American Idol Season 10, Top 7 Perform

The theme for tonight was songs from the 21st century -- apparently an effort to get the contestants to consider for a moment being at all relevant to the music industry today.  You have one who thinks he's Al Jolson (get it, the Jazz singer?  Too obscure?), another who looks like he's ready to appear on the Gene Autry show, and third who should be wearing a mink stole, sipping a martini while singing about the man that got away (and, here'a hint, it's neither of the girls).  Now, finally, we will get an idea what kind of a record they would be putting out when the show is over (assuming the record industry can hold on that long).

But first, they (whoever they are that aren't us because we wouldn't have done that) decided to bring back the first six fallen idols, Paul, Pia, Naima, Thia and those other two girls.  Somehow they missed the point that we didn't like them enough to vote for them in the first place and decided that we just had to see them again, including the ones whose names we can't remember.  So they go with the Pink song "So What?" and it was actually an inspired song.  They were all, "yeah, you kicked us off the show, but we don't care," even though you know they're devastated and if they had any money -- which they don't and now won't thanks to you America -- they'd be on a therapist's couch at least two days a week wondering why the voters hate them.  Naima strutted her stuff and Pia sang beautifully and Thia was adorable and the other two were there too. 

The recently departed Paul comes out on stage and once again I'm temporarily blinded by his awful sartorial choice for the night.  He opens his mouth and, though I find it impossible to accept, it appears that Paul's voice has actually gotten worse since he left the show.  Whatever was plaguing his vocal chords has called in for backup and has now taken his entire voice hostage.  He faintly squeaks and croaks and creaks out something not at all resembling notes to the song and even the most fervent Paul supporter has a WTF moment.  He talks through the rest of the song while the five more talented vocalists around him, who he outlasted, wonder if they should add a third session with their therapist.

Finally, it's over and we start out with the front runner so far this year, seventeen-year-old Scotty McCreery.  Before he sings, the other contestants have an opportunity to talk about Scotty and they each choose to mention something I've never noticed before.  Apparently, he holds the mic oddly.  Hmm, completely missed that.   OMG, people, if everyone sees it, why has no one been able to stop him?! Would you let him smoke cigarettes?  Take drugs?  Drink and drive? Vote Democrat?  Of course not!  So please, let this be the night he breaks that horrible habit!

Tasked with making it current, Scotty picks the song Swingin' by Lee Ann Rimes, which sounds like it was first recorded before I was born.  He actually starts off sounding great and I'm once again surprised how good his voice is when he's not digging deep for those subterranean notes.  But then he starts two fisting the mic and tilting his head and making goofy faces at the camera.  It's the same performance on a loop week after week, with the added touch this week of making a recent song sound fifty years old.

The judges, who normally wouldn't say anything bad about Osama bin Laden (you're really rockin' that beard, dawg) decide to go after Scotty this week for playing it safe.  Fair criticism, but unfair when you pick and choose when to be honest.  And I wonder why the fix might be in for poor Scotty? 

The next one up is James Durbin and his fellow contestants kid him about being a rock star and wearing too many scarves oddly positioned around his body.  James decides to tackle Uprising by Muse and I immediately recoil.  Yes, I know, Muse is great, blah blah, epic, sure, visionary, whatever, but that song drives me up a wall.  The singer has zero breath control so he gasps and wheezes and loudly inhales all through the song and I keep expecting an oxygen mask to fall from overhead whenever I hear that song.  But I digress. 

James has a vision for the song and from his outfit to the drum line accompaniment it's brilliant.  He sounds amazing, nailing the passion of the lyrics and the intensity of the music.  He takes it up to dizzying heights then brings it back down and always stays on pitch and in the zone.  He made me forget all about the original and really see the beauty of this song.  This is something I would actually download.  The judges rave and I can't argue (which puts me in a weird position!).  But I did find it odd that they seemed to be reading their comments and also that they were so sure this was the best performance of the night -- psychic or scripted?

Haley Reinhart next gets ribbed by her fellow contestants and it appears that she and Stefano have some issues that definitely deserve further investigation.  They both seem like nice enough kids, yet they apparently have a teensy problem getting along.  I think I see a RomCom in their future -- she first hooks up with the goofy side kick (Jonah Hill), while loathing the flirtatious Lothario (Jake Gyllenhahl) then realizes in the last reel that she was in love with the hotter guy all along (shocking ending!!).  Speaking of Jonah, where was Casey's comments on Haley?  Curiously absent.  Hmmmm.

Going with Adele's Rolling in the Deep was a risky choice and so was wearing the table cloth from Daisy Duke's Italian restaurant, but I thought Haley sounded great.  Someone else listening along with me thought it was unfortunate that she was going through puberty while singing the song, but I enjoyed the yodel.  This unnamed someone thought I might have been swayed by the original and so wowed by the song and Adele's voice that I didn't realize it was being butchered on stage like some poor animal that I don't want to think about because once you cook it and add a nice sauce it's really tasty.

Anyway, I loved Haley tonight and I'm sticking by my decision. 

Next up was Jacob Lusk and I was shocked that the word his fellow contestants used to describe him was Diva.   Was it the bombastic oversinging, the arrogant attitude or the feather boas that first tipped them off?  Having nearly derailed his AI choo choo with his hubristic attack on America two weeks ago, Jacob decided to pull out the stops to beg for votes.  He chose a Luther Vandross song (one point for Luther being dead), on Luther's birthday (2 points), called Dancing with My Father, (3 points for tear-jerker song), after mentioning his own father died when he was a child (4 points).  Wait, there's more!  He then dedicates the song to anyone with a father.  Well, that's pretty much every voter.  Brilliant.

He sang the song fairly straight forward and didn't do too many runs or his usual, unnecessary excesses of vocal gymnastics.  He didn't try to swallow the audience and he didn't make facial expressions like some smallish parts of him were being squeezed in a vise.  I still don't like the tone of his voice, he always sounds like he's underwater, but I didn't want to throw anything at the TV either, so for him that amounts to a good performance.

 

Jacob was followed by Casey Abrams who chose a Maroon 5 song, Harder to Breathe, that I was unfamiliar with.  I hear I've been riding Casey Abrams all year.  If so, he doesn't seem the worse for wear and I don't seem to be any farther along.  He's just as arrogant and self-satisfied as he was the first time we saw him and I'm still at my computer having to write about another performance of his.  He decided to switch it up tonight, bringing out a guitar as a prop (the only time I saw him playing it, he was fingering it like a bass) and cut down on his usual array of grimaces, grunts and growls (which sounds like a really unpleasant law firm).   But when he sings straight, it only highlights the fact that he has at best an average voice and, at worse, one that he can't stop from drifting off-course repeatedly.  If he didn't do the bit -- the teeth gritting, the random guttural sounds, the mugging, the Sammy-eque mannerisms, the scatting -- he'd just be some dude with an ordinary voice and an oversized instrument.

Begin rant:  As the song continued, manic Casey came out and he started moving menacingly towards the judges.  He finished his song literally right in Jennifer Lopez's face.  As he sang, looking right at her, she turned her head uncomfortably away from him, averting her gaze from Casey and looking (for help?) at Steven Tyler.  When Casey finished, he kissed her on the cheek.  I was aghast and it took at least an hour for me to calm down.  This is not shtick and this is not a bit.  I was truly upset.  I am sick and tired of men objectifying women, of thinking women are their property, and they can do whatever they want whenever they want.  I didn't think it was cute, I thought it was a horrible message to send to both sexes.

Sorry for the digression, but it reminded me of when actor Adrian Brody kissed Halley Berry during the Academy Awards and that offended me greatly and still does.  Women are not men's toys and they don't get to do with us what they want because they want to.  When I complained, I was told "she didn't object" and "it's not like he tongued her."  So apparently, a little inappropriate physical contact is a-okay?   End rant.

Stefano Toscane picks the perfect song, going with Ne-Yo's Closer.  In his pre-performance package the other contestants mention that Stefano is a flirt and he does try to make out with the camera when he sings, which you might think would get him some votes as he's not bad looking.  But, it all comes off more like a hunk of Velveeta than, well, think of some romantic cheese.  Fondue?  Okay, let's go with that.  A nicely melted Gruyere.  Stefano has zero sex appeal, but ranks pretty high on the ick meter.

This is my complaint every week with Stefano, he has it all but just can't seem to put it together in one cohesive package.  It's frustrating.  He's got a great voice, but doesn't seem to have a clue what to do with it.  I'm tired of repeating this.  The sound is there, the tone, the notes. But something just doesn't quite click.  They've been working with him for weeks now and they're just not making any progress.  Let's bring out Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli, cuz it's Time to Say Goodbye.

Last up is Lauren Alaina who sang Sara Evans' Born to Fly.  I've loved this girl from the first time we saw her.  I thought she had such a strong voice and was so confident.  But that girl is less and less the girl I see on the screen.  She's just almost there, but not quite.  Every week, she starts out a song really strong, you know she's just going to nail it, and then she just lets it hang there. Where's that breakout performance that she is so obviously capable of? 

I'm waiting for that one note, that one moment, where she just grabs me by the throat or touches my heart or makes me feel something.  Instead, I sit dispassionately and think, well, that was nice.  She sounded really good.  And then I realize that words like nice and good are not the words that describe someone whose record you can't wait to buy or whose concert you're dying to go to. 

Then it occurred to me why Casey Abrams and Paul McDonald have such fervent followers.  You can't describe them as nice or good.  Whatever you think of them, and I think you all know pretty well my opinion of both, you're not going to damn them with faint praise.  You'll either excoriate them as a plague, a scourge on humanity, as I've been known hyperbolically to do, or you'll praise them as unique and electrifying and breaking the mold.  There's no safe, boring, middle ground.  And that's where, I fear, Scotty, Lauren and Stefano fell tonight.  Fine, good, okay, nice. 

My Top Three of the night: James, Haley and ... crickets??  Make that top two, unless I can say Pia.
My Bottom Three: Stefano, Casey and Jacob
Predicted Bottom Three: Stefano, Scotty (gasp!) and Lauren
The boot?  Stefano

  

American Idol Season 10, Top 9 Results Show -- Got that Right!

I'm not going to do a traditional recap.  I really have nothing to say about the song medley or the Ford commercial or any of the "most shocking elimination" buildup.  Okay, maybe just one thing.  If you watch the first ten seconds of the medley you will see just how cosmically unfair life is -- Haley Reinhart opens and barely squeaks out her lines her voice so thin and raspy it can barely carry sound, then Lauren Alaina follows with a stronger vocal, and then Pia Toscano comes in and blows them away.  Also, why must Casey Abrams intentionally do his Cowardly Lion roar every time he sings?  While we're on the medley, let's never put Paul and Scotty together again -- they were to harmony what Charlie Sheen is to mental stability.  And who dressed Jacob Lusk?  All right, I'm done.  Oh, gawd, Scotty two-handing the mic again.  Sheesh, at least buy it dinner first.

No, what I want to talk about is the actual result, and why I predicted it.  But first, did anyone else think that Iggy Pop's performance should have come with a parental advisory because I'm sure the half naked senior citizen gyrating on stage was scaring small children.  I did enjoy Russell Brand's bit with the contestants and thought it was refreshing to hear a little honesty on the show, even though he missed the mark with the "gorgeous hair ball of wonder."  At a later time we can discuss the unfairness of the fact that unattractive guys can get hot girls, but it doesn't usually work in the other direction.

Now for the results.  I'm not above patting myself on the back and I probably tweeted a half dozen times last night how I picked who was going home. No, what I want to discuss why I thought Pia would go home, why she'd be joined by Stefano and why I missed on my third pick. 

I vacillated  on who would take that final spot for some time and was tempted to put Jacob there.  He went first, he didn't sing particularly well, he didn't do any of the over-the-top Broadway big notes that had been his signature (which confuses the public -- they don't like change) and, most importantly, he said one of the most stupid things a contestant could say on American Idol: "

If I end up in the bottom three, it won't be because I sang the song bad and it won't be because I sang the song wrong.  It'll be because everybody in America wasn't ready to look themselves in the mirror." 

That should go down in AI lore as the time a contestant tried to commit career suicide on national TV and was lucky to walk away with just a flesh wound.  You don't ever challenge or attack the people whose votes you need.  I thought they might punish him by withholding their love this week, yet I thought that the weeks of judges' pimping would be enough to keep him out of the cellar.  I was glad to be wrong about this one and now Jacob has been introduced to one of my favorite philosophical concepts -- karma.

 But why did I know Stefano and Pia were in trouble.  First, the biggest change in American Idol this year has been the move from the mean-spirited criticism (except on this blog, zing!) for the new age everyone is special approach.  Because someone realized that what I said last year is true (I'm going to wrench my arm if I keep this self-congratulatory stuff going):  you can't tell the public week after week the contestants stink, then ask them to buy their records or tickets to see them in concert.  This year, they've done a 180.  Best group ever.  Most talented top whatever ever.  That was great, that was off the chart, that gave me goosepimples (really, JLo, goosebumps sound better), best ever, amazing...well, you've heard it for weeks.

The old AI approach was flawed, but having virtually unwaveringly positive things to say about each and every contestant does not give the public much to go on in making their own opinions. And, as much as we don't want to face it, the viewers are influenced to some extent by what the judges say.  So if everyone is always wonderful, how to choose?  Then it comes down to the old standbys -- likability and who can turn out the vote.  And not just one vote, but unlimited voting for two hours.  Who are the contestants most likely to get that kind of support -- usually, guys, which is why we've lost so many of the girls from the competition.

The problem with the new, improved no-criticism approach is that when anything that seems in the least bit negative is said, it is really noticeable.  The smallest fissure in the wall of acceptance can bring the whole thing down.  And that is what happened to Stefano and Pia on Wednesday night.  Randy had a tepid response to Stefano's set and his lack of gushing was a focal point of the judges' post-performance comments.  This highlighted for the fans at home -- he's not getting our unified chorus of praise.   

For Pia, it was worse.  She had, remember, a perfect vocal.  Impeccable.  She can sing like no one else in the competition.  However, after the song, Jennifer Lopez put the focus on what she perceived to be Pia's lack of stage presence.  "I'm going to keep pushing you," she told Pia.  She went on to tell Pia what she needed to do to get to the next level -- all valid points, by the way -- then finished it up with a plea that Pia not take her suggestions the wrong way.  But by saying that, the impression the viewers had was -- wow, she was really hard on Pia.  If JLo -- who loves Haley for crying out loud (and I do when I think of that) -- is not 100% behind Pia, why should we be?

Everything on TV is amplified and heightened by virtue of being on TV.  So the slightest hesitation, a little dip in you voice, a slightly less than effusive expression comes across as a big "NO!"  Even JLo's apology to Pia made it look like she was being more critical than she was. 

Perception is reality.

So the combination of Pia being a woman and not getting the unqualified praise was what I thought was going to spell big time trouble for her.  With unlimted voting, the female contestants should each be placed on the endangered species list.  As I said in my last post, "girls are dropping like -- well -- girl contestants on American Idol."  Haley is still in it because, while her voice is subpar, she is not boring.  And boring is the deathknell on this show.  Lauren is still in because the country fans are getting out the vote and she's not as threatening to women as the stunningly gorgeous Pia.

I'm sad to see Pia go, especially as Jacob going after his comments would have given this otherwise lackluster season a highlight I'd remember longer than I remember who was voted off in 13th place.  Anyone?  I didn't think so.