Saturday, December 25, 2010

Have a Jewish Christmas?!

When I was growing up, one of my favorite comedy albums was "Have a Jewish Christmas...?"  It came out in 1967 and was a bit risky and edgy for its time.  Hanukkah was still a minor Jewish holiday that was no competition for this spectacular Christian holiday with its snowmen who come to life, jolly white-whiskered gift-givers, and dancing and prancing reindeer.  Christians had the lock on the local garden stores with their mistletoe, Christmas trees and poinsettias.  Dozens of songs and movies and TV specials were devoted to the holiday.  It seemed like the whole world was green and red, with houses festooned with Christmas lights, stockings and candy canes. 

This album took on squarely what it meant to be Jewish during the Christmas holiday season.  It posed the ultimate question -- to celebrate or not to celebrate.  And it did so as Jews know how -- with laughter and with songs.  The first song set out the problem simply, to the tune of Jingle Bells:

The lights are being strung, The streets are full of cheer,

The stockings have been hung, Christmas Time is here.

Its joyous revelry and spirit capture you;

"At Christmas Time it's hard to be a good religious Jew." ("Oy")


Chorus:

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle night and day.

It's "Yo-ho-ho" and mistletoe and Santa's on his way.

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, If Santa Claus is true,

his joy is fun for everyone, but what's a Jew to do?


He goes to synagogue, it doesn't matter which,

He's Jewish and he's very proud, "I'd rather fight than switch."

When Christmas Time is here, he wishes it would pass,

"Last Sunday morning I got up and almost went to mass!" ("Oy")


Chorus:

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle night and day.

It's "Yo-ho-ho" and mistletoe and Santa's on his way.

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, If Santa Claus is true,

his joy is fun for everyone, but what's a Jew to do?

I still have my old LP and I played it last year and it still gave me a chuckle.  I was thrilled to find out it's available for purchase on Amazon !  I know it may seem outdated now.  Thanks to Adam Sandler, kids growing up in the 90s had their own funny Hanukkah song (four versions, actually, with the release of his latest update in 2015) and even their own movie, Eight Crazy Nights.  But for oldsters like me, it's a trip down memory lane and a reminder of how things used to be, when there was more pressure to conform, to blend in, as well as a desire not to miss out.
 
I may have come down on the side of not celebrating Christmas as a Jew, but I sure enjoy the season!  Endless replays of It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story and Miracle on 34th Street?  Count me in!    Spending time with friends and family?  You know it!  Eggnog?  Yes, please!  And I don't believe in the watered down, politically correct "Happy Holidays."   So I wish to everyone reading this a very Merry Christmas!

6 comments:

  1. I don't mean this to be flip or anything, but I think Christians have just done a better marketing job than the Jewish folk. The very little that I know about Hanukkah I picked up from watching "The Nanny." However, I admit to having very little connection to the religion since, as I once mentioned to you Shari, there literally were no Jewish people in my very Scandinavian up North community. Heck - when I was very young, I lived in a town with only 4 Catholic families, of which we were one, so that was pretty interesting too, especially during the Kennedy election back in the early 60's.
    When you're young, it somehow seems so important to blend in, so I can only imagine the Christmas pressures on children. As an adult we have freedoms to think for ourselves. And isn't it great that we can use humor to describe our thoughts?! (Thank God for Jewish humor in our country!! Where would we be without it?!)
    It just seems to me we can just celebrate it all ... and learn about it all. Hopefully we're getting there. Here's a little summary of Jewish holidays for anyone who, like me, wants to know more.

    http://www.interfaithfamily.com/holidays/other_holidays/Jewish_Holidays_Cheat_Sheet.shtml

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    1. Jews bad at marketing?!

      Guess who turned Christmas into the holiday it is today, wrote the songs, and profited from the crap that Christians buy?

      Yep, it's us.

      Sincerely,

      The Jews

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  2. Ha ha ha ! Thanks for this, I totally remember listening to this album with my cousin and laughing my tushie off. In my inter-faith family, holidays were always a mix of menorrah and Christmas trees, of matza balls and roast turkey, usually with pasta on the side. I think we did a good job of learning about both holidays and just plain celebrating. I have lots of amazing Christmas memories, and enjoying this schmaltzy send-up is one of them.
    I wonder if it's available on iTunes???

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  3. The person criticising this album has missed the point and has totally missed out on hearing some of the most hilarious and clever comedy writing ever. I spent most of my childhood listening to this album. It brought many years of laughter and joy, just from the sheer wit and entertainment value! I treasure this record and am delighted to see it's now being redistributed. Thanks for posting!

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  4. I have this on a reel to reel tape. I grew up listening to it and the other Jewish comedy albums. Funny that I have a son named Danny Siegel and we ride "motorbikes" together. I have loved this album all my life and may have to buy a copy as the tape is about gone.Not sure if people would still get the humor in it without taking offense.

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    Replies
    1. So happy when I hear of someone else who knew this album!

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