American Idol Season 10 Final Results -- And the Winner Is...

Was there ever any question?  It's hard to remember back to the Hollywood rounds when young, deep-voiced Scotty McCreery was going from group to group singing "Baby, lock them doors," over and over hoping to find someone who would take him in.  I can barely recall when they were putting together their top 24 and there were two, young male country singers and it seemed a bit like an odd choice when they took Scotty over the other fellow.  For weeks now, Scotty's coronation has been a mortal lock, as certain as Obama not getting invited over by the Netanyahu's for Seder.

So last night's show was not about the results so much as a way to encapsulate what has been an odd year under new management.  New judges, new format, new record label, new-old producers...how did it all play out?  Well, by not having rigid theme nights where singers were forced out of their comfort zones and into new genres, you were able to have consistently good, safe performances by the top two finishers.  Had Scotty been forced to sing something jazzy or bluesy or Broadway, perhaps the limitations of his voice would have been highlighted.  Conversely, maybe Lauren would have shone brighter (as she did with Candle in the Wind) when she wasn't staying on the safe path.

With label head and producer extraordinaire Jimmy Iovine running the show, it was less about the contestants showing us who they were and more about the show presenting us who they wanted them to be.  In years past, it was interesting to see the development of artists (think of the metamorphoses of shy Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood during their triumphant runs).  This year, we were instead privy to the behind the scenes machinations that produce the final product we see on the stage.  The magic and discovery of an artist's growth was gone, instead we got to watch How to Make a Star 101.

The instructions to the judges to observe the 11th Commandment -- thou shalt not speak ill of any performance -- left us alternately mystified and frustrated.  When every performance was "beautiful," when no errant note or poor vocal choice was ever criticized, the show moved from competition to coronation.  We were brainwashed into believing this was the best season ever, the most talented group ever, the best top whatever ever.  Jacob Lusk, who would be kicked out of show choir, and perhaps even an audition for La Cage Aux Folles or RuPaul's Drag Race, for being too over-the-top, was praised as the next Luther.  Paul McDonald, whose only clear attributes are his shockingly white choppers and the fact that his poor choice of outfits momentarily distracted us from Lauren's similar sartorial missteps, was the new Rod Stewart.  Casey Abrams, the band camp geek who was in way over his head, was treated like a musical genius for grunting and gesticulating wildly. 

Last night's show was a mish mosh of musical genres from the virginal gospel stylings of Lusk (punctuated with incongruous groin grabs) with Kirk Franklin to the raunchy mock-sex/suicide of Lady Gaga. We had 85-year-old Tony Bennett more than hold his own against the super sex kitten Haley Rinehart, back to her seductively purring ways, and seemingly ageless Tom Jones showing more sex appeal than a group of singers decades younger.  James Durbin asked us to give metal a chance and, while it's still not my favorite genre, his enthusiasm and raw talent was enough for me briefly to wish for a hair band revival.  Naima Adedapo showed more personality than the rest of the girl contestants put together, and Stefano Langone demonstrated an ability to command a stage beyond what I had seen before.

While the much-anticipated duet between Casey A. and Jack Black fizzled (and not just because of the lack of the eponymous Fat Bottomed Girls), the comedic highlight of the show was the duel pitting Casey and James over whose ouster was most shocking...a debate that came to a quick end when the dearly early-departed Pia Toscano checkmated the two of them.

Other take-aways from last night -- Beyonce is gorgeous, Marc Anthony and J. Lo can sure ignite a stage, the U2 Spiderman song was a snoozer, I prefer Carrie's voice to Lauren's but choose Scotty's over Tim's, and Steven Tyler can still rock.  Oh, and Randy Jackson is one lucky SOB since he contributes nothing and yet has had this cushy, steady gig for ten years now. 

So the winner is Scotty McCreery, the cute kid from North Carolina with the deep voice and occasionally goofy stage mannerisms.  If anyone say they saw that coming from the first episode, I'd ask them for their lottery picks and the name of the next IPO I should get in on.  I sure could not have predicted that back in January.  But, though originally unexpected, it's a satisfying win, much more so than the last two years, if not the most electric.  Congrats to Scotty and to runner-up Lauren.  I'm just sorry you're coming up in an age where your fellow teens rather steal music than pay for it.  I hope there's still a music industry for you to work in five years from now.  But if there isn't, at least you'll be young enough to do something else.  Like finish high school.

American Idol Season 10, Finale -- Who's in it to win it?

The short answer is...neither of them.  I cannot recall such a lackluster finale.  And it wasn't just the lack of ethereal spotlights, gospel choirs and the other accoutrements of years past that the producers would use to send not so subtle signals that this is our winner.  It was also the lack of any fire in the belly of either performer tonight.  This is what going through the motions looks like.

But a moment to pause to contemplate the absence of blatant staging manipulation:  If the producers don't know who they're rooting for, and don't care enough to make sure you know who you're supposed to vote for, you know we're in trouble.

We have two competitors who are solid, capable, reliable, and consistent.  None of those adjectives are what comes to mind when you think of a great singer.  Instead, those are the descriptors of the kind of insurance agent you would want to sign with.  And therein lies the problem with tonight's show. 

I was chided in the chat room for using the word somnambulistic to describe one of tonight's performances, but I think the scolding was more for the affectation than accuracy in my choice of words. Because there was no question that the word for tonight was sleepy. 

It occurred to me that when I think back on Season 10, I will remember Casey Abrams' borderline psychotic performances and Paul McDonald beyond the border silly ones, James Durbin's over-the-top staging and Haley Rinehart's quasi-burlesque act, but not one performance of either of the final two will be recalled.  So it was really no surprise that the final competition pitting the two would leave no trace.

The first song was a reprise of the contestant's favorite performance from the competition.  Scotty chose "Gone" by Montgomery Gentry.  I haven't checked back to my earlier post, but I was told that I liked this in the earlier rounds.  Perhaps, but tonight his vocals were far outmatched by his excellent baseball swing at the end of the song.  When your arm movements are the most interesting part of a performance, perhaps there is something wrong.  The song started so monotone and unremarkably you had to check the DVR description -- yep, this is the finale!  It picked up by the end, but before the applause faded I would have been hardpressed to remember the performance.

Lauren did the Carrie Underwood song "Flat on the Floor" and it was only more interesting than Scotty's performance because we had been told ahead of time that Lauren had blown out a vocal chord during rehearsal.  So it was inevitable that we would listen a little more carefully, and care a little more, about her performance wondering if she'd make it or not.  But in the end it was what we've come to expect from her, good, a little breathless, but good.   She sounded best singing the song's title, where she carried some power along with a lovely tone, but the rest of the vocals were too muted.  After she sang I wondered, with all the medicine they gave her so she could perform, if she wins, will she have an asterisk by her name?

The next songs were chosen by the contestant's own idol.  Scotty's, chosen by George Strait, was "Check Yes or No."  I didn't like the weird looks into the camera that Scotty does, but I really liked his vocal on this song.  It sounded a little different from what he has done on ever other single song since the beginning of time and for that I was grateful.  But what's with the wide stance; did someone steal his horse right out from under him?

 
Lauren's second song was selected for her by former AI winner Carrie Underwood.  It was Pam Tillis' "Maybe it was Memphis."  Oh, if only Carrie had picked her dress as well.  That was beyond unfortunate.  Even on the most shoestring budget, no Little Miss pageant contestant would be caught dead in that outfit - it was tutu, too too much.  But, Lauren at least sang like she cared if she won and tried to put some passion in her vocals.  Her voice has so much potential -- just beautiful.  If she weren't just a child, she'd really know what to do with it and she could blow us all away.  Right now, it's just raw talent that needs to be worked with.

The last song was the potential single for whoever wins this season.  Jimmy Iovine picked a song called, I kid you not, "I love you this big."  Unless you're three, that is an unfortunate line to deliver, let alone sing on a stage before millions.  Silly, insipid, ridiculous are some of the words that come to mind to describe the song title.  None of this is Scotty's fault and I give him props for doing his best -- including risking mocking humiliation from his baseball friends -- to act out the lyrics.  But if he wins, I'll be glad I don't listen to country radio so I won't have to hear this treacle.  His voice though, as always, was good, fine, right on.

Lauren's last song was "Like My Mother Does" and it was a much better song than the one Scotty was assigned.  It actually had a chorus, and told a story.  Lauren sang beautifully, as always, and didn't let her emotion in singing to her doppelganger take away from her performance.  There were some quasi-creepy Gypsy allusions hanging over the song, but Lauren showed herself to be the better singer, the one more able to put her heart and soul into her vocals and to connect emotionally with the audience.  Too bad it won't be enough.

And there you have it.  Two kids who probably still sleep with their retainers in, who will toast their victory with a milkshake, are our final two contestants of Season 10.  They deserved to be there by virtue of their innate talent and poise, yet the very things that make them so attractive to a record label are what makes them not the best choices for an interesting finale.  They are predictably good, but predictable is not the main ingredient for an exciting TV show.  But on the results show, we get the train wreck contestants returning and while I might cringe at their vocals...at least I won't be bored.

Prediction?  You don't have to be Nostradamus to know that Scotty will win.  Even that guy who incorrectly predicted the Rapture realizes he has the tween vote locked up.  I just don't see the middle-aged mom block, who had been supporting him, jump ship just because Lauren sang about her mom.  But I'll admit that I texted quite a few votes for Little Miss Sunshine and am hoping for an upset.

American Idol Season 10 -- Top 3 Compete

DISCLAIMER:  I have a cold.  I've had it all week and apparently it not only dulls my senses of smell and taste but does something nasty to my sense of humor.  So I apologize in advance for the more straight-forward recap.

Considering this is arguably the most important episode before next week, the opening actually seemed muted.  I thought there would be a Chris Harrison worthy intro about the most emotional rose ceremony ever or something to focus on this being the TOP 3, just one spot short of the finale, etc. Instead, we got some abbreviated video of the Idols during their hometown visits followed by an E! Celebrity Bio on former Destiny's Child singer Beyonce.  About an hour later, the show started.

Three singers doing three songs somehow equals two hours worth of show.  So get comfy.  To aid us tonight, there will be three separate counts:  the number of times Steven says "beautiful," the number of times Randy says someone is "in it to win it," and how often Randy name drops or pats himself on the back.  Predictions??

The winner of the only American Idol contestant to never get the pimp spot contest is one Scotty McCreery.  Either the producers don't adore him as much as we think they do, or his numbers are so astronomically higher than anyone else in this contest that they have to force him to go first just to make it fair.  The first song, which Scotty picked for himself, is not, surprisingly by Josh Turner.  Nor is it sung in an octave deep enough to get a seismograph to register.  Instead, it's the song "Amazed" by Lone Star. 

The mentor for this round, Beyonce, has a clear favorite.  She is totally smitten with Scotty whose charm and innocence have beguiled her and she bestows on him the title "cutie pie."  Did the frontrunner really need any more adulation?  Are the producers secretly splicing one second images of confetti to reinforce that Scotty is our winner?  But then Beyonce gives Scotty some questionable advice, telling him to try and sing in his higher range.  Danger, Will Robinson!  Whatever happened to "if it ain't broke, don't fix it?"  I thought he sounded strained when he went for the glory notes, but it was another unexciting but solid vocal.  I am wondering if  by the finals, someone will figure out how to rig up Scotty's cross so it lights up and flashes.

Lauren Alaina picks "Wild One" by Faith Hill for her first song, and it occurs to me that this is the first time in ten years that I had never before heard the songs picked by the first two singers.  This really isn't my genre.  Lauren has more makeup on than a "Toddlers and Tiaras" contestant and her outfit is a crime in every state above the Mason-Dixon line.  Dolly Parton would tell her to tone it down.  But when she sings, she has the most beautiful tone, I forget all about the visual assault.

There were some problems with this performance, mostly involving the fact that she apparently just got off the treadmill before she started singing.  She was breathless, not in that sultry way, but in that, I'm being chased by a mountain lion way.   Probably nerves, but it's something she needs to work on.  Because anyone who can do what she can with the little tear in her voice and her control on the big notes should not sabotage themselves by panting like an Iditarod dog at the end of a race.

Haley Reinhart decides to dance with the one that brung ya' and continues to take daring chances with her song selections.  This time, ignoring the fact that the resident rocker was just sent packing, she goes all Led Zepplin on us with "What Is and What Should Never Be."  In the most pimp-worthy move since Chris Medina had his fiance at his audition, Haley brings her aging rocker dad on stage to whack the old axe.  Perhaps this was all part of some settlement with American Idol attorneys for the show's mistreatment of Haley over the past three months.  But, it smacked of the most egregious favoritism in the show's history.

Haley, if you pardon the pun, rocked the vocals and even earned additional points for falling with style and getting back up with grace.  She did not miss a beat.  Very impressive.  But unless they're going to bring Scotty's grandma on stage with a tambourine for his next number, I'm crying foul. Nevertheless, round one goes to Haley.

Round two has the contestants singing producer/mentor/person they hope to work for Jimmy Iovine picking their song.  He gives Scotty "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?" by Thompson Square.  Hey, I'm two for two.  Haven't heard of the song or the artist this time.  It's a silly, jokey song that I think is completely wrong for Scotty which is why I'm here writing a blog and Jimmy is there masterminding the careers of Gwen Stefani, Lady Gaga and the Black Eyed Peas.  I get it. 

Jimmy says he picked the song because it reminds him of Tom Petty.  I don't see how he heard any rock at all in that country song.  For me, it reminded me more of Richard Petty.  But who am I to argue with the guy who's worked with John Lennon and Bruce Springsteen?

So the plus is, Scotty isn't leaning on a piano (which, I agree with the chat room is redundant) and he isn't finding new awkward ways to hold a microphone, but instead he takes on this weird macho persona which is greatly at odds with the Howdy and the Doody aspects of his Alfred E. Newman face.  He's a 17-year-old red head -- I'd suggest taking all romantic songs off the table for at least a decade.  Again, his vocals are fine.  I don't know that he's reinventing the wheel or doing anything that other country singers haven't on the show before.  But he's consistently good.

Jimmy picks "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry for Lauren and I wonder if maybe she's his favorite.  It's a beautiful song and she, if you pardon the expression, kills it.  I love her voice.  It's strong, clear, passionate.  She has by far the best recording voice, even if she did hit one bummer note after a little mental glitch during the song.  Staging is not her strong suit, and she manages to look awkward just sitting, but she has a natural gift and if nurtured she will be giving Taylor Swift a challenger as country music's darling.

I must now apologize to Haley.  What they gave her in the first round, by letting her daddy play with her (wow, that sounds wrong), Jimmy took away by making her try and sing Stevie Nicks.  Even Stevie can't do Stevie anymore.  Rhiannon is one of those seminal songs that everyone has imprinted on their brains and no amount of wind machines, beautiful dresses and favorable lighting can erase the original in our minds.  Haley had one nice, sweet run of notes, but other than that it was a forgettable performance.  Round two to Lauren.

The last round has the judges' choices (if we're all suspending belief for a moment that the producers had nothing to do with the selections).  Scotty is saddled with the Kenny Rogers workhorse "She Believes in Me," a song that should have been put out of its misery years ago.  The only thing worse than seeing that hirsute, bloated guy sing this song is watching cherubic, virginal Scotty sing it.  Just...no.  Yeah, the vocals are good, no complaints, but there is no emotional connection and it all seemed phony and forced to me.

Speaking of phony and forced....So Jennifer Lopez tears up at the end of this song. C'mon, JLo, don't even try.  You're just not that good an actress.  You're lucky the "I'm just so sweet" bit has been bought by the AI viewers.  Don't push it.  But, getting back to the vocals, Scotty sounded better in the upper register than he has before...so good job.

So we see them touching up Lauren's makeup before her next song.  Somewhere Tammy Faye is saying...too much!  The judges give Lauren a beautiful song, Lee Ann Womack's "I Hope You Dance." 
This is unfair.  I'm not sure anyone wouldn't give me goosebumps singing this song.  I did find Lauren's pageant dress a bit distracting and I hope that her next reality show appearance is on "What Not to Wear." 
 
After Lauren doesn't win this season of American Idol maybe she can go on the "I Was Robbed" tour with Adam Lambert and Crystal Bowersox.  She has the best voice in the competition, but her lack of confidence has been a problem for her since she got to Hollywood.  Seeing the video of that ballsy girl during the audition, who was orchestrating her moment and directing Steven, makes you wonder where that girl went and why she always seems so skeered on stage.
 

 
The last performance goes to Haley Reinhart and she's given the anthem "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrisette.  I always found it funny how Alanis went from Debbie Gibson teeny bopper to Amy Winehouse manic depressive in such a short period of time.  But it was a good career move.  It is also amusing how the lyrical alterations made for the PG TV audience strips the power from this song.
 
Someone forgot to put the stripper pole up for Haley.  Oh well, she does a fine dance without it.  Her vocals are weak when they're supposed to be soft, but she nails the loud, angry parts.  Haley lacks subtlety when she sings which was why those few notes during the last song were such a nice change of pace.  She should work on developing that part of her voice.  Otherwise, she's just a good, solid rocker chick going into a music business that does not support the genre.  She has a lot of potential, but of the three I'd say she's least ready to make an album tomorrow.
 

 
Now for the moment you've all been waiting for.  The final count.  There were four "beautifuls" from Steven Tyler, just 2 name dropping pats on the back by Randy Jackson, but a whopping four "in it to win it" comments -- for just three contestants.   Masterfully played Randy.
 
So with some 90 million votes being counted, and I only managed to log in a dozen for Lauren, I have no predictions.  My gut tells me that Haley will make it to the end, but I can't bring myself to say that Lauren is going home.

American Idol Season 10, Top 4 Results Show -- James Durbin Out??

What in the Daughtry just happened? 

I go out of town just once during the entire run of American Idol Season 10 and what do I miss?  Oh, just the most interesting, electrifying and, yes, talented contestant of the remaining four is sent packing.  No, not for a triumphant hometown parade as one of the Top 3 finalists.  Packing as in he's back to doing his own laundry.  What in the what??

In a typical post mortem, you look at every organ, every bodily system to see what failed.  Every so often, the medical examiner will determine that there is no clear cause of death and that might seem like the case here.  James Durbin was well-liked by fans, adored by the judges, treated well by the mentors and producers, had a great backstory and, oh, yeah, he could sing.  But dead he is, at least as far as American Idol is concerned, and so I will explain as best as I can my theory behind his sudden seemingly unexpected demise.

Geller, M.E.

Patient: Durbin, James

Cause of AI Death: Premature coronation combined with excessive, undeserved praise.  Secondary factors, judges' backlash and inconsistent later performances. 

James was a 22 year old white male without a guitar, typically not someone who would survive to the end of American Idol.  Thought he can play, for some unknown reason he did not wield the axe often enough to remind the voters that he fit the criteria for an AI winner.  Indeed, for the past three years, only a WGWG has made it to the end of the show.  His failure to remind viewers that he filled that stereotype was not helpful, but was not a major cause of his demise.

James started out strong, with some surprisingly vibrant, touching, and emotional performances.  But in the last two weeks, he showes signs of strain.  His vocals, especially on the 30 Seconds to Mars song during top 5 week, were shaky, off-key, and erratic.  He bounced back to some extent during his next song, but was overcome with unexpectedly strong emotions which detracted from the vocals.  In the previous few months, he almost never showed any tendency towards being "pitchy" or being anything but in full command of a strong, pure voice.

Some have noted his reliance on screaming and going for the big notes, but that had not shown any signs of injuring him in the past.  They were usually intermittent and had not lasting negative effects -- save for infuriating the Glambert obsessives who declared that there shall be no screamer but Adam and sent their negative mojo to work on James.

No, James appeared robust and able to make it to the end of the competition where he was expected to falter Adam Lambert-style when faced with the overpowering force of a cross-wearing, gramma-loving, God-and-country-singing, Southern-living, country-twanger.  So what killed James Durbin? 

The last two weeks, he was overcome with sure-thingitis.  He believed he was invincible, a lock to make it to the end.  So he stopped worrying about this vocals, stopped taking care that his performances please the audience first (and not just himself).  He went from obscure songs to overdone ones and ignored the fact that each week you have to give the home audience -- and not just your diehard fans -- a reason to support you.  His overconfidence mixed with inconsistent vocals and damaging song choices proved a fatal combination in the end.

While I would not suggest opening a criminal investigation into this matter, I would add that James' demise was not without some questionable circumstances.  Fans of a certain Madam have been supporting Haley Reinhart quite heavily these past few weeks and have been opposed to James taking the place of their dear Adam as the most successful American Idol shrieker.  I wonder whether and to what extent their dislike of James contributed to his early exit.

Footnote:  I should add that I was and still am a fan of James, but even I wrote less-than-stellar reviews of his last two weeks of performances.  I did not for a second believe he was vulnerable as I couldn't, and, frankly, still can't figure out who it is who is voting for Haley.  But I was disappointed with what I thought were subpar performances.  So while his exit was shocking at the time, in retrospect all the signs were there.

But, really, who is voting for Haley?

American Idol Season 10, Top 4 Compete

This is the most important week ever.  Well, since the week where we thought we were picking the Top 10 who would make it on the American Idol Live Tour.  And, of course, there's next week when we'll narrow it down to the final two.  Oh, and the week after that where we crown a winner and Lee DeWyze no longer has to crumble under the weight of that title.  But whoever lasts this week will finally get to meet the deputy mayor of their town and get a newly created key to the city that was hastily glued together for the occasion.

Big, right?

We get two songs from each contestant -- no duets like last year at this time -- the first an inspirational song (please, Jeebus, no "You'll Never Walk Alone" or "My Heart Will Go On"), the second, one from the catalog of some old guys who wrote songs before I was born.  I did say old.

Tonight's show had drama (Haley talking back to the judges), comedy (Scotty worrying that hanging with Gaga was going to condemn him to Hell), tragedy (Haley's hair, Lauren's outfits) and horror (Casey Abrams and Paul McDonald back on my TV screen). 

First up tonight is James Durbin.  James is the most recent unfortunate beneficiary of the tabloid attack dogs who decided yesterday to put a salacious, and misleading, headline on their rag.  Did he know and did the pressure get to him?  Well, he certainly didn't look like he was stressing as he dragged out the most overplayed song of this and the last century, "Don't Stop Believing."  James did not let last week's vocal stumble shake his confidence and he was all cocky bravado and rock star moves as he took on the Journey classic.  He approached the song a la Paul McDonald, like we were popped into the middle of his concert (Cmon, James."Anyone know this song?"  Really?  There's cheesy and then there's taking a mozzarella stick, dipping it in Velvetta, then plunging it into a simmering fondue pot of Gruyere.)

At least his vocals were solid and he has enough youthful enthusiasm and unbridled joy at performing to almost make up for the silliness.  James doesn't need the shtick and I hope someone tells him that soon.  He actually has the best natural voice in the competition and the more stripped down it is, the better it sounds.  Anyone can scream, yell, shout, screech.  If that's all it took to make a good record, you'd lock your singer up in a room of wasps.  The power is in the sublety and there was nothing subtle about this performance.

James was followed by Haley Reinhart who has defied all expectations by making the final four.  I hate the judges' critique that a contestant doesn't know what kind of an artist they want to be, but it almost fits here.  Haley annoyed me when she was the growling sex kitten, yet the last few weeks I've found myself strangely impressed by her confident vocals.  But tonight, to quote my least favorite AI judge, she took two steps back.  Her take on the Michael Jackson weeper "Earth Song" was strained and weak. 

She had no breath to speak of and the only time you could hear her was when she was screaming tunelessly at the end.  She sounded like that nasty old codger in the neighborhood always yelling at the kids to get off the lawn.  That wasn't a vocal, it was an aural assault.  But when two of the judges pointed that out, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson, Miss Reinhart got all "oh no you didn't" and copped enough attitude that I wanted to send her to her room. 



He didn't sing the opening from Mighty Mouse ("Here I Come to Save the Day"), but Scotty McCreery might as well have, because his emotional, tender take on the Alan Jackson 9/11 tearjerker, "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning") brought the show back on track.  He picked the perfect song (it had God AND Jesus in the lyrics -- score), was playing his guitar (so no awkward poses with the mic) and his voice was as pitch perfect as ever.  How he managed to get the Navy SEALS to take out Osama bin Laden to make this song even more timely is impressive! The only question lingering after this performance is how long before he is the next country music superstar.

Last up for the first round was the effervescent Lauren Alaina.  I'll admit it, I have a soft spot for this girl.  She's adorable, talented and totally unaware she possesses the first two traits.  She gave Scotty a little competition for the Bible-belt vote with "Anyway" by Martina McBride.   While I appreciate that Scotty is the real deal, I can't see myself ever buying one of his albums.  While I don't break out in hives when he sings, it could be because I take a Claritin ahead of time, just to be safe.  But Lauren is more current country than Scotty and I think she has great crossover potential.  She's a little bit Dolly, but also a little bit Carrie. 

After the break its time for Lady Gaga to mentor the Idols.  She dresses conservatively for her.  No pants, natch.  But at least she's not wearing food.  And none of her body parts appear more altered than normals.  If she goes outside, the black under the eyes will make it easier for her to catch a pop up, so it's nice to see she comes prepared.

Haley is up first this round and she's singing the rather intense Lieber and Stoller song "I (Who Have Nothing)".  She sounds amazing in rehearsal and the suggestions Gaga gives her (make it more dramatic...imagine that suggestion from the lady who goes on stage covered in blood!) are right on.  Haley does a great job on the show, though her voice was a tad too shaky and thus lacked the punch it could have had.  And she missed the last note by about a mile.  But the judges, feeling guilty or worrying that Haley may be armed this time, lavish her with praise.  I'm sure that won't confuse the young lady at all.

So what happened when Scotty met Gaga?  The queen of the monsters told seventeen-year-old Scotty McCreery to pretend his microphone is his girlfriend and "Put your mouth on that microphone or that... is going to leave you."  She also suggested sticking his tongue down the girlfriend's throat.  Well, that certainly wasn't awkward at all!  He later kisses his cross and says, lord, this is not my doing.  I'm sure God already got the memo on Gaga, kid.  No worries.  Scotty took a hokey song and had some fun, but it paled by comparison to his first song and seemed like a wasted opportunity.  But Scotty is golden, so he can afford a silly number like "Young Blood".

Lauren is getting down and dirty with the song "Trouble."  It didn't suit her.  I'm no prude, but I don't like seeing sweet, seventeen-year-old girls romp around the stage telling us how evil they are.  Lauren didn't even feel comfortable with the lyrics. Good lesson for her...trust your instincts!  Betty White exudes more naughty sexiness than Lauren.  It's just not who she is.  I'm starting to wonder whose idea Lieber and Stoller night was because we have one overwrought song and two silly ones -- not really the body of work you want to pin your entire future on.

The last performance of the night was James doing "Love Potion Number 9."  So Gaga was digging James' vocals, but not so much his lack of sexiness.  So, while his eyes are closed, she goes around behind him and plants a hand on each hip and starts showing him how it's done, Elvis style.  Well, that was less awkward than her moment with Scotty!

I'm not used to James being off key, but I had plenty of opportunities to experience that in the first minute of the song.  But I love the way he finished up the song, holding the audience in his hand and toying with us like we were his little plaything.  The guy can control a stage. 

I'd say Scotty and James are locks to make it to the final three and it's between the girls.  I worry that Lauren splits her votes with Scotty and that Haley fans would not likely be fans of anyone else still in the running.  But her feisty verbal altercation with Randy does not always sit well with the audience.  Conversely, after watching Haley batted around by the judges like Lenny playing with a puppy, the audience may actually come to her defense.  We'll see.  I'm still betting on a Haley ouster tonight.

Who do you think is going home...and not to homecoming?

American Idol Season 10, Top 5 Compete

With just three weeks left in the competition there are many unanswered questions.   No, not who will win.  No one cares and it doesn't matter.  I'm talking about the really important ones.  Like, how many more times will judge Steven Tyler call a contestant's performance beautiful?  How many more times will we be able to hear Randy Jackson name drop someone in the music industry or tell us that someone is in it to win it?  Will we ever see Jennifer Lopez actually write on the piece of paper she always seems to refer to during her critiques? 

The theme for tonight is very wide open -- one current song, one older song.  So song choice should not be a factor as basically everything outside of the eighties and nineties is fair game.  Sadly this means, no "So Emotional" and no "I Believe I can Fly" -- both which would have been right up Jacob Lusk's alley.

Tonight's mentor is Sheryl Crow and, I have to say, she sounded better singing along with the contestants than I've heard her before.  Wasn't much of a fan, but maybe I should give her another listen.  Or maybe this shows just how average the contestants are that we've been building up in our minds the past couple of months?

James Durbin is hitting lead-off with "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars.  He was excited about singing with Sheryl and it seemed the feeling was more than mutual as she said, "I got to sing with James. I can officially retire now."  I thought it was because he was so good, which he has been in every other performance since we first met him in San Francisco.  But tonight was an utter and complete vocal disaster.  Even in rehearsal he was way off -- sharp, flat, and missing notes in new and inventive ways.

Jimmy Iovine knows nothing about dramatic irony a la Mark Burnett, or he never would have sent James off with the assurance that "I don't think anything can get between him and greatness tonight."  Nothing except your jinxing him!!!  Dude.  You're on a reality show.   You say something like that, James had no option but to fall flat (and sharp) on his face.  I happen to love this song and I thought it would be perfect for James.  But literally from the first note you could tell it was time to brace yourself for a really hard landing.  His voice was weak and all over the place, like a drunk kitten on a trampoline.  When he got to the chorus, he was exhausted from running around the crowd and it showed in his weak and painfully bad vocals.

But what did the judges say after this  mix of the Titanic meets the Hindenburg?  Steven said "beautiful," JLo said "we're feeling it, grab it, take it" (whatever that means) and Randy just had to let us know how cool he is that he's heard of 30 Seconds to Mars and knows who their lead singer is (possibly the hottest man on the planet...discuss).  Wow Randy, you're just so in the know!  Oh, and did you know the James is in it to win it?

I checked with my 30 Seconds to Mars expert and this is what she said, "I listened to 6 seconds.  My ears are bleeding.  He should be sent to prison for this.  I think what he did is illegal in at least 35 states."  So there you go!  Personally, I'm wondering if those pills that Kate Winslet took in "Eternal Sunshine" to help her forget are available because I don't want to ever think back on that performance. 

Next up is new Vote for the Worst favorite Jacob Lusk.  Now that Osama bin Laden has been killed, perhaps we can use our special forces to try and locate who is voting for this guy.  How come every time he speaks I think of that "Hercules, Hercules" moment from the Nutty Professor, as if done by Kermit the Frog?  He's singing "No Air" by Jordin Sparks/Chris Brown.  Of course, Miss Judy/Liza takes the Jordin part, in all his screechy, pitchy awfulness.   

The only other time I've heard sounds like that was on the Discovery Channel and I don't recall if they were coyotes or bobcats, but they were in a vicious fight and on the losing end.  JLo is happy he picked this song and she loves the direction he's going in on his way to the top 3, uh, 2, uh, the finale.  Oops.  Meanwhile Randy disagrees and thinks it's probably not the best choice for a solo artist to sing a duet.  Especially if you're going to sound awful in either voice.  He's not feeling Jacob as a pop artist and invokes Luther Vandross' name like a mystical incantation to ward off evil singing.  Steven says Jacob needs to find a niche and doesn't seem to worry at all that it's near the end of the competition and the judges are still arguing about what kind of a singer Jacob will be.  I know...unsigned.

But wait, the debate is not over, now Jacob weighs in.  He goes combative and shows that unpleasant side that told us all to go look at ourselves in the mirror and he's arguing that he could sing the Carpenters and be current.  The Carpenters?  Just how out of touch is he?

Lauren Alaina comes along on her white horse to come save the show.  She sings like her life depends on it (which after the tepid responses from the judges recently, it might) and wows with a Carrie Underwood song, "Flat on the Floor."  Finally, the Lauren from Hollywood week is back.  She had energy and enthusiam and confidence.  It was fantastic.

Randy thinks she's in it...then he stops.  Well, he's right.  Even Jacob, until he's booted tomorrow (spoiler alert) is in it.  I think he was going to complete the expression until he got a sign from the producers that they're no longer backing Lauren so he should hold off on too much praise.  And you barely see the strings being pulled.  Steven uses niche in a sentence again, but this time in a positive way showing just how versatile he is as a judge and a linguist.  JLo loved her and told her all she needs to do is be perfect like that every week.  No pressure. 

Scotty McCreery was up next with Montgomery Gentry’s “Gone."  In rehearsal everything seems great and on stage it is.  Now, I'm pretending I like country music for the purposes of this recap.  I'll imagine that I like twangy, drawly, good-ol'-boy songs with a fairly simple melody that don't require too much of the singer.  Scotty comes alive tonight.  He is all over the stage, as if filling the vacuum left by both Paul McDonald and Casey Abrams.  Listening to the performance was quite different than actually seeing it with all the distracting facial expressions and mugging for the audience.  Yes it was cheesy, but it fit the song and fit his age.  He is too young to stand still awkwardly holding a mic and I prefer him hamming it up. 

The judges heap praise on him, Steven stammering something about dancing with the devil which, of course, is a good thing in his book (the book, 101 Things to Do With the Devil) and he invokes the "beautiful" word that we've missed hearing for every single review.  JLo says she lost it, whatever it was and Randy says Scotty's in it ... wait for it... to win it. 

Last up is Haley Reinhart and she is singing an unreleased Lady Gaga song, "You and I."  Because Jimmy has pull.  He's Italian and can get things done, capisce?  But is doing a song only people who've gone to Gaga's concerts (which is roughly a third of the population, but still) have heard risky?  Did the risk pay off?   Depends on who you ask.  At first, I thought she was doing a Jason Mraz song, which might explain the "unreleased" part.  Haley tries her best, she puts a nice bluesy spin on the pop diva's song.  But the pitchy gremlin who's been wrecking havoc tonight bops her on the head and she veers off at times.

There's no question Haley can sing, but the song really didn't do her any favors.  JLo agrees with me!  Should I worry??  More importantly, should Haley worry that JLo just said she didn't come out like James and Scotty did??  Oh no, Randy agrees too.  And he apparently doesn't think Haley is in it...for any reason.  Steven says she's just one perfect song away from being the American Idol.  Wow, that's going to make song selection very relaxing if she's here next week.

Then it's time for the singers to hop into the Way Back Machine and sing something from before CDs, illegal downloading, and Autotune -- all things that have conspired to kill music (admit it, your old LPs sound infinitely better than your new CDs). 

James Durbin sings Harry Nilsson's "Without You" and he was an emotional wreck singing the song during rehearsal and it carried over to his teary, shaky performance that took away from the vocals.  I appreciate the sincerity and feeling, but oh how I wish Simon were here just to suggest that falling apart on stage is a bit self-indulgent.  But, don't get me wrong, I'm still a James fan and there were a few really sweet notes that he hit in this song that reminded me why.   Everyone's entitled to an off night.  but it's a little risky to have it when you're singing first and there are only five contestants left.

Seriously, before tonight did you know there was a band named Nazareth?  Me either.  They did that song that we had heard before, "Love Hurts," which is monotonous and whiny.  But not when Sheryl sang it!  So guess what we're going to get from Jacob?  Well, the whiny came first, followed by the shrieky, but the monotonous was close behind.  When he goes for those low notes, I just want to help remove the phelgm that's choking the notes.  As the song goes on, Jacob becomes possessed. to the point that by the last note he just starts randomly making sounds until finishing off calling in the neighborhood dogs. 

Not having to better her first performance was Lauren Alaina who decided to do the Simon Cowell Memorial Favorite Song of All Time, "Unchained Melody."  Maybe it should be called, Untuned Melody.   Get it?  Since she was off key at the beginning.  She eventually pulled it together and it was fine, I even enjoyed her falsetto, but I wasn't digging the growly finish.  I swear, Casey Abrams casts one hell of a shadow, we have people running around on stage and others growling, I just need teeth gritting menace.  Oh wait, Hannibal Lecter is in the audience.  Score!

Scotty sings "Always on my Mind" and I'm reminded that Willie Nelson is an amazing singer who is so unconventional, so wrong, he's right.  This is not the right song for Scotty.  Possibly it's a mistake for someone who could call Justin Bieber "Pops" to sing a song with that much intensity, longing and passion.  Putting aside that he couldn't sell the message, he also went off key in places and when he wasn't flat, he was boring.  Even grandma couldn't come up with anything good to say when, after prompting from Ryan Seacrest, all she said was, "He's my Scotty."  Very cagey grandma.

Haley's wrapping it up with The Animals' "House of the Rising Sun."  It's a great song and there isn't a snowball's chance in Sacramento in the summer that any judge will ever say wrong song choice.  She starts a capella and the concept was eerie and cool, but Haley's high notes are not working for me.  If I had one of those rating dials I'd have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome by now, turn to the right for the lower notes, which are a mixture of honey and whiskey, smooth and a little dangerous.  When she sings the middle part of the song, she nails it.  But then it's back down to the left with the dial for the high, piercing notes.  Haley has a great voice, but she needs to learn its strengths as well as its limitations.  But it was an electrifying performance on a night that was up for grabs and I can see Haley as the new front runner.

No bottom/top this week... Jacob is going.  James has a huge fan base and has been so great up till tonight's stumble, so he's not going anywhere despite his unfortunate first performance.  For the record, I checked the iTunes version and it sounded pretty good. 

That's all folks!

American Idol Season 10 -- Looking Back at the Top 5

With just five left in the competition, I thought it might be interesting to see how I evaluated each during their first Top 24 performance.  So here's the review of what I had to say about them, with my review of Casey Abrams thrown in for good measure.

Now, one of the two moments we've all been waiting for. The Adam Lambert wannabe with an unending supply of bandanas is up. James Durbin is rocking out to "You Got Another Thing Coming' by Judas Priest. But, wait, this doesn't blow. Maybe because I knew the high notes were coming, but I liked his voice in the rest of the song and the rock star vocal posturing actually didn't bother me. Two thumbs up! He's a natural rocker -- just stay away from the show tunes, dude, and you may go very far!

Haley Reinhart sings "Fallin” by Alicia Keys. Hasn't this song suffered enough? Who doesn't think they can sing it better than the original, only to find out that they end up...wait for it -- fallin'--short? Well, to be fair, Haley doesn't fall, but neither does she soar. It's okay, it would be a nice, safe performance were it not for the fact that only five girls will go through. She apparently studied under the Scotty McCreery School of facial expressions and she mugs a bit too much to the camera. Her voice is almost there, but just...doesn't make it all the way.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I don't like country music. But I love me some Scotty McCreery. And so do apparently the screaming teens in the audience who have been relatively quiet until now. I think it's called “Letters from Home” and Randy says it's by John Michael Montgomery, but this is all a foreign area to me. But whatever it is and wherever it comes from, it's good and so is Scotty. He's cute; he sings well, even the high notes. He's ready to record, right now.

I did not see this one coming. I've been a fan of Lauren Alania from day one, but never would have put her name in the same sentence as one of the queens of country, Reba McIntyre. And yet there they are together as Lauren chose “Turn on the Radio ” as her Top 24 song. Lauren can sing anything. She sounded great -- like an old pro and now someone who should be getting fitted for a retainer. She looks like the missing third Judd sister and sounds just as good (as Wynonna, not Ashley -- who knows her country singers).

Jacob Lusk is the judges' favorite. They make sure to remind us of this before he sings. He has sung better than anyone ever had ever in the history of singing and the rest of us are not even worthy of hearing his dulcet tones. He has been bombastic and over-the-top, pushing his voice louder, higher, farther each time he takes the stage? So what will he do for a change? He takes on another overwrought singer's song, "A House is Not a Home." A song that cries out for delicacy and restraint. Well, keep crying, because you're going to get none of that. Just more GLEE-rific how many runs can I do? He has compulsion to do more than is necessary to sing a song. And with the judges telling him they want more and more, that's what we're going to get. This is not current, this is not anything that you will hear on the radio, and this is not the future of music. It's campy and dramatic, but it's not going to bring the music business back from the brink.

Now it is the guy who will cure cancer with just his voice...at least according to the judges. Casey Abrams is only slightly more in love with himself than the judges are. I will run out of ways to say smug before this competition is over. He's 99% attitude, 1% singing. I don't know what show he thinks he's trying out for, but if their goal down the line is to find a current recording artist, this ain't the guy. It would be a standout performance at your local High School talent show, even if it's mostly smoke and mirrors. He looks like what he's doing should be amazing, and somehow he makes you believe it. But not me, I'm impervious to his voodoo powers! The growling, the talking, it's unique and interesting -- but not the sound of a future recording star. And it's way too calculated and cute for me to buy it.

Well, except for being shocked that Lauren was singing country, I'd say that I was pretty accurate and consistent.  I have grown to like Haley more, James too, but I didn't really pan either of their Top 24 performances.  If anything, I'd say early frontrunners Scotty and Lauren have receded ever so slightly.  But why, how Jacob is still around is a mystery to me.

American Idol Season 10 Top 6 Week -- Results Show

Before I begin recapping tonight's show, let's look back at last night and see what we learned.  Randy Jackson does not know the meaning of "to turn the other cheek" and thinks New Orleans is a state.  He was unable to find any good name-dropping opportunities during Carole King Week ... which should make it a staple of future seasons if this show lasts beyond Season 10.  Steven can actually say something besides "that was beautiful" but whatever else he adds is even less helpful and nearly impossible to decipher.  And JLo is a guy magnet, even for guys of questionable heterosexuality.

Ryan reminds us that this is an elimination night which means "a lot of fans are going to be disappointed with tonight's results."  Spoiler alert -- not this blogger!

The top six did a medley of Carole King's songs and, for those of you hearty souls who want to brave the AI Live Summer Tour, let's hope none of these songs are performed.  In fact, I'd say that this group, because of its noted diversity of styles, is possibly the least able to harmonize of any prior collection of Idol contestants.  Every time two of them gets together, it's painful.  But, when a greater multiple tries to sing together, it's a mad dash by the home audience to the mute button.

Who sounded the worst?  I'd say the honor has to go to Jacob Lusk.  As bad as he is singing alone, when you hear his Kermit under water voice contrasting with the clear sounds of Lauren or James, it's disorienting.  But no one came away unscathed and the producers may want to consider scrapping medleys for the duration.  Or maybe use it as a product placement opportunity, a graphic of a bottle of Pepto Bismol would work just fine.

Although tonight their awful group singing was actually surpassed by how poorly each of them can do an English accent. Is it really that hard? Dear readers: In honor of tonight's final Michael Scott episode of The Office let's say together: "that's what she said."

Before we get into the results, last season's robbed second-place finisher, Crystal Bowersox, comes back to the Idol stage to sing "Riding with the Radio."  Well someone has sure gone country!  What happened to our midwest hippie chick?   So instead of Lillith Fair, she's off to CMA Fest.  She had one guy playing the mouth organ, another on steel guitar, and of the many choices on her very good debut album she (??) picked the most countrified one.  She still has a great voice, is a passionate performer, and a solid songwriter.  But I'm sorry to see her go down south.

For this week's twist, we have Jimmy Iovine weigh in about each of the remaining contestants before we hear their fate.  Jimmy was a little tough on Haley Reinhart...first he said she has one of the best voices in the competition, but he claims that Haley doesn't know who she is...Haley was not buying it and apparently used some epithet to express her disagreement.  Well, that should bode well for their future working arrangement.   We'll find out as Haley is safe and will be back next week.

Scotty McCreery is more accepting of Jimmy's suggestion that some of the subtlety he showed last night in his soft, tender rendition of You've Got a Friend may not result in sufficient votes.  But, ultimately (meaning after unnecessary drama, because there was no way Scotty was going anywhere!), Scotty was told he was safe.

Jimmy has a lot of faith in Lauren Alaina and it is not misplaced as the very young, very good singer is eventually told she is safe.  Then Jimmy gives the quote of the night.  Nay, the quote of the season.  In discussing Casey Abrams' growling/grunting vocals, Jimmy says "Casey has got to realize that the family dog does not vote on this show."  He predicts that Casey is safe (a psychic, he's not).  Ryan asks Casey about the grunting (finally!) and he explains that heh as a theory about it, that he has "this passion for music that I have to get out."   I suppose this means he's confirming our suspicion ... he's possessed.  As we all know, he eventually gets the bad news.  But not yet.

James Durbin is clearly the new frontrunner.  Jimmy loved him, the judges love him, and, according to Jimmy, if he picks the right songs "he can win this thing."  He is sent to safety, joining Haley.  Jimmy thinks Jacob Lusk's sartorial misstep last night could lead him out the door.  His prediction is that Jacob's foot is precariously placed on a banana peel the exact color of that ugly shirt he wore last night.  But, though it comes down to Jacob and Casey, who Jimmy had early predicted would be safe, it is Jacob who is off to Top 5 status.

And with that the second Vote for the Worst pick is eliminated.  Casey Abrams is no more.  He does one more self-indulgent, grunt-filled performance and is once again treated like the second coming.  But, at least it turns out that the voting public didn't fall for it.  

Now, I'm sure many of you are expecting me to dance on Casey Abrams' AI grave, something akin to how I reacted to the elimination of Court Jester Paul McDonald.  But those two guys are very different.  Paul is a 27-year-old grown up with an extensive body of work behind him who took to the Idol stage like the comedy relief between acts at the Apollo.  He should have been followed on stage by someone wielding a broom -- it was ridiculous, from his neon outfits to his barely croaked-out vocals.

Casey is just 19, an only child of much older parents, raised among the NPR listening, tree hugging, jazz music loving people of Idyllwild, California.  Of course, he's going to bring out a stand up bass and try scatting, I'm sure it makes his parents beam with pride.  My problem with Casey Abrams has always been with the judges who have created a monster, showering him with undeserved adulation and never giving him any realistic critiques.  They saved him when they should have listened to America and instead, like a drunk's enabler offering DUI bail money, continued to tell him that every off-putting thing he did was magical.  The grunting, the lumbering menacingly around the stage, the crazed serial killer looks, the enraged teeth baring all while talk-shouting through songs...not once did they suggest those were not great artistic choices.

Is Casey Abrams this talented musician he's been touted to be?  Perhaps.  But what he turned into on the show was a psychotic Jack Black ramping up the creepiness factor in his performances week after week.  And why not?  He was getting praise and attention for it.  So I will say that I wish him well.  I hope he can go back to focusing on what it is about music that he loves and not what it is about being in the limelight that he craves.