John Lennon 10/9/40 - 12/8/80

Every year as the anniversary of John Lennon's death approaches, I am drawn to revisit his music. I can go the rest of the year without listening to his voice, his lyrics. They're so much a part of me that I don't have to actually listen to experience them. I don't have to watch blood coursing through my body to know that it's there, sustaining life. So too Lennon's music is ever-present, imprinted on my psyche, my soul, my consciousness, my very being. I don't actually have to hear it to feel it.

In fact, when I listen to his songs, it's almost too much. If I care to be honest, I'm still affected by his death and find it easier to ignore it and how impactful Lennon was on my life. But as humans tend towards the ritualistic, I too find myself wanting to pay tribute to Lennon each year around this time. To share his songs, to show appreciation for what he gave us musically, and to acknowledge his importance to me, especially growing up in the cultural vacuum that was the San Fernando Valley in the late 60's-early 70's.

First up is Tomorrow Never Knows.  Lennon said he took one of Ringo's famous malapropisms for the title, to take the edge off the heavy philosophical lyrics.  It was unique for its time, a song played in just one chord, psychedelic and trippy.

Next is In My Life.  Lennon could be deadly serious, sarcastic and cutting, so for him to write such a positive, upbeat song makes it that much more meaningful.

Lennon's voice is so ... haunting is the only word.  He conveyed so much with his phrasing and his voice is a key element to the effect that A Day in the Life has.  The way he sustains the notes, the soft vibrato, the gentleness of the vocal contrasting with the harsh lyrics...just breathtaking.  This is a beautiful fan video made to mark what would have been John's 70th birthday last year.

I think Lennon's voice is so under-appreciated.  This song, You've Got to Hide Your Love Away, is another example of his pouring so much emotion into his vocals.  Right in the middle of the silly, funny movie "Help!" you find this song full of recrimination and hopelessness.  The growl when he sings "Hey" still gets to me.  This was the precursor to the similarly dejected Jealous Guy.

I"m including Nowhere Man primarily for the chorus.  When he sings those six notes "nowhere man, please listen" his voice is just so pure and gentle.  Every time I hear those notes, it's just such a sad, plaintive sound, it just tugs at my heart.  How he managed to make something so simple sound so moving, is a mystery.  I don't get why it works, and why more complicated melodies may not have the same effect.  But it was interesting to see that Lennon came up with the song after struggling for some time to write another song for "Rubber Soul." As he told an interviewer,  "I'd spent five hours that morning trying to write a song that was meaningful and good, and I finally gave up and lay down. Then 'Nowhere Man' came, words and music, the whole damn thing as I lay down." It's amazing how the creative process works.

Finally, Across the Universe.  This song is so intoxicating.  While not my favorite vocal, it has some of my favorite lyrics.  In fact, in an interview Lennon discussed problems during the recording of the song, which shed a light on the tension between Lennon and McCartney that lead to the band's break up.  He told another interviewer, though, that he was proud of the lyrics.  "It's one of the best lyrics I've written. In fact, it could be the best."  

I wrote this last year on what would have been John's 70th birthday.  There were a couple songs mentioned then that I included now, but the focus was more on John's solo work and the impact he has made on many generations to come. The word genius is tossed around way too much, but if anyone deserves that label, it is Lennon: http://burnthismedia.blogspot.com/2010/10/imagine-john-lennon-at-70.html

I wrote two months later on the twentieth anniversary of John's death, the focus on John's last album.  I think I'm making progress as I can listen to today's song with more joy than sadness:  http://burnthismedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/john-lennon-10-9-40-12-8-80.html.

I'll try not to be glum today and focus on the music and the lyrics and the memories.  So many good memories.

John Lennon (10-9-40 - 12-8-80)

I'm basically a rational person. I have no trouble with reality and try to avoid using euphemisms for things or pretend things are as I want them not as they are or any of the other defensive devices our psyches may come up with to deal with unpleasant truths. Except in this one case. I still cannot face that John Lennon is dead. Even writing that causes my heart to speed up and the urge to hit the backspace button is overwhelming.

I'm in denial.

I find it unfathomable that a nobody, a boil on the backside of humanity, could snuff out the life of one of the most vibrant people to have walked the planet. One of just a few people to have literally changed the world, and one of an even smaller percentage who changed it for the better, should not be dead at the hands of someone so insignificant that he literally blended into the background even as he was plotting his deadly act.

I can't face it.

I can't watch the many video celebrations of John Lennon's life. I can't listen to his interviews, especially those that came upon the release of the album Double Fantasy that was supposed to mark Lennon's return to public life but instead signified the beginning of the end. Knowing that had he not released this album the insane impostor who wanted to be him would not have have the desire or opportunity to carry out his deadly plan, is too painful to contemplate.

Yet I know that Lennon would want his music shared -- especially the songs from this album of which he was so proud. He would want his words heard and his message conveyed. He was as open and honest a songwriter as there ever has been -- he never shied away from pain or harsh truths (just listen to Mother if you think he was capable of sugarcoating). So to honor him today I will try and face the truth. He lived, he shared his incalculably enormous talent with us, and he died.

Today we celebrate the music John Lennon made and gave to us just before he had to leave us.









Rolling Stone has released the never-before-heard final interview John Lennon gave.  Full coverage is availavble on their website here.  I can't listen to it yet.  Still in denial.

Imagine John Lennon at 70

Unfortunately, that is all we can do.  Wonder what the musical landscape and the world would look like if John Lennon were alive to celebrate his 70th birthday tomorrow.  Maybe I overstate his importance, maybe, like any true believer, I imbue him with almost supernatural powers.  But as we learned thirty years ago, Lennon was mortal, flesh and bones, not a deity, not a super hero, just a man with a gift that he shared with us for a short time.

I've had a hard time even looking back on Lennon over these now three decades.  It's as if the wound is still too raw to touch.  So I haven't read the most recent books or watched the most recent movies.  I find it easier not to think about him being gone.  But on milestones like this one, it's hard to ignore.  So, since words fail me when I try and talk about what Lennon meant to me, I'll resort to a bit of a cop out.  Here are some of my favorite songs of his.

I know others might list Imagine first and I'm sure they love the message in that uplifting song.  But not me.  I like the biting Lennon edge in this song much more. Yet, he still conveyed a positive message, no matter how pissed he might have been when he wrote the song.

"Why in the world are we here? Surely not to live in pain and fear."


Yoko Ono has polarized people since she first burst onto the international scene. But she inspired John and he loved her and that's good enough for me. This may seem like a simple song, musically, lyrically, but I think it's one of the most beautiful love songs ever written as much for its simplicity as the unbridled joy.

"My love will turn you on."


Lennon was the everyman, born of humble beginnings, raised not by his parents but by his strict aunt, in a working class neighborhood of Liverpool. He was too smart for his own good, too artsy, too talented. He didn't fit it. But he found others if not like him at least with whom he could share something. A yearning for something more. I don't know of any song that better expresses what it is to be human.

"they hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool"


I'm thrilled to add this video.  Lennon looking young, with that twinkle in his eye.  His vocals were amazing, gravelly, sexy, yet gentle. I don't know how he managed the duality, the sweet and dangerous, the innocent and the impish. He could have been a movie star, the camera loved him.

"How could she say to me, love will find a way?"


Lennon's love songs have that something extra. They're never sappy or cliche, they're just raw emotion. So even with the cutesy music (is that a clavichord?), it still feels so real.

"i know I'll often stop and think about them"


Of course, there's a flip side to love. And in this song, Lennon touches on the complex feelings that can come up in any relationship. There's a reason this has been covered by so many, it is such an emotional song with a very uncensored admission of wrongdoing. For a gender not known for being open about feelings, Lennon gave them a song to lay it all out there.

"I was swallowing my pain"


This one is really hard to watch. Autobiographical, and sadly ironic, the song expresses Lennon's contentment with his life outside of rock. Whether the picture of the Mr. Mom was accurate or not, the message of someone stepping out of the public eye and enjoying the simpler things rang true. The shocking fact that the minute he stepped back into "the game" he was taken down by an assassin's bullet makes this song so wrenching.

"surely you're not happy now, you're no longer playing the game"


I could go on forever. I hope people take tomorrow's anniversary as an excuse to look back at all his songs both during and post Beatles. There's so much there, it's hard to imagine someone so gifted walked the earth. And it's hard to imagine he never will again.  Imagine...