Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur Finale: All hail Queen Natalie

How's this for a reality TV redemption arc?  Natalie Anderson lost The Amazing Race, twice, and irritated thousands of annoyed viewers with her grating, sniping relationship with her twin sister Nadiya.  Then, on her third time on an unscripted CBS series, she not only wins the game and the $1,000,000 prize but is beloved in the process.  All Hail Queen Natalie, the Most Bad Ass of them all.

How'd she do it?  With a combination of spunk, determination, and humor that made her as fun to watch as she was fun to root for.  Natalie was playing the game from day one and never seemed to let her eye off the prize.  So many steps she made along the way led her to the victory.  From allying with fellow superfan Jeremy, to developing a tight relationship with Baylor, to keeping in mind that strategic players get rewarded in the end, she made nearly the perfect move at every opportunity.

Remember how it was this little spitfire to got into the shouting match with John Rocker?  She stood up for herself, her tribe, and everyone who Rocker had ever maligned, leading to getting one of the strongest players removed by his own team?  She was the one who volunteered to go to Exile Island, twice.  She was the one who first thought of giving away her reward to build loyalty and trust.  She was the one who bounced back from having her loved one eliminated first and used it to her advantage.  She was the one who worked hard back at camp and was never seen whining or complaining.

But she was also the one who was able to scramble quickly when things didn't go her way.  When she was blindsided by the vote to oust Jeremy, Natalie could have had a meltdown, freaked out, and sealed her own fate. Instead, she pretended to understand, said all was forgiven, and snuggled even closer to her alliance - long enough to return the blindside favor to both Jon and Baylor.  When Reed almost maneuvered for Jon's ouster, at a time when the numbers would have worked against her - she quickly saw what was developing and saved Jon from himself.  When the numbers were getting low, and her eyes were fixed on getting rid of Jon, she figured out how to keep his biggest challenge threat in the game (by voting out Alec instead of Keith) and yet was able to play dumb and not let on that it was all strategy.

I cannot find a fault in her play over the entire 39 days.

It says a lot about Survivor that the first person eliminated was the identical twin of the last person standing.  Having a big personality, playing hard, can mean you're the first boot or the sole survivor.  Of course luck - which tribe you're on, what competitions you play, who quits, tribe swaps, etc. - has a part in who wins.  But there are some personality types that literally are of the go big or go home variety and the Twinnies seem to possess that exact makeup.  I saw in both of them strong, smart women who understood the game and came to play hard.  For one, it was an utter failure, for another it was a sublime success.

What I don't want to hear is how easy Natalie had it or how all she had to do was outplay the combine brain power of slack-jawed Alec, golly gee Jon, and the hillbilly spitter from Louisiana.  One, as I had drummed in my brain when I questioned Derrick's Big Brother 16 win against a weak field, it is often harder to play a good strategic game when you're playing alone.  Two, the critique about Natalie's competition this season ignores that there were true superfans on the show who played hard and failed gloriously, most notably Josh, Reed and Jeremy.

Maybe it's hard for Survivor fans to give women credit for strategic play, but for me Natalie Anderson will go down as one of the top ten Survivor winners.    Just look at her last week in the game:

She orchestrated Jon's blindside, decided to backstab her closest remaining ally (Baylor) and managed to convince both Missy and Jaclyn to take her to the final three.  She managed to outwit, outplay and outlast two superfans who had made it together through the merge - Josh and Reed - and get them not to target her as a threat to their game.  She played a stunning social game while also winning individual immunity and finding a hidden immunity idol.  

That's how you win Survivor.

My favorite players from this year were Natalie, Jeremy, Reed and Josh, and none of them disappointed in the end.  In fact, Reed gave what to me was the second best Tribal Council speech of all time (behind Sue Hawk's never-to-be-outdone rats v. snakes speech).  He very accurately portrayed what camp life must have felt like during the Missy and Baylor show and why the Blood v. Water set up is so ingenious.  Without Baylor there, Missy might have been the loving den mother, adored by all the tribe.  With her daughter there, well, we saw how she was seen by at least one of her fellow tribemates.

Jeremy also did a great job at tribal, pointing to the, uh, less aware jurors (those like Alec who looked to be a screen shot but were actually just sitting there mouth agape for an ungodly amount of time or those like Wes who were thinking more about their next meal than their next vote) who deserved the win, who played the best, who should get the title "Sole Survivor."  Sometimes it's important to remind people who are playing the game that the winner should be not their best friend or the one who did them the least harm or the person who needs the money the most, but the person who played the best game.

For Survivor San Juan Del Sur Blood v. Water 2, that person was Natalie Anderson.

Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur, Episode 12: Revenge is a dish best served ice cold

Cat while canary learns it's about to be eaten

Do not get on Natalie's bad side.  That girl can hold a grudge as long as she can hold a vase, which turns out to be just long enough to get what she has wanted for a long, long time.  Her desire for karmic payback, retribution, revenge can give her otherworldly powers, including the ability to defy the elements and get them to bend in her direction.  Jon lost that challenge thanks to a gust of wind which Natalie seemingly summoned out of nowhere to strike only his vase, leaving hers untouched.  Meanwhile, Natalie stood stone-like, immutable -- despite having just been on Exile Island for two days with almost no food and certainly no comfort -- and willed herself to win a strength and balance challenge against the perfect physical specimen that is Jon Misch.

Oh, Drew, you had it so wrong.  Natalie Anderson is this season's bad ass.

But not only does she posses powers over her physical environment, Natalie also can also exercise mind control, convincing those around her of whatever narrative she chooses.  After Jeremy's blindside, she told us that she was furious and would avenge him, but Jaclyn and Jon had absolutely no idea she was upset or held any ill will towards them.  After Jon won immunity, ruining her chance to vote him out last time, she hugged him and congratulated him and he had absolutely no idea she was still plotting his demise.  And after she switched her vote, saving Keith, she convinced Jon and Jaclyn that it was a simple mistake, and they had absolutely no idea that it was all part of her devious plan.

Or maybe that isn't a superpower so much as recognizing how dumb and gullible Jon is and playing right into it.  Either way, it's a winning strategy.  Natalie, both figuratively and for one night literally, laid down with the enemy and they had no clue she was there, plotting their demise.  Even after potentially tipping her hand at Tribal Council by voting for Alec, Natalie was still able to deflect all negative attention and bury whatever red flags were raised by feigning stupidity and cluelessness.  Basically, she pretended she was Jon.  And he fell for it.

With everything smoothed over from the night before, it was time for the reward challenge.  I watched a "behind the scenes" video on CBS.com and saw that the reward challenge was designed by a young fan of the show, Austin, as his "Make a Wish."  He even got to go on location to see his challenge be designed.  It was very cool and you can check it out here.   I don't know if part of his wish was to hobble Missy, but that was what ended up happening, as she came down hard on her ankle during the teeter-totter part of the challenge.

But despite her injury, and her team being behind throughout the challenge, she, Jon and Keith were able to solve the puzzle part of the challenge the fastest and won the spa treatment package.  Jaclyn, proving herself to be a good loser and concerned about Jon's well being, could not let Jon enjoy the victory for a single second.  As Jon was celebrating with his team, and talking about how a trip to the spa would help Missy (the 47-year-old mom who just severely injured herself) feel better, Jaclyn started the eye rolling.  She actually said that him being happy was pissing her off.  That is the sign of true love, when your happiness irritates your significant other.

So, following the tradition of this season, of course Jon gave up his reward, this time to Baylor, so that she and her mom could have the experience of a lifetime.  Jon, have you ever heard the expression "those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it?" You may not have before this, but you probably will a lot in the years to come.  I'm kidding.  I'm sure that giving up your reward will not lead to your being blindsided by the very person you just gifted.  I mean, that's what happened to Jeremy, but what are the chances that would happen again?  That's just silly.

In fact, Jon was so pleased with his decision to give up his reward, he told us in his confessional that giving up the trip to the spa to Baylor would only solidify their alliance and would improve his case to the jury at the finale.  Jon is great at thinking ahead.  He has his whole speech planned out on why he should win.  I see nothing standing in his way!

Meanwhile, Missy's ankle is swelling up bigger than Drew Christy's ego and Keith is enjoying his first spa day (which he poetically describes as knocking the funk off of him), dining on spa food (I'm going to whatever spa thinks brownies are healthy!) and getting his first massage and other "extra curricular stuff."  He worries a little what the guys at the fire station back in Louisiana will think about all that pampering, but I think he doesn't have to worry about his macho card being revoked.  I'm sure spitting in every episode keeps you in good "bro" status.

Back at camp, Jon and Jaclyn are still trying to make sense of Natalie's wonky vote for Alec.  Jaclyn considers, then dismisses, the thought that it was calculated, while Jon is 1,000% sure that Natalie made a mistake and he's going to be able to use it against her when they plead their case in front of the jury at the finals.  This is the dichotomy of their relationship.  Jaclyn questions, Jaclyn has her suspicions raised, Jaclyn thinks, then Jon comes in and tells her everything is great and not to worry her pretty little head.  I hope, in their future together, Jon decides to listen to Jaclyn more and she trusts in his blind loyalty and gullibility less.  Otherwise, they'll be giving all their money over to some Nigerian prince they meet online.

We see Natalie at Exile Island which usually means someone 's about to find the hidden immunity idol, but in this case it was for us to see the vulnerable side of Natalie and understand that behind her tough girl exterior is someone who really misses her twin and is exhausted and worn out but so close to her goal.  Without anyone around, she lets the emotions get to her, but when she's back on the island, she's all business.

Missy's ankle is now so big it's starting to have its own gravitational pull, so Jeff brings in medical which means a cute guy with an even cuter Australian accent will check her out.  Long story short, if this were early in the season, she'd be medivac'd out of there immediately.  But since there are so few days left, it's Missy's decision if she wants to quit and get her ankle x-rayed or stick it out.  She has zero interest in pulling a Julie and they agree to immobilize her ankle and let her stay in the game (even if she's out of the next challenge that requires, among other skills, the ability to say upright on two feet).

Jon now has a one in five chance of winning this immunity challenge and again foiling Natalie's plan. This quickly becomes a one in two chance when the others drop out of the challenge.  But while he stares down the vase, defying it to move, a sudden gust of wind (I swear, it was so strong I could hear it) blows his vase off and gives Natalie the win.  Natalie is so excited, she runs over and hugs Jeff.  In her head she's thinking, this is it.  I can finally get rid of Jon.  But she acts like this is great for the five-person alliance, that it's Keith who's going next and all is going according to plan.

I wonder if Natalie plays poker. I hope for their financial stake that Jon and Jaclyn don't.

Jon and Jaclyn barely consider that his not winning immunity could spell trouble, and are pretty quickly convinced that Keith is the target.  Jaclyn has a fleeting concern, what if Jon is the target?  But Jon cannot picture a scenario where his alliance turns on him.  At first, you think his trust is well-founded as Missy immediately balks when Baylor asks her to take part in a J/J blindside.  But then you remember this is Blood v. Water and what wins out in that battle?

Missy hobbling off to Tribal Council

Eventually, Missy makes it to Tribal Council and from the start it looks like Keith may sink Natalie's ship as he did Reed's.  Keith immediately, before Jeff even poses a question, starts talking about his failed attempts to pierce the five person alliance and how someone should use him to make a move.  Jon pipes up that they are solid and that he would be a hypocrite if he were to turn on his allies (cut to the jury rolling their collective eyes at this).

Natalie does a great job pretending to be worried about being the odd girl out in her alliance and happy to have immunity to keep her safe and Jon buries himself with his overconfidence and his thoughts of the endgame.  Missy does a great job by NOT pulling a Keith and crack or show signs that she might be planning something and the whole Tribal Council only reinforces Jon's belief in his safety.  And even Keith does a great job by not putting his recently pedicured foot in his mouth (a la Stick to the plan).  With no suspicions raised, Jon does not play his idol.

Baylor and Natalie orchestrate a 2-2-2 three-way tie (in case Jon wised up...hey, no laughing).  Jon didn't play his idol and on revote it was Mr. America, Mr. Prom King, aka Mr. Clueless who was the next voted out...once he went back for his torch so that Jeff could fully snuff it.

"No hard feelings, guys.  Nice move."  I'll give it to Jon, he perfected the classy exit.  He was not a hypocrite and he was not a whiner.  But he was also way too trusting, gullible, unclear on the rules of Survivor.  Yes, he orchestrated a blindside on Jeremy, taking one of the best players out of the game, but in the end he did not consider himself vulnerable and let his guard down.  You never want to be voted out holding an idol, you especially don't want to be voted out by someone who was like a mom to you.  But that's what happens when you forget that she was someone else's real life mom.

Natalie is in great shape.  She's atop the food chain, with a strong alliance with Baylor and with a newly-loyal fan in Keith.  She has the only immunity idol still in play.  And she's good at challenges.   I certainly don't want to tempt the Survivor Gods by saying it looks good for this twinnie, but I can say with assurance that we'll have our answer next week!

Quotes:
Jaclyn:  I'm so confused. Did Alec vote for himself?

Baylor: If they [Jon and Jaclyn] were smart, they'd know Natalie knew exactly what she was doing.

Keith (talking about Jon and Jaclyn): You mean Mr. Prom King and Miss Homecoming Queen?

Jon (talking about Missy):  A spa day is going to completely rejuvenate her. She's going to feel as young as she looks.
Jaclyn: Jon, you're annoying right now.

Jon: I don't see Nat flipping.

Jon:  God's got a plan. ...  I've got to accept it.

Jaclyn:  Could I go home tonight?  Could Jon go home tonight?  You never know 100%.

Jaclyn: I don't think Jon or I are going anywhere.

Jon: I think about that final speech quite a bit.

Missy:  I'm pretty loyal to a fault.

Confessionals:

Natalie (3)
Baylor (3)
Jon (5)
Keith (3)
Missy (2)
Jaclyn

Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur Episode 11, Pt. 2: Natalie makes a move

If you thought part one of tonight's two-hour long episode was predictable, then you must have been yawning your way through the second hour where the most exciting thing to happen this episode was a rat scurrying across the ground during Tribal Council.

After Reed was voted off, Alec tells us he has no one and Jon confirms for him that his position is pretty dire.  Jon trusts his five person alliance and doesn't see any crack developing.  No matter how many times Natalie tells us in her confessionals that she wants to blindside Jon, and I think it's up to about 20,000 times by now, that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon.  The only question remaining is will it be Alec or Keith who goes tonight.

But before we get to that, there's another reward challenge, aka another chance for Alec and Keith to watch the majority alliance squabble about who gets to enjoy another huge meal.  This time it's spaghetti in bed, which isn't really a thing.  I'm part Italian and could eat pasta at every meal and I enjoy spending time in bed probably more than most people, but I've never thought of combining the two.  Regardless, this is an ooh and aah invoking reward that ultimately Natalie wins despite Jon's assertion at the beginning that he was going to lock it up.   Jon needn't have worried.  Natalie decides to take Jon and Jaclyn into bed with her, so she can tell the folks at home that she's literally sleeping with the enemy.

My favorite moment was Missy complaining about not being chosen for the reward (she did chose Natalie after all just three days ago) missing the point that, one, she just had a reward and, two, if you want to keep your alliance together you might want to include them in a reward now and then.  And Reed thought Baylor was the brat.

Did I mention that Natalie wants to blindside Jon to avenge Jeremy?  I should mention that as often as I can because it's such a subtle point you could probably miss it.  Natalie is so circumspect on the subject, if only she let us know what she's thinking.  I mean, sure she tells us in the confessionals every time a camera is pointed at her what her plans are for Jon.  Sure, she took Baylor aside to tell her of her plan to blindside Jon to get revenge for Jeremy.  But what does Natalie "if he wins I will literally kill myself" Anderson really feel about Jon?

I won't go into how annoying Jon was with the wine and how he couldn't even spell sommelier (which I did without spell check, mind you) and how I want to put him in a giant glass and swirl him around until he pukes which was what I wanted to do hearing him go on and on about wine, because he then mentioned his dad and it all got real and serious and sad.  So, moving on....

Natalie tells Baylor that sharing the reward with Jon was "probably the worst experience of my life."  This obviously means she's a very lucky girl or Jon was a lot more boring and annoying than we saw in the one minute snippet the producers showed us of the reward.  Regardless, it reinforces to Baylor and us that NATALIE WANTS JON OUT.  Even Baylor says she wants Jon out.  Which, in Survivor speak, means Jon is totally safe tonight.

Post-reward, Jon's Spidey senses tell him that there is something weird going on around camp.  Jaclyn is concerned as well.  How much can they trust Natalie?  Are they solid in their alliance?  But just as soon as Jaclyn raises those really valid questions, Jon shoots them down.  He may feel some strange vibes, but he knows without any question that he can trust Missy and Natalie.  So, he's batting .500, which is great in baseball but not so good on Survivor where one little misstep could be your last.  The only thing Jon has going for him is his physical strength, the fact that his loved one is still in the game, the fact that Missy adores him, and the Survivor trope that Natalie's repeated promise to vote him out makes him bulletproof.

And just like that, Jon wins individual immunity, to go along with the protection of the hidden immunity idol, which means he's not going anywhere despite how many times Natalie tells us she wants him out.  The only play now is whether to vote off Keith or Alec.  Why is no one, say, Natalie, thinking of going after Jon's closest ally Jaclyn?  Excellent question (I always ask the best ones!).  Because Natalie is so blinded by her single-minded hatred of Jon that she's not thinking strategically any more.

They make what is a pretty unimportant choice seem monumentally significant.  Jon and Jaclyn want to save Alec for one more vote.  They like him, and Jaclyn enjoys his flirting, and he's young and beautiful and those people should get every benefit in life.  So Keith is their target.  Natalie realizes that Alec couldn't win a contest unless it was "if you're related to Drew, you win" so she wants Keith the 50-something expectorating fire captain to stick around and give Jon some competition in the upcoming challenges.

The alliance of five agree to split their votes, in case Keith or Alec have an idol, with three votes for Keith and two for Alec.  But Natalie, who is desperate to make a BIG MOVE in the game, decides to flip it by casting her vote for Alec, having him go out next.  This is a dangerous move because it shows some dissension, a potential crack in their solid alliance, and she wants Jon to continue to see her as loyal up until the moment she orchestrates his ouster.  But the only way her plan to get rid of Jon works is if he doesn't win immunity and Keith looks like the only real threat to Jon.

A lot of time is wasted on the Alec v. Keith vote, focusing on Keith trying to talk strategy and Alec flirting with Baylor.  There are no sparks between the two young 'uns, so the flirting doesn't pan out, and as for strategizing with Keith, just ask Reed how well that goes.

The 3-2 split sending Alec, rather than Keith, out of the game does shock Jon and Jaclyn and we'll have to wait a week to see if Natalie will pay for her decision or whether she can continue to con Jon into thinking she can be trusted.

Quotes:
Jon:  Unless I am reading everything wrong, which I haven't yet, I'm still  controlling and steering the direction of the game.

Jon: The more I get to know Natalie, the more reassured I am of the strength of our alliance.

Natalie: It's just about them and their perfect life together as a couple.

Jaclyn: I don't trust anyone out here.

Natalie: I could totally flip the entire game.

Confessionals:
Alec
Natalie (5)
Jon (5)
Jaclyn (3)
Baylor (2)
Keith (2)
Missy

Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur, Episode 11, Pt. 1: Couple's therapy replaces strategy

In retrospect, nothing happened in Wednesday's two-hour episode that we couldn't have predicted the week before.  It's a testament to the hardworking producers over at the venerable reality show that they could hold our attention for what ended up being totally expected.

After the failed coup at the previous Tribal Council - thanks to Keith's now famous "let's stick to the plan" - Jon was still there and in the majority alliance.  On one side there was Reed, Alec and Keith, the other Jon/Jaclyn, Missy/Baylor and Natalie.  Jon was sitting pretty.  The only way Reed, Alec or Keith weren't going next was if Baylor and Natalie decided to make a big play and switch sides.  But Jon couldn't imagine that happening.  Baylor was not about to go against her mom and her mom is Team Jon all the way.  And Natalie has been loyal since day one.  Jon had no clue that she was still stewing over the Jeremy blindside and just waiting for the chance to deliver Jon his karmic payback.

Most of the episode concerned a rift in the relationship between Jon and Jaclyn, or why you shouldn't spend 24/7 with your loved one under any circumstances.  They were both right, both wrong, in their various dust-ups.   Let's do a little couple's therapy and try to see this dispute from both sides, as rational, clear-minded people.

Jon made a good point that giving credit to others for clever moves was not a good strategy when thinking about getting the jury's vote.  Jaclyn made a good point that Jon would be dining at the Ponderosa had Natalie not saved his butt at tribal.  Jon made a good point that they were in a solid position in their alliance and nothing would be gained by allying with the boys against Missy and Baylor.  Jaclyn made a good point that Natalie was closer to Missy and Baylor and they're at the bottom of the five-person alliance. Jon made a good point that after two days alone he wanted a hug and not to immediately be hit with Jaclyn's thoughts on strategy.  Jaclyn made a good point that they're playing Survivor and all they should be thinking about is strategy. Now that I look at it, neither of them have a good point.  Jaclyn is a spoiled brat (note to Reed, you missed the mark on that one) who must be tended to constantly and Jon is a clueless lug who needs to learn how to talk to his girlfriend respectfully.

Back to Survivor.  I'm a Survivor purist.  I don't like Jeff making deals for food or flint, I don't like him being easy on people who quit.  Basically, Jeff's gone soft. The new, touchy feely Jeff took the teeth out of an old favorite challenge.  The pecking order reward challenge used to be a great way for people to learn where they stand in the tribe and in their own alliance.  Instead, this time the challenge was as exciting as watching rice cook.  Natalie, following up on her great gameplay the last few days, looked to Jon for advice on "what are we doing" rather than risk showing her cards.  She adeptly solidified the us versus them and confirmed to Jon her allegiance to him.  Meanwhile, in confessionals we know that she feels nothing but blind rage at Jon for his blindsiding Jeremy.  Perhaps if the challenge had played out to the end she would have showed her cards, going after Jon or Jaclyn. Instead, she was able to continue playing the devoted ally.

Thus, the majority alliance, predictably and in unison, targeted Reed, then Alec, then Keith but when it was finally going to get interesting, when the five will have to show who's at the bottom of the totem pole, Jeff gave them an out.  Since it's obvious they're working together, who do they want to win, he asked.  Rather than letting them knock out each other in order from least important to most which is precisely what this challenge is designed for, they all get to agree to give Missy the win.  They also agree on who's going to Exile Island.  No blood on anyone's hands, no tipping their hands.  A waste of a good challenge.

The only intriguing moment came from Missy having to make a "tough" decision - basically, does she want to take Natalie or Jaclyn on the reward and who should go to Exile Island.  If Natalie were thinking, she would not have wanted Missy to send Jon to Exile Island.  Her plan, in case she didn't mention in enough, is to avenge Jeremy by blindsiding Jon.  So why let Missy send Jon where he can find the hidden immunity idol?  Also, since Natalie's plans hinge on getting Reed, Alec and Keith to go along with her plan, why let them spend time alone with Jaclyn?  None of this made any sense.

Immediately, Jaclyn is upset with Missy's decision.  Jon "sacrificed" by agreeing to go to Exile (her mischaracterization of a move that probably guaranteed him the million dollars) and she's stuck with the butt end of the deal, as she refers to the prospect of spending the afternoon with the three remaining guys.  The guys, especially Reed, swoop in and try to take advantage of the situation to get Jaclyn to question her allegiance to the Missy/Baylor/Natalie alliance.  Jaclyn eats it up, loving how she and Jon some how always end up in the middle (not realizing there's nothing magical about it - they choose to be wishy-washy so they're always in the middle).  She can't wait for Jon to come back from Exile so she can tell him her epiphany that they're at the bottom of the five-person alliance.   

It was, unfortunately, very expected how this would all play out, from the minute Missy chose Natalie.  Predictably, Jon finds the idol on Exile.  Predictably, Reed and Alec convince Jaclyn that she should ally with them, that Natalie and Missy/Baylor have a final three deal that doesn't include Jaclyn/Jon (which is true, but seems like something a desperate person would say to save themselves). Predictably, Jaclyn gets paranoid about her alliance and wants to be the swing vote and switch things up for the fiftieth time.  

But when Jon comes back from Exile, he doesn't want to listen to her concerns.  He's tired, hungry, dirty, and just wants a little love and attention from his woman.  Rather than discussing strategy, they have a huge blow up, she flirts with Alec, he goes off to talk with Missy, and somewhere Reed is wondering how his game came down to one errant sentence by an old guy who spits more that a camel using chewing tobacco.  Reed scrambles, making his best pitch to Jon.  In the wink of Jon's eye, it looks like perhaps Reed is going to be able to make this happen.  But, unfortunately, the usually clueless Jon even sees through Reed's desperate attempt.  Or, more likely, he's too exhausted from his fight with Jaclyn to do anything other than the easy vote.

Reed, prophetically, says he's worried that the silence between Jaclyn and Jon will mean they won't be able to consider his offer to them and that he may end up eliminated because the two whose votes he needs won't talk to each other.

In the end, it's Reed - the biggest challenge threat and only one of the three guys who can spell strategy - whose torch is snuffed. 

Sad to see Reed go, especially as he was within minutes of flipping everything the last tribal council. If you ever meet him, do not tell him to just stick to the plan. That line will probably haunt him for a long time to come.  

Quotes:
Reed: There's nothing worse than angry girls.

Jon: Best blindside sniff out ever.

Jaclyn: Who's the jury, what are you talking about?

Reed (after Jeff tells him he has no chance at the horseback riding reward): That's okay, my family has twelve.  

Reed: I'm a people person, Baylor.  You're a brat.

Alec:  It's like cream cheese.  You can't hurt many things by putting cream cheese on it.

Reed:  My life hinges on those two talking to each other.

Confessionals:
Keith
Alec (2)
Natalie (5)
Jon (4)
Jaclyn (6)
Missy (2)
Baylor (2)
Reed (4)

Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur Episode 8: Too fast, too strong

It's a balancing act.  If you aren't thinking strategy, if you aren't playing the game from minute one, you can make some serious missteps right off the bat.  It is never too early to remind yourself that Survivor is a game built on building alliances, planning for the future and positioning yourself for a deep run.  But you can also play too hard, too early and make yourself an easy target.  Val Collins learned that lesson episode two when she thought she was being strategic and inventive telling her tribe mate Jon Misch that she had not one but two immunity idols.  She overplayed her hand and ended up the second boot.  It took 21 days, but Josh Canfield learned that lesson as well.  As he told us in his post-torch snuffing confessional, "I just revealed a little too much of who I was out here and that sent me packing."

The tribe gathering for the reward challenge

Last week, Jeff Probst said that Julie McGee's decision to quit the game may have resulted in a "million dollar break" for someone.  Whether or not that check will be written to Jeremy Collins, we know that Josh was not the beneficiary of that rash decision.  He was at the top of an alliance that was ready to vote out his biggest threat, Jeremy, and solidify his position as the one to beat.  As Drew might have said, basically, Josh was a bad ass.  So what went so horribly wrong?

Josh had an early, solid alliance with Baylor Payne.  Probably always on the lookout for a guy she can trust (thanks to inevitable daddy and stepdaddy issues), Baylor had joined with Josh and agreed to vote out one of the women (Nadiya) and stand with the guy alliance. So how did Josh repay her?  He blindsided Baylor by putting her name down for no apparent reason.  Three days into the game.  He tried to justify it by telling her it was to remove suspicion that the two were working together. Well, it worked brilliantly because it certainly removed that suspicion -- from Baylor's mind.

The next time they went to tribal council, Josh knew that his ally Baylor was the target and switched his vote to Val to guarantee a tie vote, which ultimately led to Val being the next out and not Baylor.  But again, Josh failed to share his strategy with Baylor and she was left feeling alone in their two-person alliance.  Whenever they were together, Josh pushed their deal, but Baylor could never trust him.

Let's assume that Josh saw Tony's game in Survivor Caramoan and he thought that these wonky votes would not hurt him.  What Josh forgot was that by the time Tony was casting crazy, unexpected votes and having to explain himself afterwards, they were already weeks into the game. He had already built up trust with these people, had already trained them to believe him, so when he did something crazy, he could come back to them, tell them he did it for their own good, and they believed him.

Josh never had that level of trust with Baylor.  More importantly, because this season is a Blood v. Water season, he was also hurt by everyone knowing that his one true alliance was with his boyfriend Reed.

Baylor and Missy talking strategy

But let's be fair to Josh, who otherwise played a great game and was so much fun to watch.  He may have lost Baylor's trust and may not have been able to get her vote with the handy, "you owe me" but Baylor wasn't the reason he was the first person sent to hang out at the Ponderosa.  That honor goes to Jaclyn.  She and Jon were all ready to side with Josh and Reed, Keith and Wes and Alec to vote off Jeremy, swayed by Reed's statement that whoever ends up in the final tribal council against the affable fireman with two kids does not stand a chance.

The anti-Jeremy alliance was solid.  But give people three extra days to contemplate anything - especially food and sleep deprived people who are trying to win $1 million - and they will second and third guess themselves.  That's what happened to Jon and Jaclyn.  He was a bit on the fence about his decision to scuttle his alliance with Jeremy (remember when Jon vowed to protect Val?  Yeah, me neither) but it was Jaclyn who had a revelation.  She did not like the boorish frat trifecta of Alec, Wes and Keith and she did not like not being included in any strategy discussions when Jon was away from camp.

The more Jaclyn thought of it, why would she and Jon want to go up against all these guys now that individual immunity is so important?  Josh and Reed have balance and strength, Alec and Wes are pretty fit (Wes is a fireman, too) and even Keith has beasted some competitions. Wouldn't it be better to go to the end with Jeremy (who went out FIRST in the first solo immunity challenge last week), Natalie, Baylor and Missy??  And, though this didn't seem to enter into her consciousness, wouldn't it be better to break up the other pairs and be the last one standing?  And Jaclyn liked Baylor, preferred to hang out and talk to her than be ignored or disrespected by he guys.  It was an easy decision in the end.

I was sad to see Josh go.  He loved the game and came to play, but sometimes it's good to remind ourselves that playing and winning is not as easy as some people - *cough* Tony *cough* - make it look!

Josh gives his last Survivor confessional

Other highlights/lowlights:
For the reward challenge, the tribe was split in two groups, the winning group going to a taco (and beer and margarita) bar, the loser dining on snails.  Not escargot.  Snails.  As Reed noted, the split was not along party lines, so his winning team consisted of his allies, Wes and Keith, along with his nemeses Jeremy and Natalie.  The split left neither group in a position to strategize but those who feasted barely noticed, being distracted by watching Wes stuff as much into his mouth as he could before his body alerted him he'd gone too far.

Keith has absolutely no social skills or self-awareness.  It's one thing to complain about Baylor being lazy and privileged, it's another thing to do it in front of the self-described mama bear Missy.  And it's another thing on top of that to them blame Missy for stepping in and doing what he thinks Baylor should be doing around camp.  So, let's see, he said you're daughter's lazy and you're an enabler.  How far does he plan on making it in the game?

Keith is not a great liar.  He tried at the taco fiesta to sell the story that Julie had been his target and that he had no idea what he would have done had they gone to tribal after she quit. Jeremy is not buying one moment of that story and knows now that Keith is firmly with the other alliance.

Wes is young.  He knows not to wolf down large quantities of Mexican food (heck any food) and alcohol especially after not eating much for three weeks.  So what does he do?  Ask for double meat, double cheese for double the pain.  He will be paying for this mistake as well anyone in ear/nose shot of him.

Natalie should get a legal separation from Nadiya.  Together, they are annoying as hell.  Alone, Natalie is one of the most entertaining Survivors ever.

If you had trouble playing along with that memory test/immunity challenge sitting on your couch, after sleeping in your comfy bed last night and having a nice, balanced meal, imagine trying to remember all that in their condition.  Very impressed with Jeremy.

Jeremy walks a fine line between respectful and misogynistic (I bet Val gave him a good talking to about treating women differently, albeit with chivalry), Keith/Alec/Wes have obliterated the line and are some rude, crude, women haters.  Thank goodness Jaclyn woke up to the arrogance and rudeness of those guys. Unfortunately, instead of targeting one of those three sexist pigs, we lost Josh.  When he looks back on his game, maybe Josh will think twice about aligning with people like that.

Natalie didn't say much, but she made every word count.  She pointed out at tribal how the guys don't include Jaclyn in their decisions and she mentioned how nice it would be to get the old Hunahpu group back together (meaning, Jon come back!).  It was a nice play to get the power couple.

Quotes: 
Wes: "I wish I had the will power to control myself"
Wes: "It was all fun and games until I felt like crap."
Keith: "As long as you're still burping I guess you're okay."
Keith: "Wes is a good kid. He ain't been to jail yet."

Confessionals:

Missy (3)
Jon (2)
Reed 
Natalie 
Jeremy (4)
Wes 
Keith
Josh (3)
Baylor (3)
Jaclyn (3)
Alec

Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur Episode 7: I Quit

How am I supposed to work under these conditions?  It's cold, it rained a week ago, my significant other isn't here and I'm out of trail mix.  And no one is telling me how pretty I am.  Why does everyone hate me just because I managed to sneak enough makeup onto the island to keep RuPaul happy?  Why do I have to watch other people be happy, what about me? Wahhhhhh.

Now that I'm done channeling the latest castaway to leave Survivor, "John Rocker's girlfriend" Julie McGee, let's look at what happened on last night's let down of a show.

Things started well enough, with the two tribes merging at twelve, having a feast which made Hunahpu's decision to forfeit their luxury items for rice even dumber.  Surprisingly, there was no clue to an immunity island stuffed in any of the buffs or underneath any of the food or, if there were, this group probably ate it.

After settling and and coming up with a creative new name for their tribe (insert eye roll).  Merging the two names together like they're coming up with a new showmance name may, and I'm going out on a limb here with the may, have been a cool idea once, long ago, but now it's just lazy.  What happened to creativity, like when Malcolm famously fooled his castmates on Survivor: Caramoan, telling them when he suggested a new tribe name of Enil Edam that it meant "new beginnings" when it was really his mom's name spelled backwards.

The survivors did some quick calculation and saw that there were four singles and four pairs.  Alec thought that meant there were eight people left, but everyone else grasped the math.  Keith, who had been odd man out on the Coyopa tribe, was reunited with his son Wes and was now in the majority.  Jeremy, who had been sitting pretty on Hunahpu, was now in the minority.  It would be very easy for the couples to eliminate the singles and then duke it out when it got down to the final eight.

Jeremy knew he had Missy and Baylor and that they would come back over to him, joining with Natalie and Julie. That was only five, so Jeremy immediately reconnected with Jon.  He warned him about how Josh is running things and that he and Reed had Alec and Wes and Keith.  If Jon and Jaclyn joined Jeremy's group, the seven could then vote to get rid of Josh, who is the biggest threat in the game.  Jeremy easily locked up Jon,

Jeremy was right to target Josh, because the only person playing harder than Jeremy this season is Josh.  He pulled Wes and Keith over to join Josh, Reed and Alec.  That was only five, so he went to his former ally Baylor and asked her to bring her two votes over to get rid of Jeremy.  Baylor was all for that - despite the fact that Josh had voted against her, despite the fact that Josh had lied/withheld information from her and despite the fact that she had already told us in a confessional that she couldn't trust Josh any more, he easily charmed her right back into his web.

When Baylor told her mom her intention of joining up with Josh's group against Jeremy, Missy shut that down.  Just because she's been married and divorced three times doesn't mean that her choices are in any way suspect or that Baylor shouldn't follow her decisions blindly. She's the mom and she knows best.

But have no fear, Josh fans.  All is not lost.  He doesn't need Missy and Baylor, if he can pull in Jon and Jaclyn.   Sure, Jon was allied with Jeremy since the start.  Sure they reconnected immediately following the merge.  Sure, Jon agreed to join Jeremy and vote off Josh. But all you have to do is wave something shiny in front of Jon and his memory is wiped clean.  He's then susceptible to whoever speaks to him next.  So Josh and Reed do that, and within seemingly seconds, Jon flips and flops his way over to Team Josh.

Meanwhile, the post-feast satisfaction is starting to wear off and people are looking for scraps and suddenly someone remembers that there was leftover trail mix.  Julie is sitting off away from the tribe, munching on some dried apricot, as she says in her confessional that she grabbed the trail mix and put it in her bag and possession is 9/10th of the law and hiding something so no one knows you have it is the other 1/10th so she's going to keep it for herself.

Only the rest of the tribe goes CSI: Huyopa and start to figure out the missing food must be in someone's bag and after eliminating all the other options of where it could be they zero in on Julie's bag.  Lo and behold, what do they find?  Not lipstick, eyeliner, a hair straightener, blush, conditioner, an eyelash curler, and tweezers, nope it's the missing trail mix.   Instead of getting a lynch squad to go after Julie, they scoop out all the munchable goodness from her bag and have a mini feast in her absence.

Julie comes back to the camp and she realizes that they discovered her stash (possibly it was their askance looks, possibly it was the fact everyone had nut breath, or maybe it was the fact that Alec actually mentioned trail mix out loud in front of her).  But whatever it was, Julie knows she's in trouble big time.

But first, it's time for the Immunity Challenge and it is not one that necessarily favors one gender over another.  It requires balance and strength and concentration and the most surprising thing other than old man Keith winning is that Jeremy went out first.  As he noted in the post-challenge confessional, it wasn't just that he went out first, but who outlasted him.  Julie, for goodness sake.  Julie. That hurt the most.

Keith, who had earlier forgotten it was his son Wes' birthday, was head to head against his son at the end and, with the chance to make that up to him he, like a good dad...held on and whooped his kid. Yep, no throwing the challenge to your son whose birthday you forgot and who doesn't have a hidden immunity idol.  Keith is playing to win.

It's scramble time and without immunity, and not knowing whether Baylor can get Missy to come over, Josh has some work to do.  He and Reed focus on getting one, if not both, of the other duos over to their side.  Reed strikes the right note by warning Jon that Jeremy is targeting the pairs.  Baylor also is softened up by Josh and it's possible she may convince her mom to vote against Jeremy.

Things are looking bleak for Jeremy.  He won't be able to go back to the firehouse having lost the first immunity challenge to an old man, a mom, and John Rocker's girlfriend.  He then makes the #1 mistake on Survivor, telling the camera that even though he doens't have immunity he feels pretty good about his alliance and is sure that Josh is going home.

At this point I'm getting ready to say goodbye to my favorite player this year, Jeremy, and tip my hat to my new favorite, Josh, who will now coast to victory.  Only, Julie has something to say about all of this.

She's tired, hungry, she misses "her boyfriend John Rocker," and what's worse, no one likes her.  No one ever likes her because she's pretty. Even sunburned, without any facial products or a professional blowout, they still don't like her because she's pretty. She's on the outs and probably the next one to go home, all because she's pretty.  And maybe because of the whole laziness/trail mix stealing thing.  But mostly, because of the pretty.

Missy tries to talk her into staying, but fails to appreciate what buttons need pushing.  Tell Julie that she wants to show everyone how strong she is, how capable she is, how more than two boobs and a pretty face she is. Tell Julie that "her boyfriend John" will love her more, put a ring on it, if she hangs in there. Tell her no one wants to date a quitter, even if they made the merge.  Nope, Missy tells her, basically, that if she quits, she's hurting Missy's game.

Surprisingly, that doesn't change Julie's mind.

Jeff comes over and tries to talk her into staying.  He does almost as piss poor a job as Missy.  He doesn't get incensed, doesn't insult her, doesn't tell her she'll be dead to him, dead to the Survivor family and a complete embarrassment as a human being.  He gives here a lukewarm scolding then, pretty quickly, accepts her decision to quit the game.

He then goes to tell the Huyopa tribe the good/bad news.  The good news is there's one less mouth to feed, Julie can rush back into "her boyfriend John's" open arms, and they won't have to help her through any rainy days or Mondays, which always get her down.  The bad news...there is none!  Because no one had Julie in their Survivor pool and no one is threatening not to watch any more if she is gone.

Jeremy thinks this is bad news for him, not realizing he was about to get his torch snuffed.  Josh realizes that it's not the best news for him, since he was well positioned to get rid of his biggest threat, but at least there is one less single and it now only takes six votes, not seven, to win the next tribal vote.  So he and his fellow successful Broadway star should be able to get rid of that pesky firefighter next time around.  Assuming, Jeremy doesn't figure out how to win an immunity challenge next time around, or at least beat the old guy and the mom.

Quotes:  
Jon (referencing the famous Kat quote from BvW 1): We can still date each other, we made it to the merge.

Jeremy: I was out before Julie.  I was out before Julie.

Jon (about Julie):  She's selfish and she's awful.

Confessionals:

Keith (4)
Jeremy (4)
Jaclyn (2)
Reed
Jon (4)
Julie (5)
Wes (2)
Josh (8)
Baylor
Missy (2)

Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur Episode 6: Let's Make a Deal

Where's Monty Hall when you need him?  Everyone was wheeling and dealing on Survivor San Juan Del Sur this week.  Reed, on behalf of the Hunahpu tribe, tried to make a deal for some more rice while Dale, on Coyopa, tried to make a deal with Jon for his vote.  Neither negotiation went particularly well, but they both at least gave some life to an otherwise pretty dull episode.

Jeff Probst schooled Reed on the keys to good negotiating - come from a position of strength.  Jeff had what they wanted - a bag bursting with rice - they had nothing that Jeff wanted.  Remember, his life is fine.  So in the end, Jeff was able to completely gut the Hunahpu tribe, taking almost everything  they had - their hammock, their tarp, their blankets, everything that kept them dry and comfortable (which sounds like a Pampers commercial) - in return for continued survival.  As if the producers wouldn't have discretely snuck some food in for them had they just kept their mouths shut!

The Hero Arena challenge was a race with a twist, the racers are blindfolded and have to run through a maze, study a mask, grab puzzle pieces, run them to another station and reassemble the mask from memory.  Reed volunteers for Hunahpu and Baylor volunteers for Coyopa.  Kudos to the two for putting themselves on the line, bigger kudos to Reed for pulling out the win. The challenge designers got what they wanted when the both racers continued to bash their heads as they ran through the maze and the cameramen made sure we didn't miss one painful headshot.  Reed and Baylor had different strategies - he studied the mask on each pass, Baylor ran through the maze then studied the mask once at the end.  Reed's strategy was the more successful as he made only one small misstep as he put his puzzle together, but fixed it quickly and gave Hunahpu its 300th win this season.

Remember in the confessional when Jeremy said Reed was being premature panicking about the lack of rice?  That he should "suck it up" because they might get a food reward challenge?  So you knew what Jeff was going to show in answer to the "wanna know what you're playing for?"  It would have been funnier to see a gigantic bag of rice, identical to the one Hunahpu just traded everything worth living for, but instead it was huge skewers of meat and veggies.  Enough food to make one forget all about any member of the grain family.  And you knew that Hunahpu would be the ones to win it.

But not everyone from Hunahpu will get to share in the feast.  Reed gets a chance to make an enemy for life by sending someone from his tribe to Exile Island.  He settles quickly on Julie, giving some BS reason about how this will help her show her boyfriend John how strong she is, but then Natalie volunteers.  Great move and great timing.  Reed has still made an enemy as Julie will not soon forget that he picked her to miss out on all that succulent meat and Natalie has now made a friend in Julie and also has a chance to connect on Exile Island with Missy's daughter Baylor.  A very good strategy, unless someone realizes just how smart Natalie is and what a strategic game she's playing.  It's a fine line and one she has to be very careful skating on. 

Earlier in the day, Dale showed Jon the little medallion that he'd found the first day and tried to convince him that it was a hidden immunity idol.  Jon seemed to believe him - yet his instinct is to immediately run and tell Missy and not use the information for his own benefit.  I guess when God gives you good looks, he figures you don't need anything more than that to get through life.  But in Jon's case being so dumb that you believe that little trinket is an idol AND still don't use that knowledge to switch your allegiance ends up being the right move.  And that's where we get the phrase dumb luck. 

Jeremy is noticing that Josh and Reed are committing the cardinal sin of Blood v. Water - rubbing your tribemates' collective noses in the fact that your loved one is still there and theirs isn't.  The guys are hugging and kissing and "walking around like they own the place" when everyone else on their tribe has either seen their loved one go home, or is at least separated from them by a beach.  He correctly notes that their togetherness is a threat.  But since Hunahpu never loses a challenge, they needn't worry.

Remember in the confessional when Julie said this was not a great trade because they were losing their tarp and what would happen if it rained?  So you knew that the skies soon would open up and pour down on the hapless Hunahpu tribe so they could freeze and shiver and regret their decision long into the cold cold night.  Julie is wet and cold and miserable and it looked like we will be having the first quit of the season, which is worrying Jeremy to no end as he knows Surivor is a numbers game and right now she's a number for him.  He needs her to stick around, at least until the merge, at least before his torch is snuffed.  He gets his wish as the sun comes up and Julie is still there.

We don't see anything from Exile Island but I imagine that Natalie and Baylor did a better job coping by themselves with nothing to protect them against the elements than Julie did elevated off the ground and surrounded by tribemates, the heat from the barbecue, and her stylish hoodie.

The immunity challenge was a combined physical/mental challenge and Coyopa was in the lead, first to the puzzle component, thanks to some excellent bag-swinging rhythm by Jon.  Jeremy could not get the timing down on how to unlock the bags of puzzle pieces and Wes had to sub in.  Halfway through putting the puzzle together, Jon let being in the lead go to his head, shouting, "Who's Big Jon now?"  Well, the Survivor Karma gods had one quick answer, not you!  Suddenly, Josh and Reed, aka the dynamic puzzle duo, fly through their part of the challenge and quickly retake the lead as Coyopa reverts to the norm and falls apart.

Hunahpu wins!  If that was the drinking game phrase, you'd never have to worry about being sober during Survivor.  The tribe that never loses* go off to celebrate and Coyopa has to decide which of the remaining old guys will be voted off.  Dale tries to plead his case, saying how tonight's vote will be hard because they're voting out someone's loved one - a clever ploy to refocus attention away from him, the only one who does not have a loved one still in the game.  Will it work?

Not so much.  Dale tries to make a deal with Jon - if he votes to keep Dale, Dale will give him the immunity idol.  Considering Jon believes Dale to have a real, genuine, 100% certified, Jeff Probst approved immunity idol, it seems like a no brainer.  Even Jon seems to recognize it's an easy choice. Vote out Missy, get the idol, and go into the merge stronger.  But he also thinks that he'll be best positioned after the merge if he is in a strong four person alliance. Jon's head is hurting trying to sort out his two options, but he sums up how he handles the decision-making process thusly: "You can't get ung up on small details."

So after much discussion at Tribal Council, with even the howler monkeys weighing in, two things became clear.  Jon is closely allied with Missy and he will do whatever she wants.  Missy wants Dale gone; so Dale is gone.  The only interesting thing to come from Tribal Council is the fact that Keith was smart enough not to play his real immunity idol and that Jon and Jaclyn split their votes, leaving all the power in Missy and her daughter Baylor's hands. 

If the merge happens next week, there will be four pairs remaining - Josh/Reed, Missy/Baylor, Keith/Wes and Jon/Jaclyn - and four singles - Jeremy, Natalie, Julie, Alec.  It takes 7 votes to win next week, so the pairs could take out the singles one by one.  But maybe Keith and Wes will partner up with Jeremy (Firemen R Us), Jeremy will bring in Natalie, Julie and Alec. Unfortunately for Jeremy, that's only six.  They'll have to get one of the remaining pairs (Alec will want Josh/Reed, Natalie will want Missy/Jon) to join them to vote out one of the remaining pairs.

Quotes:
Dale (not envisioning a 3-way vote): "I'm not dead til I see my name written four times."

Jeff (aka Captain Obvious):  "There has never been a tribe in the history of Survivor that has needed as much help as you guys have and only fourteen days in.”

Alec (sounding like Hannibal Lecter): "I'm a meat collector."

Dale (trying to plant a subliminal message): "What happens tonight hurts more than this. I mean, we have all suffered losses at different times, but this is a loss with somebody’s loved one is going home”

Missy (showing basic understanding of Survivor): "Better Keith than me.  And Baylor."

Confessionals:
Dale (4)
Jon (3)
Jeremy (5)
Reed
Julie (2)
Missy (3)
Natalie
Josh
Alec
Keith


*unintentionally

Survivor San Juan Del Sur Blood V. Water 2, Episode 4: Who's the dumbest of them all?

I have watched every episode of Survivor since Richard Hatch sat on a tree branch and proclaimed Season 1, Episode 1 that they should make out the million dollar check to him right then.  That season we saw the birth of Survivor strategy with the creation of voting alliances, the use of deceit and misdirection, and the manipulation of people based on personality traits and interpersonal relationships.  It's what made the show so delicious to watch.  Last night, we saw some of the worst Survivor play in the history of the show.  And, still, the episode served up another tasty treat and by the end, when Drew Christy got his karmic comeuppance for his multitude of mistakes, I cheered.

The episode began with the Coyopa tribe celebrating the end of the John Rocker era.  Baylor Wilson, who had once again had votes cast against her at tribal but lived to see another day, was the most relieved and quickly pegged Dale Wentworth as the new low man on the totem pole.  Dale, who was the only one not to know about the plan to blindside John, realized that he took being in a dominant all-guy alliance for granted and better work on his social game.  This is the theme for tonight folks, on Survivor do not take anything for granted.

Back on the winner's beach, all is good.  They have the new flint and, looky here, there's the old flint.  Well, gosh darn, they didn't lose it after all (Jon Misch points out, that means he didn't lose it after all)!  But it also means that they gave up fishing great for nothing.  That's so funny!  Okay, maybe not to them.  And certainly not to Drew who is the greatest angler the world has ever seen and would have fished the area dry by now if only he had a snorkel.  But Drew has a masterplan, one of many.  He will charm Jeff Probst into exchanging the extra flint for the fishing gear and also get him to throw in a grill, some paella and a nice Merlot to go with it.

"That's what a good leader does," "without me these people would be nothing."   So says Drew the Delusional as he makes sure to let us know that he's running the successful Hunahpu tribe and he doesn't have to listen to the little people, he'll let them know what's what.  Boy, life with Drew as your older brother must have been a blast, right Alec?

At Heroes Arena Julie McGee and the Hunahpu tribe see that Coyopa took their (primarily Natalie Anderson's) advice and voted off Julie's boyfriend John.  Hunahpu keeps it classy by clapping and celebrating while Julie tries not to show any emotion.  You almost feel sorry for her, and then you reember she chose to date John Rocker and you get over it.  Then Drew interrupts Jeff to try and barter a new, never-struck flint for some of the long gone fishing gear and Jeff strings him along for shits and giggles before letting him know the answer is not no but never. 

The actual loved-ones duel pits Jon against Jaclyn Schultz and it's close, but Jon gets the win and the honot of sending his girlfriend to Exile Island.  He also gets to pick someone from his tribe to go with her and wanting to protect his grilfriend and make sure she's safe and comfoted of course he sneds...DREW???  "I trust Drew, he pulls his weight (unless he's napping)," says Jon to explain his choice and I can think of seven other people who would have made a better choice.  Even Jon must realize how dumb that was as he later quips that, knowing Drew, he bets Jaclyn is doing most of the work!

Meanwhile, Alec Christy asks, after his team's 87th straight loss, "Are we going to be the worst tribe in survivor history?"  Well, maybe, but your brother has a different idea!  But first, Drew, the ladies' man, is out to strategize and manipulate minds on his way to be the greatest Survivor player ever.  His first brilliant plan is to throw the next challenge, to get rid of the "snakes" on his team.  And, he's goig to tell someone on the other tribe his plan. 

.Back on Hunahpu, Keith Nale is looking for the immunity idol.  When he doens't find it, he decides that Jeremy Collins probably aflreay found it as he also had the clue to the idol's location.  So what does he do, thinking his Firefighters R Us alliance member Jeremy has the idol?  Does he go to him and ask him?  Does he keep the knowledge to himself?  Or does he BLAB TO EVERYONE ELSE ON THE TRIBE?  Pick the dumbest answer and you'll be right.

Reed tells Jeremy that his buddy Keith just dropped a dime on him and now Jeremy is out for blood and making sure everyone knows that Keith cannot be trusted.  Keith is so dumb, I'd sit and marvel at his stupidity but there's no time, because now Jeremy wants to take the title of dumbest player by telling his fellow tribemates how disappointed he is at Keith BECAUSE HE HAD HIS BACK.  You know, your fellow tribemates (especially the girls who thought you were in an alliance with them) do not need to know you had a secret two person alliance with Ketih.  Keith redeems himself by going back to check again for the immunity idol, which he finds when it literally jumps up at him, and by not blabbing about having it.

Baylor and Alec have a tense relationship.  He feels bossed around by his brother Drew, so the last thing he wants is to feel inferior to Baylor.  But she manages to push all the same buttons and where, in past seasons, their bickering would look like a precursor to some showmance, this looks like it'll need a visit by Dr. Phil very soon. 

The immunity challenge involves running, swimming, fetching, retrieving and tossing and the Hunahpu tribe sits out three of its stronger players.  Despite this, Hunahpu is still in it when it's time for the tossers to land five rings on their pegs.  That's where Operation Throw the Challenge comes into play as Drew makes sure he's the only one throwing rings for his team and he throws as well as Ray Charles plays darts.  Coyopa "wins" their first immunity challenge and they believe that hard work, positive thinking, the absence of a negative influence like John and god's love all meshed to give them their first victory.  Jaclyn knows the real reason, but she's not letting on as her tribemates go off feeling good for the first time all season.

The kingpin of his tribe Drew is happy that things are going just the way he planned.  Jon, the other alpha male on the tribe, has Julie in his sights.  She's not in the guys' alliance, she doesn't have a loved one still in the game (like Keith, Jon, and Drew) and she's a threat.  She should be the next to g... Hold that thought, says Drew "Kanye" Christy.  Imma let you finish...actually I'm not.  Drew has a better idea and it can't wait.  Kelley Wentworth, that's their next target.  He does not want to hear what Jon has to say, Drew knows who's next and that should be the end of the discussion.

Jeremy, the third alpha male on the tribe, is gunning for Keith.  He is furious with Keith for turning his back on their alliance, for being shady and untrustworthy.  He should be the next to g... Now it's Drew's turn to interrupt Jeremy.  Drew has a better idea...Kelley.  She's the biggest threat, she should be their next target, blah blah blah. You have to hand it to Drew, when he gets something in his head, he does not let it go.

Natalie, who is playing a great game without her twinnie around, goes to tell Missy about Drew's plan.  It somehow never occurred to Drew that if Kelley is the head of this deadly all-girls alliance, that maybe he shouldn't be talking smack about her in front of the other girls!  Natalie realizes that the guys are splintered and that Drew would have nothing to fear from the girls if he had basic math skills.  If the guys agree on a common target, their five votes are enough to carry the vote.  But if the guys do not work together, then a four-strong girl alliance might be enough.  So she and Missy focus on which of the guys is the biggest physical threat after merge and decide to target him.

Drew is so convinced that things will go his way that he talks about his plan to get rid of Kelley IN FRONT OF KELLEY.  "Let's get Kelley out tonight and then all these bitches will come to us," Mr. Sensitive says, loudly, at camp.  He obviously thinks the girls post-show will be swarming the guy who calls women bitches and this is just the tip of his delusional iceberg.  He also thinks that telling someone they are the target will not lead them to do anything, that saying you are the head honcho makes it true, and that hubris makes you bullet proof.  

Natalie goes to Jeremy with the plan to get rid of Drew.  Jeremy is not adverse to the idea of getting rid of the "moron," (query, if we all agree with the insult, even if not PC, do I still have to put it in quotes?) although it does make him nervous. .But with every utterance from Drew it makes keeping him around more of a liability.  Even his friend Jon calls him a jackass. 

At tribal council, we quickly learn that this is a highly-splintered group.  Jon and Drew are tight, but it's not good when your friendship has you pegged early as a strong alliance.  The tribe has "too many chiefs, not enough Indians" and half the tribe is lazy as hell.  As Jeff continues with his questions, the tribe keeps their answers pretty vague until Jeremy decides to lay his cards out.  He tells Jeff - and his fellow tribemates - that he felt betrayed by Keith WHO HE WAS IN AN ALLIANCE WITH.  Now, this may have surprised the girls who Jeremy had formed alliances with on Day One and also surprised the other guys who thought they were all on equal footing.  But mostly it surprised all of us who  knew Jeremy is a super fan who's been trying to get on the show forever.  How did he not know to keep his mouth shut about this alliance?

Somehow, though, Jeremy comes out of this mess in pretty good shape as Natalie comes to his defense against Keith and Jeff, while rolling his eyes, does not call Jeremy out on his strategic blunder.  Keith, shows himself to be a neophyte at the game, not realize that sub-alliances are a thing on a show that is in its 29th season.  Drew says that he's heard a lot of names being tossed around at camp including Keith and Julie, but he has his eyes on another "bad energy" in the tribe.  Coincidentally, so does Kelley, only she points out that not everyone is agreed on who might that bad seed be.  Natalie the Captain Obvious for tonight's show tells Jeff that the tribe is "scatterbrained" and that a few stray votes can change everything.  And with that hammer of foreshadowing still echoing in our ears, it's time for a vote. 

"We're a hot mess," says Natalie.  Jeff chimes in that it's about to get a lot messier, and it does in for the first time in I don't know how long, there are four separate players - Julie, Kelley, Keith and Drew - each getting at least one vote.  With the girls, plus Jeremy, joining forces it's Drew who is the fourth person kicked out of Survivor San Juan Del Sur Blood Versus Water 2.  As much rejoicing as there will be among the girls, especially Kelley, to be rid of the deranged Drew, how happy will Alec be that he outlasted his older brother?  Should make Thanksgiving dinner a little more interesting - Drew, who gets the biggest slice of pumpkin pie now, bitch?

Next week it's "drop your buffs" time and there'll be a mixing of the two teams.  Will we finally get a Reed confessional?  Will we finally get the rain that's been threatening?  Will the cameraman stop beating us over the head with shots of snakes slithering around the island?  Will another immunity idol be buried back at Coyopa's camp?  Come back next week to find out.

Confessionals:
Baylor
Dale
Drew
Kelley
Drew
Alec
Drew
Jon
Julie
Drew
Jaclyn
Drew
Keith
Jeremy
Baylor
Alec
Jeremy
Natalie

Recapping Survivor Blood v. Water San Juan Del Sur Episode 3: John Rocker lives up to his reputation

It only takes two tribal councils where her name is written down for Baylor Payne to realize she may not be in the best position on her tribe.  With only two girls remaining on Coyopa, and she being the physically weakest, it's time for Baylor to scramble.  But what she doesn't realize just how lucky she was that Josh Canfield was paying attention back at camp and how his quick thinking, and second straight tribal council vote switch, saved her.  She was smart to try and pair up with him early and, even if he can't be trusted farther than she can throw John Rocker, he's a good ally to have.

Josh is playing HARD.  He watches what goes on around camp, who is talking with who, who has the numbers, how the next few votes would go.  He is paying lip service to being part of the guys' alliance, but he is the founding and sole member of the Josh alliance.  The only problem with his game so far is that he's had to explain his shady behavior too much already and after just six days he already is seen as someone who will go rogue.

On Hunahpu, you would think life would be great  They haven't lost a challenge and they're still enjoying their shiny new piece of flint whick will keep the home fires burning.  But this wouldn't be Survivor if everyone sat around singing Kumbayah.  So we have Drew Christy, aka Sleeping Beauty, aka Douchey McDoucherson, lazing around the camp while everyone else works on improving their shelter.  He actually finds weaving palm fronds too taxing.  He has violated one of the cardinal rules of Survivor, he is standing out (technically lying down) and being the subject of conversation.  In an otherwise cohesive, tranquil tribe he is the odd man out.

While we're talking about violating basic Survivor rules, John puts his enormous foot in his even bigger mouth by telling everyone at Heroes' Arena that he had made a deal with Jeremy Collins while they were both on Exile Island to protect his wife, Val, that he tried to execute that plan, and that he failed.  Now his tribe knows that he had tried to form a side alliance with someone on the other side, failed to tell them about this alliance, and was working with Val.  Tangentially, they also know that having John on your side does not guarantee you another day in the game.  And Josh knows that his suspicions were correct and that John is a weak link in the guys' chain.

It's time for the Reward Challenge and Coyopa picks first and they decide to have Wes Nale take on his dad Keith in a challenge where balance, stamina and focus are the key.  At first, unexpectedly, the elder firefighter takes the lead, but he fatigues and is passed by his son, who gives Coyopa its first (narrow) victory of the season.  Keith tears up and at first you don't know if he's upset that he lost or that he's not able to keep up with his son, but Jeff Probst gets him to admit that he's proud of his son and that gets Wes to tear up as well.  Awww.  From Jeremy's stunned and hurt reaction to seeing his wife had been voted out, to the hug between Wes and Keith, the heart-string pulling Blood versus Water twist is one of the best Survivor has come up with.

Back at the Hunahpu camp, Julie McGee storms off sulking about what Jeremy said about "my  boyfriend John."  She's worried that "my boyfriend John" will now be targeted at his tribe.  I think she should be worried how stupid she looks repeatedly referring to him as "my boyfriend John."  She should also be worried that now absolutely everyone knows all of the sordid past of her boyfriend John the raving homophobic bigot. 

Keith is getting savvier and this time on Exile Island he makes a deal ahead of time to share the information about the location of the hidden immunity idols.  He and Josh open their clues and discuss that they have to be wary that their fellow tribemates, including Jeremy and John, may already have found the idols.  Josh and Keith are bonding as well as a "southern hick" and a "gay guy from New York" can.  Keith is still a little too aware of Josh's homosexuality, and makes some uncomfortable comments, but Rome wasn't built in a day and hopefully this experience will open his eyes.

As night falls, Baylor is working it, girl.  She knows she's the low woman on the guy's totem poll, so she tries to talk to the younger guys on her tribe - Wes and Alec Christy (aka the least annoying Christy brother) - about flipping the script and voting out John next.  They listen and show interest, then Alec tells us in his confessional that he's just stringing her along.  They're playing it the right way.  Lie to her, tell her what she wants to hear, but focus on winning the challenge.  But maybe the idea she's planted will grow once Josh is back at camp.

The Immunity Challenge looks like a spidery maze that took a lot longer to build than the actual competition will last.  It will pit pairs against each other crawling, climbing, dragging, pulling, and pushing and I'm getting exhausted just watching.  With all the physicality involved (including Alec taking a cheap shot at Julie and John later shoving Reed Kelly), the biggest key to this challenge is being able to throw a ball into a basket.  We learned that while Josh and Baylor are a fast twosome, Baylor is not a great shot as they lose both of their rounds thanks to her shooting.  Hunahpu wins again and, ever gracious, Natalie Anderson explodes after the win and decides to go on the attack against John of the losing tribe.

I'm not sure why Natalie is so pissed at John, unless she blames him for the fact that two women, both non-White, have been voted out on his tribe.... Yeah, that does look like his handiwork doesn't it. She calls him a racist, homophobic, and a bad sportsman.  Julie tried to defend her boyfriend John but he doesn't need her help because Dale Wentworth comes to his defense saying, in effect, we don't care what hate John spewed in the past, he's our tribemate and we're solid.  John makes Dale immediately regret coming to his defense when he tells Natalie, "If you were a man, I'd knock your teeth out," and the adding, for good measure, "you look like a man."

At this point, even Julie wishes her boyfriend John would shut his mouth.  Natalie continues to yell at Coyopa that they should vote him out and John mostly keeps his cool.  Finally he says he's willing to throw down and fight but instead Jeff cools things by giving Coyopa their Immunity Idol and sending the losing tribe back to their camp with Natalie's words echoing in their heads.

John is not worried that his teammates will take anything she said to heart and he believes he's in a solid all guy alliance on his tribe.  He regrets that the past is being brought up again and he says he regrets the comments he made in the past and he doesn't quite fall back on the "some of my best friends are" excuse while still pointing out that his closest ally is a gay guy.  John's plan at camp is to deflect attention away from his past is to tell Baylor and Jaclyn that his target is Dale the old guy. Meanwhile, he tells the rest of the guys that his target is Baylor. 

A pretty good plan, until John decides to tell Josh that he has the Immunity Idol.  Warning, warning!!!  You hear the alarm going off in Josh's head as he manages not to look shocked or worried to John.  But the wheels are turning.  Josh already knows that John is volatile and unpredictable, but the fact that he has this advantage makes him dangerous as well.  Josh should also realize that if John is voted out, or forced to play his idol, then it's back up for grabs - and Josh has the clue to where it would be buried.  In a badly edited voice over, John had said he was somewhat concerned that he might be the target tonight, but that seems to guarantee that he isn't. But we'll pin our hopes on that bit of foreshadowing, plus Josh's comment about thinking about targeting John, that Baylor won't be the next domino to fall.

Josh makes a good point in one of his confessionals about the pitfalls of making an alliance too early as he slowly discovers the truth about John.  It's a good idea in life as well not to jump too quickly into things whether reality TV alliances, stereotypes about people or changes in your hair style.  So Josh is now having second, third and fourth thoughts about being allied with someone who he can't trust, let alone respect.  While not officially cutting John loose, Josh says of him, "If I don't have to use him, then I don't want to."

Josh and Wes are hanging out in the water and Josh starts to lie to Wes about how the clue they found on Exile Island was for the other camp, but Wes wises up and asks Josh if he thinks that John has the idol from their camp.  Wes is no dummy.  He saw Josh and John hanging out and figured that John probably told Josh about the idol.  I love when I'm surprised by someone playing the game!  Wes can't wait to throw out the idea of blindsiding John.  Baylor conveniently comes over just as they're setting their plan into motion

Wes tells Alec the plan, but Alec is not keen on the idea of "getting rid of our biggest athlete."  Apparently, Alec hasn't noticed how having John on their team has not resulted in ANY IMMUNITY WINS.  He also forgets that having a strong physical threat with an immunity idol is a bad thing post merge.  So he's nervous and unconvinced about the plan.   Josh isn't feeling too confident either - both John and Baylor think they have an alliance with him and they are the two main targets for the vote.  John tells us that he is bringing his idol to tribal just in case.  Because the last thing you want to do is get voted out holding an idol.

At tribal, the plan was to let John feel confident so he wouldn't play his idol.  Jaclyn did not get that memo.  So she let the potential target, who was sitting with an immunity idol, know that the vote is not a slam dunk.  She dropped clue after clue that he might be in trouble.  She was supposed to pretend that she knew a girl was going out next, that she was relieved it was Baylor and not her.  Nope.  She could not have made it more obvious that there was something else going on.  You know who also didn't get the memo?  Baylor.  Because instead of acting like she knows she's the one and only target, or throwing attention off of John and saying something like, I hope we vote the old guy off, she's also giving off huge, neon bright, freeway billboard sized warnings to John.

Do we even have to tally the votes?  Josh and Wes now know that John HAS to be aware of their plan.  Is it even worth throwing votes his way at this point?  Truly, the only question is does John play the idol, which will still be a minor victory in that it keeps that power out of a strong player's hand.  Oh, and, how much will Missy cry next week when she sees that her daughter Baylor is gone.

WHAT????  The third member voted out is JOHN?????????????  But, but, but.  Any idiot could tell that there might be a fissure in the alliance.  Any idiot could tell that the girls had some hope that one or more of the guys flip and vote against the guys' alliance.  Any idtiot would see the looks passing between the tribe, Josh's discomfort, Jaclyn and Baylor's surprising confidence.  Any idiot knows you don't want to go home with an immunity idol in your pocket.

Well, never let it be said that John Rocker is just any idiot.

Confessionals:
Baylor (4)
John (2)
Josh (6)
Drew
Missy
Keith (2)
Natalie
Jeremy (3)
Julie
Wes
Alec (2)