American Idol Season 10, Top 5 Compete

With just three weeks left in the competition there are many unanswered questions.   No, not who will win.  No one cares and it doesn't matter.  I'm talking about the really important ones.  Like, how many more times will judge Steven Tyler call a contestant's performance beautiful?  How many more times will we be able to hear Randy Jackson name drop someone in the music industry or tell us that someone is in it to win it?  Will we ever see Jennifer Lopez actually write on the piece of paper she always seems to refer to during her critiques? 

The theme for tonight is very wide open -- one current song, one older song.  So song choice should not be a factor as basically everything outside of the eighties and nineties is fair game.  Sadly this means, no "So Emotional" and no "I Believe I can Fly" -- both which would have been right up Jacob Lusk's alley.

Tonight's mentor is Sheryl Crow and, I have to say, she sounded better singing along with the contestants than I've heard her before.  Wasn't much of a fan, but maybe I should give her another listen.  Or maybe this shows just how average the contestants are that we've been building up in our minds the past couple of months?

James Durbin is hitting lead-off with "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars.  He was excited about singing with Sheryl and it seemed the feeling was more than mutual as she said, "I got to sing with James. I can officially retire now."  I thought it was because he was so good, which he has been in every other performance since we first met him in San Francisco.  But tonight was an utter and complete vocal disaster.  Even in rehearsal he was way off -- sharp, flat, and missing notes in new and inventive ways.

Jimmy Iovine knows nothing about dramatic irony a la Mark Burnett, or he never would have sent James off with the assurance that "I don't think anything can get between him and greatness tonight."  Nothing except your jinxing him!!!  Dude.  You're on a reality show.   You say something like that, James had no option but to fall flat (and sharp) on his face.  I happen to love this song and I thought it would be perfect for James.  But literally from the first note you could tell it was time to brace yourself for a really hard landing.  His voice was weak and all over the place, like a drunk kitten on a trampoline.  When he got to the chorus, he was exhausted from running around the crowd and it showed in his weak and painfully bad vocals.

But what did the judges say after this  mix of the Titanic meets the Hindenburg?  Steven said "beautiful," JLo said "we're feeling it, grab it, take it" (whatever that means) and Randy just had to let us know how cool he is that he's heard of 30 Seconds to Mars and knows who their lead singer is (possibly the hottest man on the planet...discuss).  Wow Randy, you're just so in the know!  Oh, and did you know the James is in it to win it?

I checked with my 30 Seconds to Mars expert and this is what she said, "I listened to 6 seconds.  My ears are bleeding.  He should be sent to prison for this.  I think what he did is illegal in at least 35 states."  So there you go!  Personally, I'm wondering if those pills that Kate Winslet took in "Eternal Sunshine" to help her forget are available because I don't want to ever think back on that performance. 

Next up is new Vote for the Worst favorite Jacob Lusk.  Now that Osama bin Laden has been killed, perhaps we can use our special forces to try and locate who is voting for this guy.  How come every time he speaks I think of that "Hercules, Hercules" moment from the Nutty Professor, as if done by Kermit the Frog?  He's singing "No Air" by Jordin Sparks/Chris Brown.  Of course, Miss Judy/Liza takes the Jordin part, in all his screechy, pitchy awfulness.   

The only other time I've heard sounds like that was on the Discovery Channel and I don't recall if they were coyotes or bobcats, but they were in a vicious fight and on the losing end.  JLo is happy he picked this song and she loves the direction he's going in on his way to the top 3, uh, 2, uh, the finale.  Oops.  Meanwhile Randy disagrees and thinks it's probably not the best choice for a solo artist to sing a duet.  Especially if you're going to sound awful in either voice.  He's not feeling Jacob as a pop artist and invokes Luther Vandross' name like a mystical incantation to ward off evil singing.  Steven says Jacob needs to find a niche and doesn't seem to worry at all that it's near the end of the competition and the judges are still arguing about what kind of a singer Jacob will be.  I know...unsigned.

But wait, the debate is not over, now Jacob weighs in.  He goes combative and shows that unpleasant side that told us all to go look at ourselves in the mirror and he's arguing that he could sing the Carpenters and be current.  The Carpenters?  Just how out of touch is he?

Lauren Alaina comes along on her white horse to come save the show.  She sings like her life depends on it (which after the tepid responses from the judges recently, it might) and wows with a Carrie Underwood song, "Flat on the Floor."  Finally, the Lauren from Hollywood week is back.  She had energy and enthusiam and confidence.  It was fantastic.

Randy thinks she's in it...then he stops.  Well, he's right.  Even Jacob, until he's booted tomorrow (spoiler alert) is in it.  I think he was going to complete the expression until he got a sign from the producers that they're no longer backing Lauren so he should hold off on too much praise.  And you barely see the strings being pulled.  Steven uses niche in a sentence again, but this time in a positive way showing just how versatile he is as a judge and a linguist.  JLo loved her and told her all she needs to do is be perfect like that every week.  No pressure. 

Scotty McCreery was up next with Montgomery Gentry’s “Gone."  In rehearsal everything seems great and on stage it is.  Now, I'm pretending I like country music for the purposes of this recap.  I'll imagine that I like twangy, drawly, good-ol'-boy songs with a fairly simple melody that don't require too much of the singer.  Scotty comes alive tonight.  He is all over the stage, as if filling the vacuum left by both Paul McDonald and Casey Abrams.  Listening to the performance was quite different than actually seeing it with all the distracting facial expressions and mugging for the audience.  Yes it was cheesy, but it fit the song and fit his age.  He is too young to stand still awkwardly holding a mic and I prefer him hamming it up. 

The judges heap praise on him, Steven stammering something about dancing with the devil which, of course, is a good thing in his book (the book, 101 Things to Do With the Devil) and he invokes the "beautiful" word that we've missed hearing for every single review.  JLo says she lost it, whatever it was and Randy says Scotty's in it ... wait for it... to win it. 

Last up is Haley Reinhart and she is singing an unreleased Lady Gaga song, "You and I."  Because Jimmy has pull.  He's Italian and can get things done, capisce?  But is doing a song only people who've gone to Gaga's concerts (which is roughly a third of the population, but still) have heard risky?  Did the risk pay off?   Depends on who you ask.  At first, I thought she was doing a Jason Mraz song, which might explain the "unreleased" part.  Haley tries her best, she puts a nice bluesy spin on the pop diva's song.  But the pitchy gremlin who's been wrecking havoc tonight bops her on the head and she veers off at times.

There's no question Haley can sing, but the song really didn't do her any favors.  JLo agrees with me!  Should I worry??  More importantly, should Haley worry that JLo just said she didn't come out like James and Scotty did??  Oh no, Randy agrees too.  And he apparently doesn't think Haley is in it...for any reason.  Steven says she's just one perfect song away from being the American Idol.  Wow, that's going to make song selection very relaxing if she's here next week.

Then it's time for the singers to hop into the Way Back Machine and sing something from before CDs, illegal downloading, and Autotune -- all things that have conspired to kill music (admit it, your old LPs sound infinitely better than your new CDs). 

James Durbin sings Harry Nilsson's "Without You" and he was an emotional wreck singing the song during rehearsal and it carried over to his teary, shaky performance that took away from the vocals.  I appreciate the sincerity and feeling, but oh how I wish Simon were here just to suggest that falling apart on stage is a bit self-indulgent.  But, don't get me wrong, I'm still a James fan and there were a few really sweet notes that he hit in this song that reminded me why.   Everyone's entitled to an off night.  but it's a little risky to have it when you're singing first and there are only five contestants left.

Seriously, before tonight did you know there was a band named Nazareth?  Me either.  They did that song that we had heard before, "Love Hurts," which is monotonous and whiny.  But not when Sheryl sang it!  So guess what we're going to get from Jacob?  Well, the whiny came first, followed by the shrieky, but the monotonous was close behind.  When he goes for those low notes, I just want to help remove the phelgm that's choking the notes.  As the song goes on, Jacob becomes possessed. to the point that by the last note he just starts randomly making sounds until finishing off calling in the neighborhood dogs. 

Not having to better her first performance was Lauren Alaina who decided to do the Simon Cowell Memorial Favorite Song of All Time, "Unchained Melody."  Maybe it should be called, Untuned Melody.   Get it?  Since she was off key at the beginning.  She eventually pulled it together and it was fine, I even enjoyed her falsetto, but I wasn't digging the growly finish.  I swear, Casey Abrams casts one hell of a shadow, we have people running around on stage and others growling, I just need teeth gritting menace.  Oh wait, Hannibal Lecter is in the audience.  Score!

Scotty sings "Always on my Mind" and I'm reminded that Willie Nelson is an amazing singer who is so unconventional, so wrong, he's right.  This is not the right song for Scotty.  Possibly it's a mistake for someone who could call Justin Bieber "Pops" to sing a song with that much intensity, longing and passion.  Putting aside that he couldn't sell the message, he also went off key in places and when he wasn't flat, he was boring.  Even grandma couldn't come up with anything good to say when, after prompting from Ryan Seacrest, all she said was, "He's my Scotty."  Very cagey grandma.

Haley's wrapping it up with The Animals' "House of the Rising Sun."  It's a great song and there isn't a snowball's chance in Sacramento in the summer that any judge will ever say wrong song choice.  She starts a capella and the concept was eerie and cool, but Haley's high notes are not working for me.  If I had one of those rating dials I'd have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome by now, turn to the right for the lower notes, which are a mixture of honey and whiskey, smooth and a little dangerous.  When she sings the middle part of the song, she nails it.  But then it's back down to the left with the dial for the high, piercing notes.  Haley has a great voice, but she needs to learn its strengths as well as its limitations.  But it was an electrifying performance on a night that was up for grabs and I can see Haley as the new front runner.

No bottom/top this week... Jacob is going.  James has a huge fan base and has been so great up till tonight's stumble, so he's not going anywhere despite his unfortunate first performance.  For the record, I checked the iTunes version and it sounded pretty good. 

That's all folks!

NBC's The Voice -- Episode 2

The first episode of this new entry into the reality TV talent show genre was unexpectedly great.  The four coaches showed a lot of personality and the talent was seriously stellar.  Only the personality-less Carson Daly (making one wish for a Dunkleman comeback) cast a shadow over an otherwise bright debut.  Could tonight's second episode of The Voice measure up?

Well, yes and no.  The judges were still adorable in their bickering.  But the quality of the talent did not reach the levels of the first week...in fact, there was not one contestant chosen by all four coaches.  Meanwhile, Carson apparently took some lessons from the Chris Harrison-Ryan Seacrest handbook and learned how to deliver the "shocking rose ceremony/results" type intro with just enough faux intensity and concern. 

So first up is Melinda Doolittle, a background vocalist who wants to step out of the shadows and... what?  Oh, nevermind. It's Cherie Oakley, a background vocalist who wants to step out of the shadows and into the spotlight.  She decides to lasso her aspirations to a Miranda Lambert song, even though the only country music coach up there just happens to be ... let's delicately say intimately familiar with the original artist. 

I think she does a good job with Gunpowder & Lead.  I'm not jumping up and down (which I would only do metaphorically since otherwise it would look really weird), but I think she had a decent enough voice and a good stage presence.  Not surprising, since he doesn't want to sleep on the couch after this episode airs, Blake Shelton passes.  But Christina hits her buzzer at the last moment, just as Cherie is ratcheting up the histrionic, over-the-top flourishes to near Aguilera-like proportions.  Once again, Cee Lo was sad to see he passed on a cutie.

The next guy, a Kevin Corvais doppelganger -- did this show want so many American Idol comparisons?-- says it's either be a singer or go to med school. When asked where the med school idea came from Devon Barley says his dad, Dr. Barley.  Oh, that's sweet, his dad is a doctor, maybe a heart specialist or a brain surgeon, maybe an ENT.  Wait, what was that?  He's a chiropractor?  Yeah, I can see why his son would want to try singing instead. 

So Devon sings the catchy "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz and he has a smaller obstacle to overcome since, as far as we know, no one is currently involved with Mraz.  Devon has a nice throaty, breathy quality when he sings that could be cool. But when he goes for the big notes, he can't back them up.  The guy needs to eat his Wheaties...bulk up a little.  Barry Bonds, you're a buff guy, what would you suggest?  What's that stuff that makes your head grow?  Don't worry, there's no steroid testing in music -- primarily because only Henry Rollins would be under suspicion.

Still, two people buzz in for him, Adam Levine and Cee Lo Green, and though there's not as much hard core campaigning as last week, Adam does give him enough love to make the choice easy.

The next one up is Joshua Scott Hand.  He thinks he's hysterical because he speaks slowly, in an exaggerated fashion, and uses obvious physical gestures to try and sell what he thinks are jokes.  At first I have no idea what he's singing...until he gets to the chorus and I can finally make out it's Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi."  Not a good sign.  There's putting your own twist on a song and there's singing so poorly that the song is unrecognizable.  He falls into the latter category and is gone. 

Raquel Castro is 16 years old, but when she talks she sounds even younger. She nervous about singing in front of her idol, Xtina, but she's a tough Jersey girl so she's going to soldier on.  She sings "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis and the nervousness is apparent at first...she can barely catch her breath.  She's hardly singing at first, but by the time she gets to the chorus (which, for the record, is really monotonous and annoying) she gets stronger.  She starts belting her little heart out, going after notes whether or not they fit the song or are in her range, but it works and Christina turns around. 

Emily Valentine from Hollywood is next.  We don't get to see her at first, so we can play along with the judges.  But we're given a few hints by her saying that people who judge her by her appearance end up surprised, so we know something's up.   She sings Pink’s “Sober" and it's one of those great songs that would make almost anyone sound good.  So when she does some runs at the end of the first verse that are so off key it acutually makes me wince, I think she's not going to make it.  But, with the lesson of this show (and American Idol, I'm looking at you Lee DeWyze) being "tone" is more important than "pitch," two of the four judges choose her.  Welcome to the Autotune age!

When we see her she's very blond, a slightly less attractive Gwen Stefani, but cute.  And covered in tattoos.  There's a little battle for her, even with Christina pointing out the obvious problems with staying on or anywhere near key, and Cee Lo and Blake Shelton vie for her affection.  Blake uses the argument that he likes her more since he buzzed in first, but like every other overly enthusiastic suitor, he is rejected for the guy who seemed less desperate, who needed a little more convincing.  So she goes with Cee Lo.

We are quickly informed that Cee Lo also gets Niki Dawson, who sang Katy Perry's Teenage Dream, while Blake was the only one who picked Sara Oromchi who sings (well, from what little I can hear), John Lennon's "Imagine."  Either these two girls don't get to voting rounds, or The Voice is also copying the idea of producers' manipulation from American Idol.

Tim Mahoney is one of those contestants that the show will remind us repeatedly "is what this show is all about," meaning he's at the age where he probably needs reading glasses, he's not super attractive and has been trying in vain for longer than most of the viewers have been alive to make it in the music business. It's a sad, but not at all uncommon story.  And it begs the question, how long do you keep chasing your dream?

He sings “Bring it on Home to Me," originally sung by Sam Cooke. His voice is passable, and I fear he's going to be disappointed, then Adam buzzes in, rather quickly.  Adam makes a face when he turns around as if what he is seeing isn't what he was expecting.  That's the premise of the show, dude.  No one else buzzes in, which was not surprising as there was nothing unique or memorable about the performance (except for how unattractive his hat was...that may stay with me for a while).  Funny thing. Turns out, Adam thought Tim was a chick.  That's why he hit his buzzer so fast....that was a cool sound to be coming out of a girl. Not so much a guy who was born before the Watergate scandal.

But the two of them will be a match made in heaven since both of them sing like girls but have penises, which Adam was nice enough to point out for all of us, not unlike Boy George and Cher.  So after some more discussion about male genitalia, they finally figure out there's not much to talk about as Tim has no choice to make.  He's on Team Levine.  Good luck with that one, Adam.

Julia Eason sings Duffy's song "Mercy" and I realize that I used to think it was an Amy Winehouse song.  Anyone else?  Julie is really cute and she has an okay voice, but it sounds so much better because of the song.  I'm thinking in the future they should have the contestants sing their ABC's or Happy Birthday or The Star Spangled Banner or something else that no one sounds good singing.  Cee Lo and Xtina both love her...and I'm not getting it.

The next contestant to make the Miranda Lambert faux pas is Angela Wolff.  She sings the future Mrs. Shelton's “The House That Built Me" and unless she was able to make a blind person see or Christina's roots come in blond, she was not making it out of the audition alive. 

Next is Tyler Robinson from Folsom, California.  Blake Shelton humorously claims to have never heard of the city that's home to the famous prison that even more famous Johnny Cash sang about famously.   So, Tyler is gay and out on national TV but not out to his dad.  Maybe his dad is a Luddite and he'll never know.  Or maybe he's watching Dancing With the Stars and has something to tell his son, too. 

Tyler commits a bigger crime than wearing that really unattractive jacket -- he sings Train's "Hey Soul Sister."  In the chat room tonight it was agreed that there is no such thing as a good version of that song (and I tried to pimp Street Corner Symphony's version to no avail).  Blake has a momentary seizure which causes his hand to involuntarily attack big round red things and suddenly this not really talented guy without much talent is on his team.  Thank goodness for cuts!

Next up is a big hairy teddy bear from Austin, Texas named Nakia who is also gay and also ballsy...he sings Cee Lo's "Forget You."  This apparently isn't the poison that a Miranda Lambert song is and Cee Lo and Blake both want him.  I'm not surprised.  While he may not have the best voice I've ever heard, he has presence and personality in abundance.  He's a showman with a good enough voice.  Blake makes an unfortunate joke trying to dissuade from going with Cee Lo, saying that he dresses like a peacock.  Not exactly something will turn off a gay guy.  I'm just sayin'.  Not at all surprisingly, the immensely entertaining Nakia goes with Cee Lo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAXuP7p6RHE

We quickly learn of two other selections -- a girl named Serabee who sang “Son of a Preacher Man" and was picked by Blake and the stereotyped "goth-rocker" chick Casey Desmond who performed Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way."  Was it just me, or did Adam's, "you're mine, awesome" to Casey not seem all that enthusiastic?  Was it the flaming read hair, the unfortunately heavy handed blush or the neon green eyeshadow that discouraged him?  Justin Grennan sang Train's "Drops of Jupiter" and was picked by Christina as her team's first male member.  That's right, I said it.

There was a quick medley of people who didn't make it, complete with some tears from Christina. 

Dia Frampton is nervous as she's about to sing Colbie Caillat's "Bubbly."  She sings about two lines and Blake hits his buzzer.  Apparently he's really excited to hear a girl not singing a Miranda song.  Dia's voice is quirky, but not in a cool way.  I don't know if it's just nerves, but she's all over the place. She starts doing various vocal flourishes that make is sound like she's gagging or choking.  She has a weird vibrato and an odd falsetto...so of course, she gets two coaches' votes!  But they're rewarded because she's cute as a button.  She has to pick between Cee Lo (who may need to stop off at the Human Resources office to pick up the sexual harrassment pamphlet) and the spoken-for Blake and she wisely chooses Blake. 


Curtis Grimes wears a cowboy cat and is singing "Hillbilly Bone" by...uh oh...Blake Shelton. Will he be as overly protective of his own music, as he is Miranda's?  Curtis says, "If Blake doesn't push the button for me, I'm going to run up there and push it for him."  Foreshadowing, party of one?  Well, I don't know the original, but this is really sleepy.   He's singing all the notes just fine and he has a nice country twang, but there is no electricity at all in his performance.  It's just blaht.  Cee Lo gives his a mercy push...and Blake doesn't touch his.

Blake explains what was missing from the performance -- cockiness.  That makes sense.  So while agreeing that Curtis can sing well, he didn't think he had the intensity for the song.  I actually agree with him, I think the Curtis-Cee Lo  pairing may be brilliant. Curtis has the voice, he just needs the swagger and maybe Cee Lo can help him find that.

The last to audition are the Thompson Twins...well, actually, they're sisters Tori and Taylor Thompson and close in age, but not twins.  Close enough.  They sing the Sugarland hit "Stuck Like Glue" and do a terrific job, especially on their harmonies.  And they're cute, and one is brunette and one is blonde, and they're confident on stage.  Watching the coaches as they slowly figure out it's two singers, not one, is priceless.  But it looks like our pig farming sisters are heading back to the farm until Cee Lo comes to the rescue!  After they all turn around, suddenly everyone is all positive.  I don't know what their hesitation was.  I think Cee Lo will have fun with this group.

So that's the last competitor so goodbye, we'll see you next week. What?  Oh, not everyone has a full roster.  Whaaaaat?  In fact, Adam only has six contestants he needs two more!  So they decide to give some of the contestants they passed on a second chance to make a more tuneful first impression.  For some, that means a second rejection which means that any effort to come up with a non-hurtful excuse for their failure is now out the window.  You didn't pick the wrong song, were too nervous, were too similar in style to someone else, you sucked.  Ouch.  Althought Sonia Rao takes it very well.  Kudos to her parents for raising her with enough confidence that the Entertainment Industry BS doesn't get her down!! 

But not experiencing this double blow is Lily Elise who had made Christina cry earlier.  She starts out singing lower than I would think was possible, unless she borrowed Tim's penis and does a decent job with Alicia Keys' "If I Ain't Got You" and they're both all excited that Christina "got her back."

Jared Blake singins "Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks and I love his voice.  Great raspy, Hootie-ish sound.  Blake pickes him and is genuinely happy, saying "I got my guy."

Adam is the last to fill his team and unless a hermaphrodite is auditioning, will he find anyone he relates to?  Casey Weston sings "Stupid Boy" by Keith Urban and she reminds me a little of Crystal Bowersox, barefoot, folk-rocker who will turn country when her first album sells okay but doesn't exaclty excite mainstream radio.  She's the second to last member of Team Levine.

Angela Wolff will not be singing another Miranda Lambert song, this time she takes on "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele because we haven't heard enough covers of that song recently.  Adam picks her up before she even goes for the glory notes.  She is so excited and so isCee Lo because she's another "pretty girl" and even if she's not on his team, at least he gets to see her around the set.  Rawr.

So the auditions are over after just two episodes, now it's time for the battle rounds.  If only they were preceded by the host elimination round.  I'd watch that on pay-per-view.

American Idol Season 10 -- Looking Back at the Top 5

With just five left in the competition, I thought it might be interesting to see how I evaluated each during their first Top 24 performance.  So here's the review of what I had to say about them, with my review of Casey Abrams thrown in for good measure.

Now, one of the two moments we've all been waiting for. The Adam Lambert wannabe with an unending supply of bandanas is up. James Durbin is rocking out to "You Got Another Thing Coming' by Judas Priest. But, wait, this doesn't blow. Maybe because I knew the high notes were coming, but I liked his voice in the rest of the song and the rock star vocal posturing actually didn't bother me. Two thumbs up! He's a natural rocker -- just stay away from the show tunes, dude, and you may go very far!

Haley Reinhart sings "Fallin” by Alicia Keys. Hasn't this song suffered enough? Who doesn't think they can sing it better than the original, only to find out that they end up...wait for it -- fallin'--short? Well, to be fair, Haley doesn't fall, but neither does she soar. It's okay, it would be a nice, safe performance were it not for the fact that only five girls will go through. She apparently studied under the Scotty McCreery School of facial expressions and she mugs a bit too much to the camera. Her voice is almost there, but just...doesn't make it all the way.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I don't like country music. But I love me some Scotty McCreery. And so do apparently the screaming teens in the audience who have been relatively quiet until now. I think it's called “Letters from Home” and Randy says it's by John Michael Montgomery, but this is all a foreign area to me. But whatever it is and wherever it comes from, it's good and so is Scotty. He's cute; he sings well, even the high notes. He's ready to record, right now.

I did not see this one coming. I've been a fan of Lauren Alania from day one, but never would have put her name in the same sentence as one of the queens of country, Reba McIntyre. And yet there they are together as Lauren chose “Turn on the Radio ” as her Top 24 song. Lauren can sing anything. She sounded great -- like an old pro and now someone who should be getting fitted for a retainer. She looks like the missing third Judd sister and sounds just as good (as Wynonna, not Ashley -- who knows her country singers).

Jacob Lusk is the judges' favorite. They make sure to remind us of this before he sings. He has sung better than anyone ever had ever in the history of singing and the rest of us are not even worthy of hearing his dulcet tones. He has been bombastic and over-the-top, pushing his voice louder, higher, farther each time he takes the stage? So what will he do for a change? He takes on another overwrought singer's song, "A House is Not a Home." A song that cries out for delicacy and restraint. Well, keep crying, because you're going to get none of that. Just more GLEE-rific how many runs can I do? He has compulsion to do more than is necessary to sing a song. And with the judges telling him they want more and more, that's what we're going to get. This is not current, this is not anything that you will hear on the radio, and this is not the future of music. It's campy and dramatic, but it's not going to bring the music business back from the brink.

Now it is the guy who will cure cancer with just his voice...at least according to the judges. Casey Abrams is only slightly more in love with himself than the judges are. I will run out of ways to say smug before this competition is over. He's 99% attitude, 1% singing. I don't know what show he thinks he's trying out for, but if their goal down the line is to find a current recording artist, this ain't the guy. It would be a standout performance at your local High School talent show, even if it's mostly smoke and mirrors. He looks like what he's doing should be amazing, and somehow he makes you believe it. But not me, I'm impervious to his voodoo powers! The growling, the talking, it's unique and interesting -- but not the sound of a future recording star. And it's way too calculated and cute for me to buy it.

Well, except for being shocked that Lauren was singing country, I'd say that I was pretty accurate and consistent.  I have grown to like Haley more, James too, but I didn't really pan either of their Top 24 performances.  If anything, I'd say early frontrunners Scotty and Lauren have receded ever so slightly.  But why, how Jacob is still around is a mystery to me.

American Idol Season 10 Top 6 Week -- Results Show

Before I begin recapping tonight's show, let's look back at last night and see what we learned.  Randy Jackson does not know the meaning of "to turn the other cheek" and thinks New Orleans is a state.  He was unable to find any good name-dropping opportunities during Carole King Week ... which should make it a staple of future seasons if this show lasts beyond Season 10.  Steven can actually say something besides "that was beautiful" but whatever else he adds is even less helpful and nearly impossible to decipher.  And JLo is a guy magnet, even for guys of questionable heterosexuality.

Ryan reminds us that this is an elimination night which means "a lot of fans are going to be disappointed with tonight's results."  Spoiler alert -- not this blogger!

The top six did a medley of Carole King's songs and, for those of you hearty souls who want to brave the AI Live Summer Tour, let's hope none of these songs are performed.  In fact, I'd say that this group, because of its noted diversity of styles, is possibly the least able to harmonize of any prior collection of Idol contestants.  Every time two of them gets together, it's painful.  But, when a greater multiple tries to sing together, it's a mad dash by the home audience to the mute button.

Who sounded the worst?  I'd say the honor has to go to Jacob Lusk.  As bad as he is singing alone, when you hear his Kermit under water voice contrasting with the clear sounds of Lauren or James, it's disorienting.  But no one came away unscathed and the producers may want to consider scrapping medleys for the duration.  Or maybe use it as a product placement opportunity, a graphic of a bottle of Pepto Bismol would work just fine.

Although tonight their awful group singing was actually surpassed by how poorly each of them can do an English accent. Is it really that hard? Dear readers: In honor of tonight's final Michael Scott episode of The Office let's say together: "that's what she said."

Before we get into the results, last season's robbed second-place finisher, Crystal Bowersox, comes back to the Idol stage to sing "Riding with the Radio."  Well someone has sure gone country!  What happened to our midwest hippie chick?   So instead of Lillith Fair, she's off to CMA Fest.  She had one guy playing the mouth organ, another on steel guitar, and of the many choices on her very good debut album she (??) picked the most countrified one.  She still has a great voice, is a passionate performer, and a solid songwriter.  But I'm sorry to see her go down south.

For this week's twist, we have Jimmy Iovine weigh in about each of the remaining contestants before we hear their fate.  Jimmy was a little tough on Haley Reinhart...first he said she has one of the best voices in the competition, but he claims that Haley doesn't know who she is...Haley was not buying it and apparently used some epithet to express her disagreement.  Well, that should bode well for their future working arrangement.   We'll find out as Haley is safe and will be back next week.

Scotty McCreery is more accepting of Jimmy's suggestion that some of the subtlety he showed last night in his soft, tender rendition of You've Got a Friend may not result in sufficient votes.  But, ultimately (meaning after unnecessary drama, because there was no way Scotty was going anywhere!), Scotty was told he was safe.

Jimmy has a lot of faith in Lauren Alaina and it is not misplaced as the very young, very good singer is eventually told she is safe.  Then Jimmy gives the quote of the night.  Nay, the quote of the season.  In discussing Casey Abrams' growling/grunting vocals, Jimmy says "Casey has got to realize that the family dog does not vote on this show."  He predicts that Casey is safe (a psychic, he's not).  Ryan asks Casey about the grunting (finally!) and he explains that heh as a theory about it, that he has "this passion for music that I have to get out."   I suppose this means he's confirming our suspicion ... he's possessed.  As we all know, he eventually gets the bad news.  But not yet.

James Durbin is clearly the new frontrunner.  Jimmy loved him, the judges love him, and, according to Jimmy, if he picks the right songs "he can win this thing."  He is sent to safety, joining Haley.  Jimmy thinks Jacob Lusk's sartorial misstep last night could lead him out the door.  His prediction is that Jacob's foot is precariously placed on a banana peel the exact color of that ugly shirt he wore last night.  But, though it comes down to Jacob and Casey, who Jimmy had early predicted would be safe, it is Jacob who is off to Top 5 status.

And with that the second Vote for the Worst pick is eliminated.  Casey Abrams is no more.  He does one more self-indulgent, grunt-filled performance and is once again treated like the second coming.  But, at least it turns out that the voting public didn't fall for it.  

Now, I'm sure many of you are expecting me to dance on Casey Abrams' AI grave, something akin to how I reacted to the elimination of Court Jester Paul McDonald.  But those two guys are very different.  Paul is a 27-year-old grown up with an extensive body of work behind him who took to the Idol stage like the comedy relief between acts at the Apollo.  He should have been followed on stage by someone wielding a broom -- it was ridiculous, from his neon outfits to his barely croaked-out vocals.

Casey is just 19, an only child of much older parents, raised among the NPR listening, tree hugging, jazz music loving people of Idyllwild, California.  Of course, he's going to bring out a stand up bass and try scatting, I'm sure it makes his parents beam with pride.  My problem with Casey Abrams has always been with the judges who have created a monster, showering him with undeserved adulation and never giving him any realistic critiques.  They saved him when they should have listened to America and instead, like a drunk's enabler offering DUI bail money, continued to tell him that every off-putting thing he did was magical.  The grunting, the lumbering menacingly around the stage, the crazed serial killer looks, the enraged teeth baring all while talk-shouting through songs...not once did they suggest those were not great artistic choices.

Is Casey Abrams this talented musician he's been touted to be?  Perhaps.  But what he turned into on the show was a psychotic Jack Black ramping up the creepiness factor in his performances week after week.  And why not?  He was getting praise and attention for it.  So I will say that I wish him well.  I hope he can go back to focusing on what it is about music that he loves and not what it is about being in the limelight that he craves.