Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur Finale: All hail Queen Natalie

How's this for a reality TV redemption arc?  Natalie Anderson lost The Amazing Race, twice, and irritated thousands of annoyed viewers with her grating, sniping relationship with her twin sister Nadiya.  Then, on her third time on an unscripted CBS series, she not only wins the game and the $1,000,000 prize but is beloved in the process.  All Hail Queen Natalie, the Most Bad Ass of them all.

How'd she do it?  With a combination of spunk, determination, and humor that made her as fun to watch as she was fun to root for.  Natalie was playing the game from day one and never seemed to let her eye off the prize.  So many steps she made along the way led her to the victory.  From allying with fellow superfan Jeremy, to developing a tight relationship with Baylor, to keeping in mind that strategic players get rewarded in the end, she made nearly the perfect move at every opportunity.

Remember how it was this little spitfire to got into the shouting match with John Rocker?  She stood up for herself, her tribe, and everyone who Rocker had ever maligned, leading to getting one of the strongest players removed by his own team?  She was the one who volunteered to go to Exile Island, twice.  She was the one who first thought of giving away her reward to build loyalty and trust.  She was the one who bounced back from having her loved one eliminated first and used it to her advantage.  She was the one who worked hard back at camp and was never seen whining or complaining.

But she was also the one who was able to scramble quickly when things didn't go her way.  When she was blindsided by the vote to oust Jeremy, Natalie could have had a meltdown, freaked out, and sealed her own fate. Instead, she pretended to understand, said all was forgiven, and snuggled even closer to her alliance - long enough to return the blindside favor to both Jon and Baylor.  When Reed almost maneuvered for Jon's ouster, at a time when the numbers would have worked against her - she quickly saw what was developing and saved Jon from himself.  When the numbers were getting low, and her eyes were fixed on getting rid of Jon, she figured out how to keep his biggest challenge threat in the game (by voting out Alec instead of Keith) and yet was able to play dumb and not let on that it was all strategy.

I cannot find a fault in her play over the entire 39 days.

It says a lot about Survivor that the first person eliminated was the identical twin of the last person standing.  Having a big personality, playing hard, can mean you're the first boot or the sole survivor.  Of course luck - which tribe you're on, what competitions you play, who quits, tribe swaps, etc. - has a part in who wins.  But there are some personality types that literally are of the go big or go home variety and the Twinnies seem to possess that exact makeup.  I saw in both of them strong, smart women who understood the game and came to play hard.  For one, it was an utter failure, for another it was a sublime success.

What I don't want to hear is how easy Natalie had it or how all she had to do was outplay the combine brain power of slack-jawed Alec, golly gee Jon, and the hillbilly spitter from Louisiana.  One, as I had drummed in my brain when I questioned Derrick's Big Brother 16 win against a weak field, it is often harder to play a good strategic game when you're playing alone.  Two, the critique about Natalie's competition this season ignores that there were true superfans on the show who played hard and failed gloriously, most notably Josh, Reed and Jeremy.

Maybe it's hard for Survivor fans to give women credit for strategic play, but for me Natalie Anderson will go down as one of the top ten Survivor winners.    Just look at her last week in the game:

She orchestrated Jon's blindside, decided to backstab her closest remaining ally (Baylor) and managed to convince both Missy and Jaclyn to take her to the final three.  She managed to outwit, outplay and outlast two superfans who had made it together through the merge - Josh and Reed - and get them not to target her as a threat to their game.  She played a stunning social game while also winning individual immunity and finding a hidden immunity idol.  

That's how you win Survivor.

My favorite players from this year were Natalie, Jeremy, Reed and Josh, and none of them disappointed in the end.  In fact, Reed gave what to me was the second best Tribal Council speech of all time (behind Sue Hawk's never-to-be-outdone rats v. snakes speech).  He very accurately portrayed what camp life must have felt like during the Missy and Baylor show and why the Blood v. Water set up is so ingenious.  Without Baylor there, Missy might have been the loving den mother, adored by all the tribe.  With her daughter there, well, we saw how she was seen by at least one of her fellow tribemates.

Jeremy also did a great job at tribal, pointing to the, uh, less aware jurors (those like Alec who looked to be a screen shot but were actually just sitting there mouth agape for an ungodly amount of time or those like Wes who were thinking more about their next meal than their next vote) who deserved the win, who played the best, who should get the title "Sole Survivor."  Sometimes it's important to remind people who are playing the game that the winner should be not their best friend or the one who did them the least harm or the person who needs the money the most, but the person who played the best game.

For Survivor San Juan Del Sur Blood v. Water 2, that person was Natalie Anderson.

Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur, Episode 12: Revenge is a dish best served ice cold

Cat while canary learns it's about to be eaten

Do not get on Natalie's bad side.  That girl can hold a grudge as long as she can hold a vase, which turns out to be just long enough to get what she has wanted for a long, long time.  Her desire for karmic payback, retribution, revenge can give her otherworldly powers, including the ability to defy the elements and get them to bend in her direction.  Jon lost that challenge thanks to a gust of wind which Natalie seemingly summoned out of nowhere to strike only his vase, leaving hers untouched.  Meanwhile, Natalie stood stone-like, immutable -- despite having just been on Exile Island for two days with almost no food and certainly no comfort -- and willed herself to win a strength and balance challenge against the perfect physical specimen that is Jon Misch.

Oh, Drew, you had it so wrong.  Natalie Anderson is this season's bad ass.

But not only does she posses powers over her physical environment, Natalie also can also exercise mind control, convincing those around her of whatever narrative she chooses.  After Jeremy's blindside, she told us that she was furious and would avenge him, but Jaclyn and Jon had absolutely no idea she was upset or held any ill will towards them.  After Jon won immunity, ruining her chance to vote him out last time, she hugged him and congratulated him and he had absolutely no idea she was still plotting his demise.  And after she switched her vote, saving Keith, she convinced Jon and Jaclyn that it was a simple mistake, and they had absolutely no idea that it was all part of her devious plan.

Or maybe that isn't a superpower so much as recognizing how dumb and gullible Jon is and playing right into it.  Either way, it's a winning strategy.  Natalie, both figuratively and for one night literally, laid down with the enemy and they had no clue she was there, plotting their demise.  Even after potentially tipping her hand at Tribal Council by voting for Alec, Natalie was still able to deflect all negative attention and bury whatever red flags were raised by feigning stupidity and cluelessness.  Basically, she pretended she was Jon.  And he fell for it.

With everything smoothed over from the night before, it was time for the reward challenge.  I watched a "behind the scenes" video on CBS.com and saw that the reward challenge was designed by a young fan of the show, Austin, as his "Make a Wish."  He even got to go on location to see his challenge be designed.  It was very cool and you can check it out here.   I don't know if part of his wish was to hobble Missy, but that was what ended up happening, as she came down hard on her ankle during the teeter-totter part of the challenge.

But despite her injury, and her team being behind throughout the challenge, she, Jon and Keith were able to solve the puzzle part of the challenge the fastest and won the spa treatment package.  Jaclyn, proving herself to be a good loser and concerned about Jon's well being, could not let Jon enjoy the victory for a single second.  As Jon was celebrating with his team, and talking about how a trip to the spa would help Missy (the 47-year-old mom who just severely injured herself) feel better, Jaclyn started the eye rolling.  She actually said that him being happy was pissing her off.  That is the sign of true love, when your happiness irritates your significant other.

So, following the tradition of this season, of course Jon gave up his reward, this time to Baylor, so that she and her mom could have the experience of a lifetime.  Jon, have you ever heard the expression "those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it?" You may not have before this, but you probably will a lot in the years to come.  I'm kidding.  I'm sure that giving up your reward will not lead to your being blindsided by the very person you just gifted.  I mean, that's what happened to Jeremy, but what are the chances that would happen again?  That's just silly.

In fact, Jon was so pleased with his decision to give up his reward, he told us in his confessional that giving up the trip to the spa to Baylor would only solidify their alliance and would improve his case to the jury at the finale.  Jon is great at thinking ahead.  He has his whole speech planned out on why he should win.  I see nothing standing in his way!

Meanwhile, Missy's ankle is swelling up bigger than Drew Christy's ego and Keith is enjoying his first spa day (which he poetically describes as knocking the funk off of him), dining on spa food (I'm going to whatever spa thinks brownies are healthy!) and getting his first massage and other "extra curricular stuff."  He worries a little what the guys at the fire station back in Louisiana will think about all that pampering, but I think he doesn't have to worry about his macho card being revoked.  I'm sure spitting in every episode keeps you in good "bro" status.

Back at camp, Jon and Jaclyn are still trying to make sense of Natalie's wonky vote for Alec.  Jaclyn considers, then dismisses, the thought that it was calculated, while Jon is 1,000% sure that Natalie made a mistake and he's going to be able to use it against her when they plead their case in front of the jury at the finals.  This is the dichotomy of their relationship.  Jaclyn questions, Jaclyn has her suspicions raised, Jaclyn thinks, then Jon comes in and tells her everything is great and not to worry her pretty little head.  I hope, in their future together, Jon decides to listen to Jaclyn more and she trusts in his blind loyalty and gullibility less.  Otherwise, they'll be giving all their money over to some Nigerian prince they meet online.

We see Natalie at Exile Island which usually means someone 's about to find the hidden immunity idol, but in this case it was for us to see the vulnerable side of Natalie and understand that behind her tough girl exterior is someone who really misses her twin and is exhausted and worn out but so close to her goal.  Without anyone around, she lets the emotions get to her, but when she's back on the island, she's all business.

Missy's ankle is now so big it's starting to have its own gravitational pull, so Jeff brings in medical which means a cute guy with an even cuter Australian accent will check her out.  Long story short, if this were early in the season, she'd be medivac'd out of there immediately.  But since there are so few days left, it's Missy's decision if she wants to quit and get her ankle x-rayed or stick it out.  She has zero interest in pulling a Julie and they agree to immobilize her ankle and let her stay in the game (even if she's out of the next challenge that requires, among other skills, the ability to say upright on two feet).

Jon now has a one in five chance of winning this immunity challenge and again foiling Natalie's plan. This quickly becomes a one in two chance when the others drop out of the challenge.  But while he stares down the vase, defying it to move, a sudden gust of wind (I swear, it was so strong I could hear it) blows his vase off and gives Natalie the win.  Natalie is so excited, she runs over and hugs Jeff.  In her head she's thinking, this is it.  I can finally get rid of Jon.  But she acts like this is great for the five-person alliance, that it's Keith who's going next and all is going according to plan.

I wonder if Natalie plays poker. I hope for their financial stake that Jon and Jaclyn don't.

Jon and Jaclyn barely consider that his not winning immunity could spell trouble, and are pretty quickly convinced that Keith is the target.  Jaclyn has a fleeting concern, what if Jon is the target?  But Jon cannot picture a scenario where his alliance turns on him.  At first, you think his trust is well-founded as Missy immediately balks when Baylor asks her to take part in a J/J blindside.  But then you remember this is Blood v. Water and what wins out in that battle?

Missy hobbling off to Tribal Council

Eventually, Missy makes it to Tribal Council and from the start it looks like Keith may sink Natalie's ship as he did Reed's.  Keith immediately, before Jeff even poses a question, starts talking about his failed attempts to pierce the five person alliance and how someone should use him to make a move.  Jon pipes up that they are solid and that he would be a hypocrite if he were to turn on his allies (cut to the jury rolling their collective eyes at this).

Natalie does a great job pretending to be worried about being the odd girl out in her alliance and happy to have immunity to keep her safe and Jon buries himself with his overconfidence and his thoughts of the endgame.  Missy does a great job by NOT pulling a Keith and crack or show signs that she might be planning something and the whole Tribal Council only reinforces Jon's belief in his safety.  And even Keith does a great job by not putting his recently pedicured foot in his mouth (a la Stick to the plan).  With no suspicions raised, Jon does not play his idol.

Baylor and Natalie orchestrate a 2-2-2 three-way tie (in case Jon wised up...hey, no laughing).  Jon didn't play his idol and on revote it was Mr. America, Mr. Prom King, aka Mr. Clueless who was the next voted out...once he went back for his torch so that Jeff could fully snuff it.

"No hard feelings, guys.  Nice move."  I'll give it to Jon, he perfected the classy exit.  He was not a hypocrite and he was not a whiner.  But he was also way too trusting, gullible, unclear on the rules of Survivor.  Yes, he orchestrated a blindside on Jeremy, taking one of the best players out of the game, but in the end he did not consider himself vulnerable and let his guard down.  You never want to be voted out holding an idol, you especially don't want to be voted out by someone who was like a mom to you.  But that's what happens when you forget that she was someone else's real life mom.

Natalie is in great shape.  She's atop the food chain, with a strong alliance with Baylor and with a newly-loyal fan in Keith.  She has the only immunity idol still in play.  And she's good at challenges.   I certainly don't want to tempt the Survivor Gods by saying it looks good for this twinnie, but I can say with assurance that we'll have our answer next week!

Quotes:
Jaclyn:  I'm so confused. Did Alec vote for himself?

Baylor: If they [Jon and Jaclyn] were smart, they'd know Natalie knew exactly what she was doing.

Keith (talking about Jon and Jaclyn): You mean Mr. Prom King and Miss Homecoming Queen?

Jon (talking about Missy):  A spa day is going to completely rejuvenate her. She's going to feel as young as she looks.
Jaclyn: Jon, you're annoying right now.

Jon: I don't see Nat flipping.

Jon:  God's got a plan. ...  I've got to accept it.

Jaclyn:  Could I go home tonight?  Could Jon go home tonight?  You never know 100%.

Jaclyn: I don't think Jon or I are going anywhere.

Jon: I think about that final speech quite a bit.

Missy:  I'm pretty loyal to a fault.

Confessionals:

Natalie (3)
Baylor (3)
Jon (5)
Keith (3)
Missy (2)
Jaclyn

Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur Episode 6: Let's Make a Deal

Where's Monty Hall when you need him?  Everyone was wheeling and dealing on Survivor San Juan Del Sur this week.  Reed, on behalf of the Hunahpu tribe, tried to make a deal for some more rice while Dale, on Coyopa, tried to make a deal with Jon for his vote.  Neither negotiation went particularly well, but they both at least gave some life to an otherwise pretty dull episode.

Jeff Probst schooled Reed on the keys to good negotiating - come from a position of strength.  Jeff had what they wanted - a bag bursting with rice - they had nothing that Jeff wanted.  Remember, his life is fine.  So in the end, Jeff was able to completely gut the Hunahpu tribe, taking almost everything  they had - their hammock, their tarp, their blankets, everything that kept them dry and comfortable (which sounds like a Pampers commercial) - in return for continued survival.  As if the producers wouldn't have discretely snuck some food in for them had they just kept their mouths shut!

The Hero Arena challenge was a race with a twist, the racers are blindfolded and have to run through a maze, study a mask, grab puzzle pieces, run them to another station and reassemble the mask from memory.  Reed volunteers for Hunahpu and Baylor volunteers for Coyopa.  Kudos to the two for putting themselves on the line, bigger kudos to Reed for pulling out the win. The challenge designers got what they wanted when the both racers continued to bash their heads as they ran through the maze and the cameramen made sure we didn't miss one painful headshot.  Reed and Baylor had different strategies - he studied the mask on each pass, Baylor ran through the maze then studied the mask once at the end.  Reed's strategy was the more successful as he made only one small misstep as he put his puzzle together, but fixed it quickly and gave Hunahpu its 300th win this season.

Remember in the confessional when Jeremy said Reed was being premature panicking about the lack of rice?  That he should "suck it up" because they might get a food reward challenge?  So you knew what Jeff was going to show in answer to the "wanna know what you're playing for?"  It would have been funnier to see a gigantic bag of rice, identical to the one Hunahpu just traded everything worth living for, but instead it was huge skewers of meat and veggies.  Enough food to make one forget all about any member of the grain family.  And you knew that Hunahpu would be the ones to win it.

But not everyone from Hunahpu will get to share in the feast.  Reed gets a chance to make an enemy for life by sending someone from his tribe to Exile Island.  He settles quickly on Julie, giving some BS reason about how this will help her show her boyfriend John how strong she is, but then Natalie volunteers.  Great move and great timing.  Reed has still made an enemy as Julie will not soon forget that he picked her to miss out on all that succulent meat and Natalie has now made a friend in Julie and also has a chance to connect on Exile Island with Missy's daughter Baylor.  A very good strategy, unless someone realizes just how smart Natalie is and what a strategic game she's playing.  It's a fine line and one she has to be very careful skating on. 

Earlier in the day, Dale showed Jon the little medallion that he'd found the first day and tried to convince him that it was a hidden immunity idol.  Jon seemed to believe him - yet his instinct is to immediately run and tell Missy and not use the information for his own benefit.  I guess when God gives you good looks, he figures you don't need anything more than that to get through life.  But in Jon's case being so dumb that you believe that little trinket is an idol AND still don't use that knowledge to switch your allegiance ends up being the right move.  And that's where we get the phrase dumb luck. 

Jeremy is noticing that Josh and Reed are committing the cardinal sin of Blood v. Water - rubbing your tribemates' collective noses in the fact that your loved one is still there and theirs isn't.  The guys are hugging and kissing and "walking around like they own the place" when everyone else on their tribe has either seen their loved one go home, or is at least separated from them by a beach.  He correctly notes that their togetherness is a threat.  But since Hunahpu never loses a challenge, they needn't worry.

Remember in the confessional when Julie said this was not a great trade because they were losing their tarp and what would happen if it rained?  So you knew that the skies soon would open up and pour down on the hapless Hunahpu tribe so they could freeze and shiver and regret their decision long into the cold cold night.  Julie is wet and cold and miserable and it looked like we will be having the first quit of the season, which is worrying Jeremy to no end as he knows Surivor is a numbers game and right now she's a number for him.  He needs her to stick around, at least until the merge, at least before his torch is snuffed.  He gets his wish as the sun comes up and Julie is still there.

We don't see anything from Exile Island but I imagine that Natalie and Baylor did a better job coping by themselves with nothing to protect them against the elements than Julie did elevated off the ground and surrounded by tribemates, the heat from the barbecue, and her stylish hoodie.

The immunity challenge was a combined physical/mental challenge and Coyopa was in the lead, first to the puzzle component, thanks to some excellent bag-swinging rhythm by Jon.  Jeremy could not get the timing down on how to unlock the bags of puzzle pieces and Wes had to sub in.  Halfway through putting the puzzle together, Jon let being in the lead go to his head, shouting, "Who's Big Jon now?"  Well, the Survivor Karma gods had one quick answer, not you!  Suddenly, Josh and Reed, aka the dynamic puzzle duo, fly through their part of the challenge and quickly retake the lead as Coyopa reverts to the norm and falls apart.

Hunahpu wins!  If that was the drinking game phrase, you'd never have to worry about being sober during Survivor.  The tribe that never loses* go off to celebrate and Coyopa has to decide which of the remaining old guys will be voted off.  Dale tries to plead his case, saying how tonight's vote will be hard because they're voting out someone's loved one - a clever ploy to refocus attention away from him, the only one who does not have a loved one still in the game.  Will it work?

Not so much.  Dale tries to make a deal with Jon - if he votes to keep Dale, Dale will give him the immunity idol.  Considering Jon believes Dale to have a real, genuine, 100% certified, Jeff Probst approved immunity idol, it seems like a no brainer.  Even Jon seems to recognize it's an easy choice. Vote out Missy, get the idol, and go into the merge stronger.  But he also thinks that he'll be best positioned after the merge if he is in a strong four person alliance. Jon's head is hurting trying to sort out his two options, but he sums up how he handles the decision-making process thusly: "You can't get ung up on small details."

So after much discussion at Tribal Council, with even the howler monkeys weighing in, two things became clear.  Jon is closely allied with Missy and he will do whatever she wants.  Missy wants Dale gone; so Dale is gone.  The only interesting thing to come from Tribal Council is the fact that Keith was smart enough not to play his real immunity idol and that Jon and Jaclyn split their votes, leaving all the power in Missy and her daughter Baylor's hands. 

If the merge happens next week, there will be four pairs remaining - Josh/Reed, Missy/Baylor, Keith/Wes and Jon/Jaclyn - and four singles - Jeremy, Natalie, Julie, Alec.  It takes 7 votes to win next week, so the pairs could take out the singles one by one.  But maybe Keith and Wes will partner up with Jeremy (Firemen R Us), Jeremy will bring in Natalie, Julie and Alec. Unfortunately for Jeremy, that's only six.  They'll have to get one of the remaining pairs (Alec will want Josh/Reed, Natalie will want Missy/Jon) to join them to vote out one of the remaining pairs.

Quotes:
Dale (not envisioning a 3-way vote): "I'm not dead til I see my name written four times."

Jeff (aka Captain Obvious):  "There has never been a tribe in the history of Survivor that has needed as much help as you guys have and only fourteen days in.”

Alec (sounding like Hannibal Lecter): "I'm a meat collector."

Dale (trying to plant a subliminal message): "What happens tonight hurts more than this. I mean, we have all suffered losses at different times, but this is a loss with somebody’s loved one is going home”

Missy (showing basic understanding of Survivor): "Better Keith than me.  And Baylor."

Confessionals:
Dale (4)
Jon (3)
Jeremy (5)
Reed
Julie (2)
Missy (3)
Natalie
Josh
Alec
Keith


*unintentionally