as good (as Wynonna, not Ashley -- who knows her country singers).

In the unfortunately named pimp spot comes Pia Toscano singing perennial wedding song, “I’ll Stand by You.”  That song is trite and corny and should be put out to pasture.  Yet here it is again and I don't hate it.  Because Pia is magical and can transform the cliched and make it sound fresh.  But first, a comment on the unfairness of life.  Pia Toscano is an utterly beautiful specimen.  Why does she also need to sing well?  Spread it around, Pia -- we need natural gift reallocation.  Let's get the socialists on this, forget about sharing the wealth.  I want to look or sound half as good as Pia!  This was an amazing performance, obliterating everything that came before it.  How will they get a top 5 with Pia getting every vote.  Even Rachel's gramma will be voting for Pia.

My Top 5:
Pia Toscano (shocker)
Lauren Alaina
Thia Megia
Lauren Turner
Kendra Chantelle

American Idol, Season 10 -- Top 12 Guys Compete

Having read some spoilers, and paid attention to the earlier rounds, I predict that there will be much mistreatment of notes, high octane histrionics and oversinging that would put a gospel diva to shame.  And this is just the boys singing.  The top 12 run the gamut from the tentative, breathy Paul McDonald to the straight arrow Scotty McCreery on one end of the performance spectrum to the dizzingly overwrought heights of James Durbin and Jacob Lusk.  Which will the judges prefer and, more significantly, which will grab the attention of the important tween girl voting bloc.  I can promise you now it won't be Lusk.

Opening up the night's festivities with a passable performance of Stevie Wonder's Superstition is resident bad guy, the Jacee dissing, Clint Jun Gamboa.   We get the ironic backstory, he's a karaoke singer who's on Idol.  And suddenly I miss Simon.  Clint starts the screechfest in loud, uncontrollably exuberant fashion, trying to set the annoyance bar extra high tonight.  It was loud and on key, but not something I'd ever want to hear again.  But it might be good to scare away bears, should I ever find myself under ursine attack.

Did you know Jovany worked in a shipyard?  He's singing I'll Be and it's a nice change of pace from the last performance.  He has such a sweet, pure voice.  He knows how to sing a song and respect the melody.  Thank you, it now seems like a lost art.  I wonder, though, will that be memorable enough.  Oh, hell, there goes Randy.  Karaoke.  Yeah, singing well is so passe, so trite. 

Poor Jordan Dorsey does the impossible, taking on Usher's OMG.  No, just no.  Usher is inimitable, there's no way to withstand comparison.  Poor Jordan tries his hardest and looks comfortable on stage and makes a great visual impression, but the vocals just...weren't...there.  Ouch.  Jordan tries to bail immediately, seeing if agreeing with the judges will be enough to get him through...but there are only five spots for the guys, so it's less than unlikely that he will get a second chance.

Tim Halperin was an unknown quantity until he burst forward during Beatles week.  Until then, he was known as the guy who asked JLo her age, thereby ensuring he would never get the vote of anyone over 40.  But will his voice save him from that fate?  Not based on the first few notes.  The musicians are doing their best to make sure we can't possible hear Tim and now he's fighting against them. But, wait, there are horns and backgrounds singers.  Their effort to drown him out is a success!  Yay.  Because what I can hear, is droning and bland. To call it a subpar performance would be overly positive.  It was not even up to the level of an average wedding singer.  Really poor performance.

Brett Lowenstern is memorable just for his mass of flaming red hair.  Brett, perhaps in an homage to his fiery locks, takes on Light My Fire.  His hair gets a ten, his voice a three.  Maybe two.  He's shouting and not even shouting well.  His voice is weak, barely on key and does nothing to sell the song.   All that was unique and interesting in his voice is gone.  Of course, the judges, realizing what a train wreck they're seeing, decide to pimp him just a little in case the rest of the guys keep up the suckage.

Now, one of the two moments we've all been waiting for.  The Adam Lambert wannabe with an unending supply of bandannas is up.  James Durbin is rocking out to You Got Another Thing Coming by Judas Priest.  But, wait, this doesn't blow.  Maybe because I knew the high notes were coming, but I liked his voice in the rest of the song and the rock star vocal posturing actually didn't bother me.  Two thumbs up!  He's a natural rocker -- just stay away from the show tunes, dude, and you may go very far!

Good thing we had a commercial break, because I wouldn't want to follow James, especially with a ballad.  But Robbie Rosen doesn't have to worry about comparisons.  He takes on Sarah MacLaughlan's Arms of an Angel and sings like, well, an angel.  He has a sweet, emotionally charged voice that  conveys feelings belying his young age.  So, of course, Randy hates it.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I don't like country music.  But I love me some Scotty McCreery.  And so do apparently the screaming teens in the audience who have been relatively quiet until now.  I think it's called Letters from Home and Randy says it's by John Michael Montgomery, but this is all a foreign area to me.  But whatever it is and wherever it comes from, it's good and so is Scotty.  He's cute, he sings well, even the high notes.  He's ready to record, right now. 

Stefano Langone is up next trying to tackle Just the Way You are, but he seems off the melody, as if he and the band have started from a different place.  Stefano is no Bruno Mars.  This was a train wreck.  I'd say car wreck, but since he survived one just a couple years ago I don't want to be insensitive.  You know what a caring soul I am, especially during my Idol blogs.  It would never occur to me to say that he should go back to his hotel, pack up his clothes and leave -- he will not be America's Next Top Model.

There is so much buzz around Paul McDonald I assume he's full of honey.  I have not been on the Paul train and his shout out to TV Land is not going to help.  But, wait, it gets worse.  That may have been the singularly most painful performance of a great song ever.  What was that?  The big grin, the weird movements, the over the top mugging for the camera, the pale comparison to Rod Stewart?  I'm so not digging him. 

Jacob Lusk is the judges' favorite.  They make sure to remind us of this before he sings.  He has sung better than anyone ever had ever in the history of singing and the rest of us are not even worthy of hearing his dulcet tones.  He has been bombastic and over-the-top, pushing his voice louder, higher, farther each time he takes the stage?  So what will he do for a change?  He takes on another overwrought singer's song, A House is Not a Home.  A song that cries out for delicacy and restraint.  Well, keep crying, because you're going to get none of that.  Just more GLEE-rific how many runs can I do?  He has compulsion to do more than is necessary to sing a song.  And with the judges telling him the want more and more, that's what we're going to get.  This is not current, this is not anything that you will hear on the radio, this is not the future of music.  It's campy and dramatic, but it's not going to bring the music business back from the brink.

Now it is the guy who will cure cancer with just his voice...at least according to the judges.  Casey Abrams is only slightly more in love with himself than the judges are.  I will run out of ways to say smug before this competition is over.  He's 99% attitude, 1% singing.  I don't know what show he thinks he's trying out for, but if their goal down the line is to find a current recording artist, this ain't the guy.  It would be a standout performance at your local High School talent show, even if it's mostly smoke and mirrors.  He looks like what he's doing should be amazing, and somehow he makes you believe it.  But not me, I'm impervious to his voodoo powers!  The growling, the talking, it's unique and interesting -- but not the sound of a future recording star.  And it's way too calculated and cute for me to buy it. 

My top five tonight -- James, Scotty, Jovany, Robbie and....Clint.  What say you?

American Idol, Season 10 -- Episode 12, Naming the Top 24

So many reality TV shows have their own signature way to say goodbye to a contestant.  One of my favorite moments of How I Met Your Mother was when Barney Stinson, apparently an avid reality TV watcher, ran through the list of all the ways you could tell someone to take a hike:

You are the weakest link, goodbye. Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art didn't work for us. Your time's up. I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped. You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your dessert just didn't measure up. Sashay away. Give me your jacket and leave Hell's Kitchen. I'm sorry, you did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen.

If there is one thing missing from American Idol, it is the lack of a signature kiss-off line.  Tonight, eleven contestants will be sent packing with an apology, an explanation, some comforting words and perhaps a tear or two.  But no catch phrase.  Let's see.  Exit, stage right?  Your microphone has been unplugged?  No stool for you?  We'll have to work on this.

It doesn't look like Jennifer Lopez is up to bringing down the axe on anyone else, but those are the rules.  Now, I know a lot of you think she's faking all this concern.  But, honestly, we all know she's just not that good an actress.   

First up is Karen Rodriguez, who can sing well in two languages.  I don't why that impresses me, but it does.  Possibly because I'd like to sing as well in just one.  She was the MySpace auditioner, proving that the internet is not all bad.  Where else could you be contacted by a Nigerian prince?  With her good looks, mature, solid vocals and consistency, I'd be shocked if she isn't getting good news. No shock here, she's in, and very enthusiastic about it!  She even gets the lift and spin of victory after leaving the room!

Robbie Rosen sang Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word as his "sing for your life" song.  It was not an ironic choice.  His angelic, painfully beautiful voice is not hearing "sorry" any time soon.  What he does to a song should be against the law, or at least kept away from small children.  It's too provocative, too intimate. He has such command over his voice, he can make it do whatever he wants so effortlessly.  Can you tell I'm a fan?

Tatynisa is up next and she's had a bumpy ride to the top 40.  But they must have seen something in her and she is cute as a button, for what it's worth.  So possibly on that alone, she's in the top 24. 

I am reminded that I did not like Tim Halperin during his audition.  Not just because of his unfortunate facial hair, but because of what I thought was a snarky comeback to JLo when she asked his age.  For the record, men, replying, "What's yours?" is never the right choice.  His final song is ... okay.  It was an original which is risky at best, suicidal at worst.  He has a nice sounding voice, but this was his shot to nail it and it was a tad sleepy.  So, that of course means...he's in the top 24!  After killing it in Vegas with that beautiful duet on Something, I'm not surprised!

His equally gifted partner in that performance, Julie Zorilla, has it all.  Voice, looks, she plays the piano, her skin is flawless and she dresses cute. They worry she may not have the emotion, the feeling to connect with an audience.  Because, what audience will connect with a gorgeous, multi-talented young woman?  Oh, all of them?  Yeah, she's in.

They pit the two cowboys against each other which strikes me as unfair. It's Scotty McCreery v. John Wayne Schulz.  Ryan asks them if they're worried if there's room for both and while they say they're not concerned, it's clear they should be.  It sure is feeling like an either-or proposition.  Scotty, like, Tatynisa, had blown the group round in Hollywood, stumbling over then adlibbing the lyrics to his song, but was allowed to move on.  His final song was really country, with references to trains and, I'm sure if he sang more, there'd be dogs and guns, oh, yep, there it is, there's the lord!  He's adorable, I'll admit it.  I can see him being hugely popular if even I like him.  And, yes, Scotty's in the top 24.

But, sadly, he'll be our only country guy as John Wayne Schulz is out. 

Next is Jovany Barreto, who sounds better than he did during Hollywood week.  Very pristine, clear voice.  Nice, very nice.  In case you forgot, he was the guy who took his shirt off for no apparent reason.  After he had the golden ticket.  Comparisons to Casey James came to mind, naturally, and so it was curious that Ryan tonight used the same line in reference to Jovany that he did last year after Casey made the top 24.  "Now he's in your hands, America."  Curious.

Lauren Turner auditioned in New Orleans and she's faded since then.  But my handy dandy spoiler list from Joe's Place Blog says the unmemorable one made it, and she does.  No more cleaning other people's messes for this former maid.  Hmm, maybe JLo felt a connection because she once played a maid?  Boy, this would have been the year to audition if your name was Gigli. 

Rachel Zevita, who had made it far, but not far enough, in Season 6, is nervous about hearing the verdict from the judges.  She shouldn't be.  Her voice is so unique, so memorable, so polished, they're lucky to have her.  She showed a totally different side of her vocals in her last song, went way over the top, her desperation to make it almost palpable.  It worked, and she's in.  I question the crying with no tears, but I do feel her shock was genuine.  I hope she stays around for a while and always brings grandma with her.  However studied her granddaughter may be, that lady was real!

I remember thinking Kendra Chantelle Campbell had a sweet voice and did a nice job on Blackbird.  She's pretty and, until she was goosed in the middle of her final song, she has a strong, radio-friendly voice.  I worry she may be a bit bland, there's nothing yet that stands out about her.  But I do like her little trick on Ryan, giving him the disappointed, kiss off explanation before coming out with the great news!  She's in.

Jordan Dorsey started his final song flat and it hurt my ears.  It did not improve from there.  So why do I fear I'll be seeing -- and hearing -- more from him?  Jordan skates over the issue of his petulant, superior behavior during Hollywood week, but then being a singer is about singing, right, not being a mensch?  So he'll be around for at least another week to show everyone how it's done.

I have loved Lauren Alaina's voice since her audition and every time I've seen her since there, she's blown me away.  And it just occurred to me that she's actually younger than my daughter!  She's just a baby, with such a powerful, confident voice.  How does this happen?  I guess that's why it's called a gift.  However, as gifted as she is vocally, she is confused sartorially as her outfit is psycho cowgirl on crank.

Stefan Langone overcame a horrible car accident and now faces a tougher challenge, singing an original song that appeared to lack any melody whatsoever.  But he does have a unique sound, using a higher register than a lot of the male (and many of the female) contestants.  As long as he sticks with covers, he should be fine.

Jackie Wilson had one of the strongest voices during the audition round, but she apparently fell a little short during her last performance.  She's not taking the news that she did not make the top 24 well, as she is suspicious, as I am, that it's based on something other than her vocals.  But, sadly, TV is a visual medium.

Jacob Lusk makes me want to throw my TV out the window, but it's a really nice TV and a lot bigger than I am, so I'll have to settle for the mute button.  Oh, now he's done it!  He took one of my favorite songs, A Song for You, and destroyed it -- in a bad way.  Not in the "you killed it" way, but in the, "what did that song ever do to you" way.  Leon Russell should sue.  But the judges do not hear what I do.  They still are talking about his overwrought God Bless the Child performance like the second coming and I worry about their ears and their sanity.  It was an indulgent, unnecessarily over-the-top performance that was a bad SNL skit come to life.  The Khmer Rouge did less damage than he just did.  Awful, simply awful.

How can I go on when my faith in humanity has been put to the test like that?  I'll try to pick myself up.  Pia Toscano has renewed my hope.  Oh, this is what singing well sounds like.  She's already crying, probably because Jacob made it, which means someone great won't.  But Pia, you will!!

Now it's James Durbin, whose Tourette and Asberger combination makes him need to sing like Adam Lambert at every possible opportunity. Hide the wine glasses, he's about to sing at the shatteringly high range only he can find.  Dogs across America prick up their ears.  But you apparently need a shrieker ever year, so James is in.

Two spots left for the guys, but just four guys left, including judges' favorite Casey Abrams.  He is more of a lock than Rahm Emanuel was on Tuesday.  Casey's got a jazzy, too-cool-for-school vibe, that rubs me the wrong way, but apparently makes the judges all warm and gooey.  I want to put my foot through his face.  Why do people who sing jazz seem so arrogant to me?  It's like they're saying, yeah, I could just sing a melody, but that's for slackers.  Let me riff for an hour, to show how awesome I am.

Jessica Cunningham is having a birthday.  It's her seventh time trying out for American Idol and she's gotten this far, but no further, before.  Did I mention she's having a birthday and she's vying for the last remaining spot with Thia Megia, who has one of the best voices in the competition?  Yeah, this is not going to be a birthday to remember.  Jessica will be known for the rest of the night as American Idol bubble girl for the giant AI logos used to cover the middle fingers she was giving the judges after she learned of her fate.  Thia has a muted celebration.

There are three guys left, but only one spot.  Jacee Badeaux, Brett Lowenstern and Colton Dixon.  All have great voices.  Jacee is just a babe, fifteen, but a young fifteen.  He has a sweet voice, which cracks slightly during his last performance.  Brett has a really different sound.  He sang an original song, which is risky, but I think the risk paid off.  It showcases his range and quirkiness.  I remember being blown away by Colton during Hollywood week and as I hear him tonight, I think this is a tremendous voice.  One of the best of any guy I've heard.  All three deserve a spot, but it goes only to Brett.  Which would explain the Tweet I saw from Colton earlier.  He's fine and will keep going, so follow him here.  Jacee is young and his voice will only improve as he matures. 

So we have our top 24, which I list here from my favorite to my least:

Guys                                                      Girls          
Robbie Rosen                                        Lauren Alaina


Tim Halperin                                         Julie Zorilla


Brett Lowenstern                                 Rachel Zevita


Jovany Barreto                                     Ashthon Jones


Scotty McCreery                                  Karen Rodriguez


Casey Abrams                                      Naima Adedapo


Stefano Langone                                   Pia Toscano


Clint Jun Gamboa                                 Thia Megia


Paul McDonald                                     Tatynisa Wilson


James Durbin                                        Lauren Turner


Jordan Dorsey                                       Haley Reinhart


Jacob Lusk                                            Kendra Campbell


Guys will go next Tuesday, girls will follow on Wednesday, results on Thursday.  See you then!