I'm basically a rational person. I have no trouble with reality and try to avoid using euphemisms for things or pretend things are as I want them not as they are or any of the other defensive devices our psyches may come up with to deal with unpleasant truths. Except in this one case. I still cannot face that John Lennon is dead. Even writing that causes my heart to speed up and the urge to hit the backspace button is overwhelming.
I'm in denial.
I find it unfathomable that a nobody, a boil on the backside of humanity, could snuff out the life of one of the most vibrant people to have walked the planet. One of just a few people to have literally changed the world, and one of an even smaller percentage who changed it for the better, should not be dead at the hands of someone so insignificant that he literally blended into the background even as he was plotting his deadly act.
I can't face it.
I can't watch the many video celebrations of John Lennon's life. I can't listen to his interviews, especially those that came upon the release of the album Double Fantasy that was supposed to mark Lennon's return to public life but instead signified the beginning of the end. Knowing that had he not released this album the insane impostor who wanted to be him would not have have the desire or opportunity to carry out his deadly plan, is too painful to contemplate.
Yet I know that Lennon would want his music shared -- especially the songs from this album of which he was so proud. He would want his words heard and his message conveyed. He was as open and honest a songwriter as there ever has been -- he never shied away from pain or harsh truths (just listen to Mother if you think he was capable of sugarcoating). So to honor him today I will try and face the truth. He lived, he shared his incalculably enormous talent with us, and he died.
Today we celebrate the music John Lennon made and gave to us just before he had to leave us.
Rolling Stone has released the never-before-heard final interview John Lennon gave. Full coverage is availavble on their website here. I can't listen to it yet. Still in denial.